To think in the past people had more stoicism and resilience and it’s a shame we’ve sort of lost that?

[Carrotted]

Towards the end of the battle of Waterloo, the Marquess of Uxbridge, a British general, had part of his leg blown off by a French cannonball. He was sitting atop his horse next to the Duke of Wellington, to whom he turned and said “By God, sir, I think I’ve lost my leg”, to which the Duke of Wellington replied “By God, sir, so you have”. He then went to the field hospital where the remaining leg was amputated without anaesthetic, while he joked with the surgeons.

Thats one individual and the story is probably elaborated for effect, but AIBU to think people in previous generations tended to be more stoic in the face of adversity. To have a “get on with it” attitude?

There are obvious downsides to that attitude, but it can have lots of benefits to have that approach to life.

AIBU?

I'm not entirely sure but a start would be teaching people that they don't have the right not to be offended and that someone disagreeing with you or holding a different opinion is not literal violence.
Also we need to end this bring your whole self to work crap. It just causes more problems than it fixes

Then watch it all go down the guzzler in care home fees because frail elderly folk are no longer allowed to pass on peacefully in their own bed😖

Nope!

Though it’s usually said by people who, in my opinion, are a few sandwiches short of a picnic, a few shillings short of a pound, a few slabs short of a patio and a few drinks short of a complete black out in the morning.

As boomers would say… 🫢

Agreed.

And there is solid psychological research being done around the harms caused by people constantly being bombarded with messages that if you feel a certain way, that's indicative of some diagnosis or deep-seated problem that will be difficult, if not impossible to overcome.

And that we've reached a point where ND or mental health issues like anxiety or depression are aspirational personality quirks which make you somehow superior to others.

I have worked in the field for decades and no longer support MH awareness days or weeks because everyone is already too aware, what they are not is educated or literate in mental health or illness.

And the break the stigma campaign did absolutely nothing for people with really serious mental illness like schizophrenia who suffer the same stigma that they always did whereas now it's worse because as soon as someone does something really awful criminally, the internet is flooded with 'well that's mental health/ND' posts with people thinking they're being kind and 'aware' but actually, increasing the stigma.

And don't get me started on the commodification of mental health or ND where there are hacks like Gabor Mate making millions, and social media and Amazon will react to the algorithm and tell people all these things that they need or may help. Meditation tapes, breathwork, body-work, weighted blankets, fidget toys, different supplements, different diets. Those things aren't necessarily bad in themselves and many can be helpful but it's the way their targeted.

Same thing has happened with the menopause and now peri-menopause, where people are identifying with often vague symptoms that could be explained by other factors but being sold podcasts, books, diaries, supplements, shampoo, skincare, even clothes! for the menopausal or perimenopause.

Totally unforeseen at the time they were struggling like you wouldn’t even vaguely understand. What a horrible, entitled view to hold of a whole generation that lived through a terrible time.

People today are struggling because the economy is arranged badly for them. Who knows what unforeseen benefits they’ll accrue in the future?

Oh. Not bringing your whole self to work- You mean say, gay people should pretend they’re straight like the old days? What about black people, they won’t be able to pretend they’re white 🤨

probably just best not to employ any of these different people so they don’t need to come to work at all

Sorry to disappoint you @Itsmetheflamingo but im gen X not a boomer

I think there is a VERY strong possibility that this story is embellished, with lots of fabrications along the way. 🙄

Also, I am sick of the 'people are useless, soft, snowflakes these days!' attitude from some people.

YABU!

I think that's a false perception.

All the people I've known with scary diagnoses like cancer etc have faced it with amazing courage & fortitude and apparently "got on with it" when they might fairly have been expected to crumble.

Yeah people having their limbs hacked off without any pain relief or anesthetic while making amusing anecdotes must have been the norm up until fairly recently.

???

And plenty of world war veterans suffered "shell-shock". At least it's not seen as shameful as it was back then.

I’m not sure exactly what you want people to do when their house is worth money? Sell it for less? Should these older people just be giving their houses away? My parents bought their 3 bed terraced house for 28k in 1980. It was worth 700k in 2016. Sure they didn’t earn it. But it’s not exactly their “fault” it went up that much. They did absolutely nothing to increase the price themselves. They just lived in the house they bought.

Don’t worry though. They didn’t actually benefit from the price increase. They died while still living in it. My father died even before he reached state pension age. He didn’t do well living up to his boomer title!! Started work at 15 and only stopped work when dead. No state pension claimed and didn’t live a life of luxury after selling his 700k house!! Instead their only daughter (me) inherited all that. As a millennial I’m awaiting my bashing in a few years (along with Gen X when all boomers are dead) for hoarding all the wealth that was left to me! Maybe instead I should be the one to give it all away is that what you think? I didn’t earn it after all?

😂And to then select another password to be told that you can't use the same password that you've used previously

Poppycock😂

People who think this about BABYboomers are often the same people who think council housing is 'free.' 🙄

Also not a babyboomer! (Gen X here!)

I agree with those commenting that some people do anything to avoid even a modicum of distress. It's seen as awful if a person has to ensure anything less than a baseline of being fully comfortable at all times. That isn't how life works as you can't be responsible for the actions or impact of others.

Puts me in mind of THIS!

Is your reply to @Hoardasurass really what they meant?

Not how I personally read it tbh

"The "bring your whole self to work" ideology encourages employees to bring their full identities—including their passions, vulnerabilities, and personal experiences—into the professional environment"

No. During WW2 the government spent a great deal of time and money trying to convince the public to be resilient and just get on with it. The majority of the pictures you see from the time of milkmen carrying on with their rounds in the rubble etc were all staged. There was infact a lot of censorship of photos during this time to perpetuate the whole keep calm and carry on myth.
We also gave PTSD a much more cutesy name (shell shock) and shot people who had it.

👏👏👏

Bring your whole self to work means not hiding what makes you you. Ask older people of colour how little of themselves they were able to bring into the workplace

Resilience is valuable, but not when it becomes a reason to accept conditions or behaviour that shouldn’t be accepted. Enduring something doesn’t make it right, and it doesn’t make it change. I consider myself to be resilient (had a lot of shit to deal with) but I don't think it's necessarily the healthiest way to be. I think it's overrated.

No I mean I dont give a fuck about your gender identity and dont need an hour long rant or trauma dump because you were correctly sexed. Nor do i need or want trans awareness training (which always involves misrepresenting the law and attempts to coerce me into compelled speach and acts of religious observance. Nor should you be allowed to bang on about your personal political hobby horse whilst trying to get other staff fired for holding different beliefs or simply for not agreeing with you loudly enough.
Just come into work done your job and leave your politics and religion at home

Who resents you?