Is my morning routine too rigid?

[Tuliptana]

Feeling upset and questioning myself.
Im an early riser, 6am everyday.

My routine is as folliws
Let cat in and feed him
Open all curtains/blinds snd windows to air the house
Make a coffee and whilst waiting for kettle il bleach the toilets, kitchen surfaces. Empty dishwasher.
Put a load of washing.on
Make bed
Put rubbish out

This takes max 20 mins and i feel relaxed when all done.

My mate is staying and snapped at me to just sit down and chill. However she was just sat, glued to her phone. She always moans she doesnt have time to keep on top of her housework.

I snapped and said if you didn't spend so much time on your phone you could do your jobs easily.
Was i in the wrong and does my routine sound odd and rigid?

This is a really weird situation. That you couldn’t relax your routine whilst you had a guest (who had also got up at 6am?) that your guest noticed or commented… and that you’re so upset by their comment you’ve started questioning the actual routine rather than the interaction. Is there more to it?

Yanbu for your morning routine, it was a bit rude to snap at your friend.

I suspect she was feeling a bit guilty, you're best response would have been to explain why you do it- so you can then chill!

Maybe she was also looking for a chat?

It's a bit weird to do all those things every morning but if it works for you crack on. Rude to be doing it while you have a guest but rude of her to comment too so neither of you come off particularly well really.

Why were you both up at 6 on a Sunday?

I assume you didn’t open the curtains at 6am in the room where your friend was sleeping?!

It’s a good routine if it works for you, but I wouldn’t do it if I had a friend staying - it’s not very relaxing for them and I’d worry I’d be making them feel they were in the way. I’d sit and have a coffee with them.

I know this isn’t really the point, but I was wondering if you need to do everything in that routine every day? E.g. do you need to bleach the toilets and kitchen surfaces, empty the dishwasher, put the rubbish out and put washing on every day?

I don’t think the kitchen surfaces will respond well to being bleached every day. And I’m surprised that you use enough crockery/cutlery, clothes and things that you need to put the dishwasher and washing machine on every day, and take out the rubbish every day. It also sounds exhausting.

Perhaps you see it as a calming ritual though, and maybe that’s why you got upset at your friend when she questioned it?

Do you generate enough rubbish that it needs to be taken out daily?

Sounds like a normal routine to me. Bit more than I do, but I normally sort pets, laundry, dishwasher before I sit down with a coffee.

But, if you have a guest, that’s potentially a bit different. Why was she up at 6 too? If I had a guest on the sofa I’d go out of my way not to wake them. If she was sleeping in another room, you were quiet so as not to wake her, but she woke anyway and complained, that’s on her.

YABU if your routine disturbed your friend who was a guest and would probably have been sleeping (instead of scrolling!) at 6am 😆 also YABU for snapping instead of just saying that you like your morning routine.

YANBU for having a morning routine, getting up and getting on with stuff before you get trapped by your phone is a very healthy habit!

You need to treat yourself to a kette with a faster boil

When i got up she was already up.
Id said hi do you want a coffee, she barely.looked up from her.phone, so.i just did my thing.

Im up at 6am everyday to sort the cat. I like early mornings.
I think ive noticed this weekend how much time she spends.on her phone and took what she said as a dig at me.

I'm a lazy arse at the best of times, especially the morning, but I genuinely envy people like you who are able to build those chores into a natural routine. It's admirable.

My only question is on the toilet bleaching that early, as morning poops (post-coffee) tend to be a thing. So while obviously it works with your own bio-rhythms, it might have been 'discouraging' for a guest.

Bleaching things daily is unnecessary and at 6am stinky.

I think your routine is very regular, nothing rigid. Also don’t think you were rude. It was a reaction to her judging your routine and then also complaining that she never had enough time whilst being on the phone. @Tuliptana

TBH I find it a bit OTT to bleach the toilets and kitchen surfaces every morning!

Rude to do anything other than sorting the pets when you have a guest staying who was also up. As for saying she was using her phone, well her host was busy bleaching toilets, what else was she going to do for entertainment that early in the morning.

It's fine to have a morning routine. I'd imagine most people have one.

I'd barely get one of those jobs done before my kettle boiled though!

I click the kettle on go into the bathroom and by the time I come back out it's boiled.

I'd be a bit pissed off with you opening all the windows when I'd just got up.Especially when it's cold.

I think if my friend was there I wouldn’t have done the cleaning stuff. I would’ve sorted the cat, opened curtains and then sat down with her with a coffee.

I think it’s fine, 20 mins and all done. I do a quick clean & tidy every night before bed so it’s all clean when I get up.

She’s probably just not a morning person and scrolling to avoid talking

Think I’d have told her “my house, I’ll do what I want, if you don’t like it, pack up and go home”.

I like the sound of your routine.

I have a chronic illness that makes me exhausted very quickly. So I have to turbo charge my activities when I have energy- usually the morning.

Any routine is fine if it works for you.

But I would have taken a break from that routine if I had guests.

If you can't ever divert from the routine then that is potentially a problem.

Your friend probably shouldn't have commented though. That's a bit rude. Are you like this throughout the day as well? Are there other periods of routine that you absolutely have to do?

Your cat is locked out all night?