To think that real life sex isn’t like TV?

[Namechanged1800]

After re-watching Bridgerton, am I wrong I thinking people aren’t having this kind of earth-shattering sexy time (I’m looking at you Duke of Hastings…) in real life?! Or have I just been missing out…

Yes there’s always negative comments about anal. And aghastness that women can really enjoy it. It’s defensiveness because they know their husbands want it but they don’t want to do it so they start projecting about it and making women feel odd for loving it.

Ha brilliant post @Disturbia81 and completely agree.

Yes, also anything that could be bracketed under ‘kink’ is always immediately dismissed as something gross pervy yucky men want, and if a woman says they’re into it, they get told they’re trying to be a ‘pick me / cool wife’, or that they’ve been brainwashed by the male gaze, or that they have low self-esteem, or are being coerced, or are just fundamentally broken individuals.

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Absolutely. It’s so small minded. I wish women would support each other more. I don’t give a damn what someone is into as long as they enjoy it (and it’s legal!)

There was a thread recently where the OP’s husband had told her she was ‘degrading’ herself by suggesting a different position during sex and said ‘we’re not doing that because you’re not a slut’. I was absolutely gobsmacked by the number of people in the replies saying ‘Well, it’s good that he doesn’t think you’re a slut, surely?’ and ‘You were unreasonable to suggest a new position during sex, I’d want a partner to discuss it with me beforehand in a non-sexual situation’ and ‘Presumably you WERE asking for something degrading though, he was doing you a favour to say no’. I mean… WTAF?

The responses would have been insane if even if she’d been talking about something kinky, but she’d literally just suggested a different position to missionary.

Bloody hell.
people who say stuff like this, don’t understand what sex is truly about. It’s not something neat and tidy where we need to behave as we do in normal daily life.
It’s a time to shut the door on the world, put normal daily behaviour aside and just enjoy yourself. Eg in life there is no way I’ll let a man put his hands on me forcefully. During sex though I love it. People have to let go of hangups and let the flesh fly, make noise, say filthy things, mix bodily fluids together and have no shame. And not make others feel bad for enjoying themselves. Nothing is degrading if we want it.

Anal is actually not great for women though as we are way more sensitive there than men. We are seeing a lot more women having problems with incontinence etc

Not denigrating anyone who understands the risks and wants to go ahead nonetheless but it's not good to see young women thinking it's expected.

Rise in popularity of anal sex has led to health problems for women | Sexual health | The Guardian https://share.google/lnTJyCMyhHUME7dWX

It’s not nice that young women should feel pressured into any sex act at all and of course anal or anything that carries ‘risk’ should be undertaken with care to be enjoyable.

What’s also not nice is for women to come on here and be called ‘gross’, ‘disgusting’ or have their sexual partners labelled as control freaks etc because they enjoy it. I was once on a thread and a comment was made regarding a certain sex act that I like to give to my partner and the name calling surrounding it was disgusting they may as well have been calling women who enjoy it ‘dirty slags’. It infuriates me.

I'm wondering if I was also on the thread you're talking about because there's been a couple of threads where I've been stunned by the outright fury on some threads over the very notion that any woman might enjoy one or two specific (entirely consensual and harmless!) sex acts.

Me too, the shot where he takes off his dressing gown and unties his underwear and gets in the bath, lovely bottom.

Not seen this series but of course film sex is deliberately created to be smouldering, lustful, purely driven by desire! As for the common scenes of getting too carried away and immediately humping against a wall, straight into intercourse and it's explosive lol 😆

We're fortunate if we have experienced the young thoes of passion, which can be very similar. Rip clothes off type, brilliant, longing to be together again, snogging to death, taking your time etc.

It's unrealistic that this continues throughout a long relationship though great if it does. Xxx

I think we may have been! Mention rimming and they want to lynch you! 🤣

😂😂😂

I was a bit worried he was going to put it up her bum in the bath but no! He was a true gentleman 😂😂. He’s just absolutely delicious.

You don’t want that murky bath water up your bum.

It's fair to say that men are on average probably more likely to enjoy anal due to the prostate. But definitely women can like it too.
Some women liking anal definitely shouldn't be used to pressure women who don't want it, and I don't think it should be seen as a standard thing in the way, say, oral is, because I do think women are generally less likely to like it and it can also be dangerous if not done safely.
But neither should women who do like anal be shamed.

This.

It's all very well to say :
'It’s not something neat and tidy where we need to behave as we do in normal daily life.
It’s a time to shut the door on the world, put normal daily behaviour aside and just enjoy yourself.' and 'Nothing is degrading if we want it.' But it's not that simple.

Is 'nothing is degrading if we want it really the case'? What if someone has a kink for being humiliated or treated badly? Is that necessarily 'not degrading' because 'they want it'?

Oh this was about rimming?

That's odd, it's not an act that's recently been in the news due to women being pressured or hurt.
Otoh, it's unsurprising some people might be grossed out by the thought of putting their tongue near someone's arse. That's no excuse for name-calling people who do like it though, it's not like you were saying everyone should do it etc

Surely the Bridgerton ladies were virgins?

has anyone ever enjoyed their first time like that?

Thank you... It's all very well for pps to say that sex has no bearing on real life outside the bedroom, nothing is humiliating but it'd more complex than that. Oral sex used to be taboo (that scene in the Crown with the Queen offering Philip a blow job was really inaccurate). That changed in the 60s. Now it's thus much harder for women who don't like oral to find a sexually compatible partner, and it doesn't help that

I think it's good both kinds of oral are non-taboo now for straight couples, overall. I'm less sure about anal. It shouldn't be taboo but I also don't think it should be a regular thing most men expect from their partners.

Those are all ridiculous! 🤣 I wonder if a lot of 'man' accusations are just people who want to start a bunfight.

It isn’t degrading. It’s a fantasy of being degraded. It’s pretending, ffs. It’s not remotely the same thing. Just like being handcuffed and having your arse smacked for fun isn’t remotely the same as being imprisoned and beaten.

Even if it was degrading, if that’s what someone enjoys, it’s got absolutely nothing to do with you and it certainly doesn’t mean they’re being forced or pressured into and they have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.

And as with anal sex, women who like it are not the ones putting pressure on anyone to do it. Nobody who likes anal is doing it to set an example to others. I’m not a fan of it, myself, so I simply don’t do it. At no point have I thought ‘Well, someone on Mumsnet alluded to enjoying it so I’d better give it a go’, because I’m a grown woman with agency.

Yes, anal sex can cause injury if you’re not careful. Nothing compared to the injuries women get from childbirth, though, is it? Yet I don’t see anyone claiming it’s irresponsible to have kids in case other women feel pressured to have a baby and end up with a perineum ripped open like a crisp packet.

Ugh - I hate sex scenes on TV - makes me curl my toes.