To think that real life sex isn’t like TV?

[Namechanged1800]

After re-watching Bridgerton, am I wrong I thinking people aren’t having this kind of earth-shattering sexy time (I’m looking at you Duke of Hastings…) in real life?! Or have I just been missing out…

🤣 oh dear yes me too!!!!!

You are wrong. You have been missing out 🍪

When I was younger and more nimble yes.
Now like everyone else, joint aches, difficulty switching positions and less patience. Kids not an issue but a dog that hates being locked out of the room and hates not being by dh side.

If this is a serious post, it blows my mind that you fart during sex and you don’t lock the door to make sure your kids can’t come in…….

I thought this until I turned 40 and met someone I lusted over just as much as they did me. It needs to be equal lust. I’d had lots of great sex before it but thinking back they all wanted me more than I them, so sex sort of developed from kissing on the couch or bed.
But then turned 40 and found someone who I wanted to rip their clothes off and jump on.
Now mid 40s I don’t settle for less than that kind of passion.

but luckily I’ve never had the other end of the spectrum sex which is also on tv, where the woman just lies there while someone grunts on her for a minute. 🤢

What is a post 6 cup and waddle please?

I've definitely been that lucky 😊 .. you just need the right chemistry...

Nothing about bridgerton is real -it’s all a wonderful fantasy !

Heck yeah it exists! Maybe not every single time but we are definitely a quality over quantity couple.

I’ve always found that a good sense of humour and keen sense for the ridiculous contributes greatly towards enjoying amazing sex.

I know! Sounds like some of us have been missing out on TV viewing worth a watch!

I’ve definitely had the most amazing mind blowing sex without ever farting during it 😂

Exactly what I was going to say. No foreplay, no lube, just frenzied pumping.

I’ve certainly had sex as enjoyable and passionate and exciting as that. But obviously it isn’t a) choreographed by a director to look perfect for an audience or b) accomplished in the tiny amount of time allocated for an available for a scene in a TV show.

It’s perfectly possible to have incredible sex while also occasionally having to move positions because you’ve got cramp in your hip or someone having to pick a pubic hair out of their mouth or something. Those things aren’t a big deal to me and certainly not a mood-killer.

I don’t know what the hell a ‘cup and waddle’ is for.

The first few months of a relationship should be pretty wild
Fast forward a few years......"hurry up and finish George, I want to read my book" 😂😂

true!😂

The fact that on TV women start climaxing within seconds of a man entering them and with no clitoral stimulation does my head in. Especially when it's supposed to be their first time!

Me too! Given his exploits in the last series I wasn’t quite sure what was going to happen 😂

The worst thing about most British women (and yes, I am one) which makes me cringe...

..is how quickly they have to descend to bawdy humour when talking about sex.

We can't just say we enjoy proper, slow, mindblowing passion.

Well I do, but I find if I ever dared try and talk about that to British females, they would cringe and instead want to talk about

• My DH farts when he cums
• We nearly knocked off the vase because I couldn't turn quickly enough
• Who has time for all that huffing and puffing? a quickie does me fine thanks
• Kids always interrupting so can't be bothered any more

Etc etc..

It's like a competitive "we don't have sex really, who wants THAT" kind of thread, every single time on here.

Or if they are having sex, they immediately point out all their DH's lumps, flaws or whatever, just in case anyone thinks they're being properly fucked in a really passionate, desired way!

I don't get it.

Why does everything have to be seaside postcard, Benny Hill level when it comes to sex??!

It's why so many men are lazy in bed. Along with porn. They think all they have to do is stick it in.

"Ooh, your grace, you take the damp patch tonight. Miggins, give my lord the penis beaker".

I’m all for bawdy humour but I do find it really weird that so many women on Mumsnet seem to think that actually liking sex, or finding men’s bodies attractive, or being turned on by anything at all other than their partner doing their share of the housework, just isn’t for naice women.

So, so many women on here have the weirdest attitude to sex and talk about it like some sort of gift they reluctantly bestow on their partner because ‘men have needs’, as if no woman could possibly actually have needs of her own. It’s bizarre. People seem to get actively offended by a man they’re dating appearing to hint at sex early on, as if it’s weird and perverted to actually fancy someone you’ve actively decided to date.

So it’s not the bawdy humour I object to at all, but more all the ‘rather have a cup of tea / ewww penises, gross / it’s just a load of grunting and puffing / yuk it’s all too messy for me / he’s a disgusting sex pest if he suggests stopping co-sleeping with a toddler in order to regain an adult relationship with his wife’ kind of thing that I find depressing.

It’s as if half of Mumsnet is horrified at the idea that women might just enjoy sex for its own sake.

Yes I thought that!

I was very hmmm I’ve seen a lot of tv sex but first time this has been on’

Agree to some extent .

On OLD though, there is the problem of men lying about wanting a relationship to get a ONS. So some delay sex to test.

Surely that’s got nothing to do with farting during sex. I wondered if it was a physical/medical issue and I wouldn’t find it very funny if my children came in and caught me at it!