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Original poster

DS’s 14yo gf has just came over in tears

154 replies

JoiningInn · 28/02/2026 22:40

My ds is 14, he has a 14yo gf. The way they met is quite bizzare according to ds they met at the park but the story he told was a bit odd and I have a feeling he's lying but then why would he lie? I planned on asking gf for her side but haven't got round to it yet

They've been together for a few months and it's quite intense and I don't know if it's more than first love at this point. DS has social anxiety (also another reason I don't believe he just met someone at the park, if anything he would avoid her) and not many friends. Also tourettes which is made worse by anxiety and unfamiliar places/people

Her mum doesn't like ds, he went over one day for dinner and came back upset as she had belittled him for his tics and called him rude and an attention seeker. She did know about the tics beforehand and that's the only time she has met him

His gf also doesn't have a good relationship with her mum, she always tells ds she favours her sibling and hates her

I've not left a lot out as I don't want an essay that no one reads but she's just come over to ds in tears about half an hour ago, she told ds her mum had hit her (apparently she used to hit her when she was a child too) and told her to leave

I don't know what to do. I have no contact info for her mum. I don't know her last name, social services likely won't do anything this time of night. Police? But what would I say? I don't know what to do. Arghhh teens

OP posts:
PeppyAmberHedgehog · 01/03/2026 00:18

plsbekinddelicate · 28/02/2026 23:05

OP phone your local children’s social care (social services) and ask to speak to the duty worker. Whether they do anything tonight or ask you to shelter her will be for them to decide but they need to know about this disclosure

I agree, she's a child and I would want someone such as social.services or police being aware of the situation.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 01/03/2026 00:23

I'm glad you're going down the route of asking social services for assistance @JoiningInn

HelenaWilson · 01/03/2026 00:23

Does she have a dad?

Dillydollydingdong · 01/03/2026 00:45

Just make up a bed for her and say we'll sort it in the morning.

ErinLacey · 01/03/2026 00:51

Keep going op you’re doing well.

scottishgirl69 · 01/03/2026 00:58

JoiningInn · 01/03/2026 00:17

DS is 14 so i’d hope they didn't meet on online dating! But agree it's not important right now I was just adding it as it was the first “odd” thing especially given ds having social anxiety and barely leaving the house on his own and on a rare occasion he does go out on his own he also speaks to someone and they keep in touch. It's very weird

@CoffeeblanketandabookplzDS only has diagnosis of tourette’s and social anxiety (likely caused by the tics but then the tics are made worse by his anxiety, it's a constant cycle), his responses to her were very much “we don't have jobs”, another time she was asking what they’d call their baby and ds said he didn't know and she replied with she was playing the sims.

I would hope she isn't pregnant and if she is I would doubt it's ds’s baby as I can't think of a time it would've happened
I'm looking up the emergency social services number now. I feel like it's going to be a long night. Ds want ts her to stay (of course)

Why can't you just let the kid stay the night and deal with things in the morning. Social services are completely stretched and they might not see this as an emergency

nomas · 01/03/2026 01:06

I’d be calling SS and getting this girl out of my hair asap.

Don’t let her move in.

Lavender14 · 01/03/2026 01:11

Op you're right to ring social services. She's saying she's been physically assaulted at home and has now been kicked out and left homeless. Gateway need to assess her and she sounds very vulnerable from your updates. I personally wouldn't be contacting the mother and I'd be letting social services do that. They need to be the ones to assess if its safe for her to return home or not.

They also will arrange accommodation for her for tonight if you don't feel its appropriate for her to stay at your home and tbh that might not be a bad boundary to put in place because she sounds vulnerable as does your son. Of course he wants to help her but there's potential for her vulnerabilities and his to clash.

PeppyAmberHedgehog · 01/03/2026 01:21

scottishgirl69 · 01/03/2026 00:58

Why can't you just let the kid stay the night and deal with things in the morning. Social services are completely stretched and they might not see this as an emergency

Show quote history

Seriously? She's a child. Also a child who wants a baby.

whyyyyyisitmonddayy · 01/03/2026 01:21

90sTrifle · 28/02/2026 22:48

You need to get the mum’s phone number, she’ll be worried sick if her 14yo doesn’t return home.

Tell the gf, you have to speak to her mother or you drop her home.

She did apparently physically abuse the girl soooooo….

Buttercream101 · 01/03/2026 01:25

I wouldn't read too much into the baby thing OP. I used to be broody at that age - think it is the hormones.

Any update on the plan? Have you got a spare room? If so I would let her stay the night in it but I would maybe get DH to sleep in the room with your son to ensure there isn't any bed hopping.

Has she got any stuff for the night?

Francestein · 01/03/2026 01:46

Let’s be honest, while it may very well be true, you don’t really know who is in your house. You and DS may be being played. I would ask her for her mother’s name, address and phone number and report to SS.

TheIrritatingGentleman · 01/03/2026 02:01

90sTrifle · 28/02/2026 22:48

You need to get the mum’s phone number, she’ll be worried sick if her 14yo doesn’t return home.

Tell the gf, you have to speak to her mother or you drop her home.

You'd like to think so. When I was roughly that age my mum was angry at me for breaking curfew (I genuinely had the earliest out of all my friends by 2 hours) and chucked me out (tbf I was late because we were drinking alcohol at a party).

My friends mum let me stay under the condition I told my mum where I was. I called her and she hung up without me getting a chance to say where and said she 'didn't care', my friends mum didn't believe she'd hung up so wouldn't let me stay and I ended up sleeping in woods.

Midsommermadness · 01/03/2026 02:08

shuggles · 28/02/2026 23:17

@JoiningInn Confused. Parents hit children. People may not agree with it, but it happens throughout the country and I would have thought it was normal.

It’s not normal to be hitting children, that’s why it’s illegal in Scotland!

mathanxiety · 01/03/2026 02:09

Buttercream101 · 01/03/2026 01:25

I wouldn't read too much into the baby thing OP. I used to be broody at that age - think it is the hormones.

Any update on the plan? Have you got a spare room? If so I would let her stay the night in it but I would maybe get DH to sleep in the room with your son to ensure there isn't any bed hopping.

Has she got any stuff for the night?

The school this girl goes to has already taken note of the 'baby thing' and considered it serious enough to send a robot baby home with her as a means of putting her off. This is clearly more than normal fantasy.

I suspect the DS has been targeted by a troubled girl here, perhaps online.

I think the OP needs to be a lot more protective of her son.

Isthateveryonethen · 01/03/2026 02:37

ChineseKeravan · 28/02/2026 22:48

14 years of age is too young to start coming over from her parents.

Exactly. What have I read? 14yo and in relationships ?

Isthateveryonethen · 01/03/2026 02:39

Francestein · 01/03/2026 01:46

Let’s be honest, while it may very well be true, you don’t really know who is in your house. You and DS may be being played. I would ask her for her mother’s name, address and phone number and report to SS.

I would put a stop to this joke of a relationship’. These are little children. This girl sounds like trouble and I would definitely not want my ds around her problems.

Mummyoflittledragon · 01/03/2026 03:07

Just wondering if you actually were given the mum’s number or a friend covering for her. The response of ‘ok’ isn’t much to go by. I hope you’ve tried to make contact with SS.

ChikinLikin · 01/03/2026 03:32

She should not be staying in the house with your son. He is not mature enough for a relationship with a troubled girl who wants a baby. Be very, very careful. She needs to stay with another family member or foster care.

ChikinLikin · 01/03/2026 03:34

I would take her to the police station I think. They can investigate and find emergency foster care if necessary. You do not want her turning up at yours again. Protect your son.

Octavia64 · 01/03/2026 03:42

Ex teacher

ons of the things I was amazed by when I started teaching was the number of parents who really do hit their children.

at one point it felt like half of year 11 were sleeping on the other halves sofas because of problems with parents.

this isn’t unusual unfortunately.

i’d suggest contacting SS and the police although the police are unlikely to be bothered.

of course it is always possible she is just lying in which case SS is also not a bad call.

AmandaBrotzman · 01/03/2026 04:45

Jesus Christ would people really put this child out in the middle of the night and leave her with police to 'find emergency foster care' instead of just making her a bed on the sofa and dealing with it in the morning? No real point calling out of hours social work as no, they won't be finding her a foster placement at 1am and they will just pass it on to the daytime shift. I can't believe the cruelty of some supposed adults and mothers telling OP this scared 14 year old child isn't her problem and she needs to put her out in the middle of the night!

marmaladejam1 · 01/03/2026 05:21

Be very careful OP. Something very similar happened to me and after 3 years she had almost destroyed my family. After my experience I would drive her to the local police station, and explain you don't know her last name or address ( which I didn't either) There will be heaps of people on night shift to sort it out.

allwillbe · 01/03/2026 06:05

ILikeSpicyNoodles · 28/02/2026 22:51

She told her to leave, it’s in the OP

Show quote history

Yes but you don’t know what is really going on. Yes keep her safe but you do have to let authorities know tonight in case the facts are different from what you think

LemonSorbetCone · 01/03/2026 06:36

TheIrritatingGentleman · 01/03/2026 02:01

You'd like to think so. When I was roughly that age my mum was angry at me for breaking curfew (I genuinely had the earliest out of all my friends by 2 hours) and chucked me out (tbf I was late because we were drinking alcohol at a party).

My friends mum let me stay under the condition I told my mum where I was. I called her and she hung up without me getting a chance to say where and said she 'didn't care', my friends mum didn't believe she'd hung up so wouldn't let me stay and I ended up sleeping in woods.

Show quote history

I’m sorry!