Wtf do i do? - Dd2 told me they have been raped over xmas

[Boxingshibes]

What the hell do I do. Dd who identifies as male was raped by a 'friend' who is mtf trans. Argh!!. This is my worse nightmare.
The child in question I've always been concerned about I've been informed has done this multiple times.
Dd doesn't want to go to the police.
Im trying to support them as much as I can.
They don't want me to tell college but as this happened they are reluctant to go.
The other person has been expelled from college in Dec for wanking in class!!

We have blocked them on every social media. And if they come near us I dread to think what dh would do.

Wtf do I do?

This must be reported but without DD making an official complaint and given the time since it happened there will be no evidence! However, the perpetrator will become a person of interest to the police and if there are similar attacks on file they will be brought I !

This is correct, details can be provided to police if your DD changes her mind and she can say she wants it reported only, she does not support a prosecution.
This will ensure the crime is recorded with the offenders details.
She will not need to co-operate any further.
A SARC will not carry out a medical now as there will be no forensic opportunity due to the time lapse since the offence occurred.
They can provide counselling still.
Good luck.

I’m going to say this from personal experience. I was raped and didn’t report it and it’s my biggest regret.

I didn’t report it because I was drunk, I chose to stay at his drinking when everyone else left, I’m open about enjoying sex, he socialises with some of my friends and I blamed myself!!

This man looks straight through me on the very rare occasion we cross paths, I leave anywhere that he is and it took over my life xx

Person = man in this instance

You can report anonymously to the police- they can keep details in case there are other people who report.
If they have already been caught masturbating in public and has committed this offense it probably will escalate so best the police are aware.
Also follow the above advice and contact safeguarding at college.
If your child contacts the local SARC or sexual health clinic they will be able to talk to someone confidentially.

You don't do anything other than support your child in how they want to handle this.

Let them know you will support whatever they decide but explain that even though they may not want to pursue changes, it being logged could help the next person be more easily believed, help to build a pattern of behaviour for future prosecution, or support them if they decide at a later date that they do want to press charges. But ultimately it is their choice so you just need to support.

despite being not comfortable, these things have to be shared with the press.....not names and details but the fact that men are using the trans movement to gain unlimited access to females

You said DD2, presumably your daughter, why use 'they' and 'them'? It sounds like more than one child.

This is awful. She needs to speak to a rape crisis counsellor, that's the first thing.

Poor kid.

Please try everything you can to convince him to report it even if he’s not wanting to press charges.

Yhis is not something he is going to be able to process in a healthy, not that it’s healthy at all, but just confiding in yourself.

he needs to understand this ISNT HIS FAULT, he hasn’t done anything wrong and what he can confidently do if he finds himself in a position which may trigger or remind him of this.

This isn’t a trans movement problem, this is a problem as a whole.

Some teams use they and them as pronouns

He was thrown out of college for wanking in class. Did they also report him to the police for indecent exposure or whatever the relevant crime would be, or did they just chuck him out and consider their job done?

It sounds like more than one child.

Behave yourself ffs.

Everyone else managed to work it out without pulling the OP up.

Does it really matter this much to you that you had to berate her?

There’s always one. 🙄

Support your DD, listen to her, don't do anything that she doesn't want you to do and don't try to persuade her to do anything. If she discovers she is pregnant or that she caught anything from him then help her deal with that and support her with getting medical help. She may not want to speak to anyone else but it is great that she has got you.

You’re right. The problem is male violence against women and girls. And nobody can ‘identify’ their way out of it with ‘preferred pronouns’ and a name change, as this poor girl had found out in the worst way possible.

You contact your local
sexual assault referral centre
https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/sexual-health-services/find-a-rape-and-sexual-assault-referral-centre/

they are experienced with supporting if the person does not want to go to police
they also support if they do wish to report to police

they offer counselling and support

Really?

If possible, you encourage her to report and tell her it's to try and prevent it happening to others. It's not fair to make his potential future crimes feel like her responsibility to prevent.

All the people saying it must be reported, it's completely up to the survivor of the rape whether or not they want to report it. She may want to report it in the future, equally she may not want to. It's her choice, she's had enough taken from her already without her choices as well.

I'm a survivor of rape too, reported it and it made everything worse and caused further trauma.

Just be there for your daughter, tell her how and where she can get support. It's really good she felt able to tell you. I never felt able to tell my parents and still haven't over 10 years later.

Yes you can report anonymously and have a duty to do so, if dd won’t. The rapist will rape again.

Do you really think this is an appropriate place to say this? How is this helpful to the OP?

This. The rape being reported, the investigation and court case caused huge trauma for my dc.

What has pronouns got to do with it? And believe me, similar situations WILL arise.

The fact you are referring to them as her and girl is also insulting

I think you really need to tell the police. This is not something trivial to be ignored. The child needs help this is not OK.

They don’t have to press charges to report it.