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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbour angry with me - Am I in the wrong? I don’t know what to do.

268 replies

neighbourgate · 28/02/2026 13:58

I’m really not sure what to do. My ex came to pick up our daughter and was parked outside my house. There was enough room for people to get past with their cars and even a few vans went past during that time. However, a delivery Driver reversed and hit my neighbours guttering.

I didn’t think my neighbour was home. He didn’t come out of the house. I didn’t hear his dogs barking. My friend said she had just seen him go out for a walk with his dogs.
So I gave the driver a pen and paper to write a note which he posted through the door and then he filled out his insurance paperwork as well.

I’ve gone out to walk my dog and when I came back, my neighbour was outside. He got angry with me asking me why I didn’t knock on his house. I told him I didn’t know he was home because I thought he was walking his dogs. He told me he was home and that he was upstairs with his dogs scared because of the van hitting his guttering.

He said he was looking out of his window “watching how it all played out” to see what I would do.

He said to me “i’m a truthful person and I would’ve just knocked on your house straight away. But you just sheepishly f*cked off back into your house and haven’t said a word when you should have knocked on straight away”

I asked him if he thinks it’s my fault because the car was parked there. He basically said yes. I told him that several vans had drove past our houses and got through absolutely fine. I also reiterated again that I did not know he was home because I hadn’t heard his dogs and he hadn’t come out of the house.

He kept saying “I’m the victim here. I’m the victim. I’m the one fixing this”. Then he said
“I have always been nice to you. I even put a fence up in my garden which you didn’t have to do anything about”. Because we live side my side the fence is also on my side.
However, that fence was already there when I moved in. So I told him this. He must have Done it before I moved into this house, which was only one year ago

He said he was too angry and that he was going to get even more angry so he just needed to go inside.

I really don’t know what to do. I hate that he thinks badly of my character. Like I’m a dishonest person who’s trying to avoid accountability. We usually have a good relationship, and sometimes chat when we pass each other.

i feel absolutely terrible. I was really shaken when I got in and burst into tears. I don’t know if it’s because I hate the thought of him thinking badly of me or that I’m dishonest or lack integrity.
I wouldn’t be surprised if he knocks on at some point. I just don’t really know what to do next.

OP posts:
neighbourgate · 01/03/2026 19:58

@Prancingpickle
i didn’t knock and check because i was in my pjs for starters, and i was up and down the stairs with my daughter needing the loo. I thought the driver might have knocked. And he could have. I’m not sure if he did or not.

OP posts:
neighbourgate · 01/03/2026 20:00

From those saying you’re not sure he was in. I’m not either. His dogs bark when anyone walks past the house so it’s surprising there was no barking at all for the 25 minutes.

my ex has said he was out with his dogs.
I am aware he has cameras around the front of his house so it would have all been on camera too. So he could have seen it that was if he wasn’t actually home.

OP posts:
TheThingOnTheIce · 01/03/2026 20:00

Prancingpickle · 01/03/2026 19:50

Why didn't you knock and check?

You mean , why didn’t the van driver who hit his house knock and check ?

MummyJ36 · 01/03/2026 20:07

He sounds awful OP. I bet if you’d have been a big bloke he wouldn’t be coming round and trying to intimidate you. I feel really angry in your behalf. It’s not like you reversed into his guttering and ran off! I would have nothing more to do with him, don’t acknowledge him and certainly don’t apologise again. What an absolute twat.

JustBec · 01/03/2026 20:07

Let me get this straight: a car neither belonging to you nor driven by you was parked on the highway in such a way that it was NOT causing an obstruction. Another vehicle neither driven by you nor belonging to you hit your neighbour’s guttering. And somehow you, the only woman in the story, are in the wrong. Yeah, fuck that! Fuck him - he’s a bully.

MrBallensWife · 01/03/2026 20:08

You have a lot more tact and patience than me as I'd have just told him to Fuck off...
Cheeky bastard.

neighbourgate · 01/03/2026 20:16

@PrettyPickle
no, the delivery driver wasn’t coming to my house. He was going to a house further down the street.

OP posts:
winnieanddaisy · 01/03/2026 20:21

I wouldn’t worry about it . Your neighbour sounds like a lunatic and a bully. You are not responsible for where you ex parks or for anything a delivery driver does .

BoundaryGirl3939 · 01/03/2026 20:24

You must be a gentle person Op, and he decided he could get away with discharging all his anger on you. What a coward.

Reminds me of my brother who felt powerful intimidating kind people.

You did nothing wrong. His has destroyed his relationship with you. Don't engage with him. Only be civil from now on and dont ever bring him into your house again.

MrsVBS · 01/03/2026 20:25

You’ve done nothing wrong your just the middle man, the only person that needed to knock his door was the delivery driver who hit his guttering, it’s up to the neighbour and the delivery man to sort it out between them, you weren’t driving. Don’t let the neighbour intimidate you.

BoundaryGirl3939 · 01/03/2026 20:25

And its also interesting that he waited for the two men - your ex and the delivery driver to have left the scene before he verbally attacked you. What a coward.

Switcher · 01/03/2026 20:25

What a weird prick. I would avoid him like the plague.

Pessismistic · 01/03/2026 20:26

neighbourgate · 01/03/2026 19:58

@Prancingpickle
i didn’t knock and check because i was in my pjs for starters, and i was up and down the stairs with my daughter needing the loo. I thought the driver might have knocked. And he could have. I’m not sure if he did or not.

Hi op this is not your problem he watched it happen most normal people would have come straight outside to see the driver his anger was because he wasn’t man enough to confront the driver so took his anger out on you. You’re not in the wrong your neighbour is fucking odd. Don’t discuss this with him again it was up to him and the driver you have a dc to care for he’s a grown man acting like a prick.

AffableApple · 01/03/2026 20:28

Easterbunnygettingawrapping · 28/02/2026 14:02

100% of you were a man he wouldn't have this attitude. Tell him to fuck off and don't engage this crap any longer

This. And tell him you'll be willing to accept his apology when he offers it, despite his behaviour.

Cycleaway · 01/03/2026 20:33

So he had 20 minutes to confront the delivery driver, but didn’t, presumably saw your ex leaving the house and also said nothing, but felt it was okay to shout at you?

it’s unfortunate that it happened, and I’m sure inconvenient for your neighbour to have to deal with, but I think I’d be a bit unimpressed at how he behaved too

Oldmamabear · 01/03/2026 20:34

He is a scared little weasel. He saw someone hit his van, didn't have the balls to come out and confront the driver so he was angry on 2 counts, 1. Cos someone hit guttering and 2. Because he knows he aint got enough gumption to deal with driver which, I suspect is the main issue with this ineffective specimen of a man. You helped him out therefore deep down he knows you are a good person so a 'safe' person for him to take his shortcomings out on. You burst i to tears out of shock because its bang out of order. You can't change other people's outrageous behaviour, only how you react to it. Ignore him. don t give him the time of day or even look in his direction.

Kalanthe · 01/03/2026 20:38

Your neighbour is a piece of work

Mykneesareshot · 01/03/2026 20:40

You sound like a person who is easily picked on and anxious. Your neighbour obviously sees you as an easy target, he's a CF of the highest order. It's nothing to do with you and if he's scared about a bit of guttering getting damaged then he needs to grow a pair. Do not engage with him again.

PepsiBook · 01/03/2026 20:51

How have you done anything wrong?
The delivery driver hit his property, not you. You had nothing to do with it.
Even if you ex had completely blocked the road, that's not you.

JJWT · 01/03/2026 20:59

I'm not sure i understand why this involves you. Its between him and the delivery driver/their employer. I wonder if he's behaving like this because you are female? He needs to F off.

PoisedGoldBiscuit · 01/03/2026 21:00

He sounds like his dogs...absolutely barking!

Thisseasonsdiamante · 01/03/2026 21:03

Wow he likes to find random opportunities to pick on a woman doesn’t he?

Don’t get involved. He has played his cards, you are abundantly clear what he is like move on knowing this and don’t ever give him another opportunity to speak to you that way.

BoundaryGirl3939 · 01/03/2026 21:08

You've gone quiet Op. Everything ok? Can you see how out of order he was?

SinnerBoy · 01/03/2026 21:16

Your neighbour may not be the biggest arsehole in the world, but he's top 2 contender. You took thd details and gave them to him and he's been nasty to you.

Never speak to the shit again.

BrokenWingsCantFly · 01/03/2026 21:20

So he damaged a downpipe?
They cost a few quid. I'm sure anyone without mobility problems would be able to replace this themselves aswell so materials only. Less than £20. What an overreaction.

Even if the delivery driver had reversed into his car costing hundreds of pounds, you didn't do it. It is down to the actual driver to assess the space they have and see obstacles.

It is so odd for him to be at home watching and waiting to test your reaction. Keep him at arms length. He is not right in the head