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Neighbour angry with me - Am I in the wrong? I don’t know what to do.

268 replies

neighbourgate · 28/02/2026 13:58

I’m really not sure what to do. My ex came to pick up our daughter and was parked outside my house. There was enough room for people to get past with their cars and even a few vans went past during that time. However, a delivery Driver reversed and hit my neighbours guttering.

I didn’t think my neighbour was home. He didn’t come out of the house. I didn’t hear his dogs barking. My friend said she had just seen him go out for a walk with his dogs.
So I gave the driver a pen and paper to write a note which he posted through the door and then he filled out his insurance paperwork as well.

I’ve gone out to walk my dog and when I came back, my neighbour was outside. He got angry with me asking me why I didn’t knock on his house. I told him I didn’t know he was home because I thought he was walking his dogs. He told me he was home and that he was upstairs with his dogs scared because of the van hitting his guttering.

He said he was looking out of his window “watching how it all played out” to see what I would do.

He said to me “i’m a truthful person and I would’ve just knocked on your house straight away. But you just sheepishly f*cked off back into your house and haven’t said a word when you should have knocked on straight away”

I asked him if he thinks it’s my fault because the car was parked there. He basically said yes. I told him that several vans had drove past our houses and got through absolutely fine. I also reiterated again that I did not know he was home because I hadn’t heard his dogs and he hadn’t come out of the house.

He kept saying “I’m the victim here. I’m the victim. I’m the one fixing this”. Then he said
“I have always been nice to you. I even put a fence up in my garden which you didn’t have to do anything about”. Because we live side my side the fence is also on my side.
However, that fence was already there when I moved in. So I told him this. He must have Done it before I moved into this house, which was only one year ago

He said he was too angry and that he was going to get even more angry so he just needed to go inside.

I really don’t know what to do. I hate that he thinks badly of my character. Like I’m a dishonest person who’s trying to avoid accountability. We usually have a good relationship, and sometimes chat when we pass each other.

i feel absolutely terrible. I was really shaken when I got in and burst into tears. I don’t know if it’s because I hate the thought of him thinking badly of me or that I’m dishonest or lack integrity.
I wouldn’t be surprised if he knocks on at some point. I just don’t really know what to do next.

OP posts:
whattheysay · 05/03/2026 19:12

He hid upstairs because he was scared because someone drove into his guttering but he’s blaming you for not knocking on his door when he was watching through the window? Did you not say if you see what was happening why didn’t you come down He is unhinged, you don’t need to talk to him if he says anything else tell him he should have come down rather than hiding upstairs like a dick

Triskellion75 · 05/03/2026 20:41

And those cameras better not be aimed at your property either!

neighbourgate · 06/03/2026 11:37

He’s just knocked on and asked if I’m if still annoyed with him and not speaking to him. I said to him it seemed he was the one annoyed with me.
he said he was but that it can go on forever so he’s ’over it now’ but still stands by what he said and still thinks I should have knocked on.
I said to him “if you were upstairs, why didn’t you just come down and deal with it yourself?” So he said be was busy and had stuff to do in the house.

so I said “yes so I dealt with it all. I was down beat dealing with the delivery driver, and giving him a pen and paper etc”.

so neighbour replied “yes he was the only one who bothered to do something”. So I said “no. I was the one who said for him to leave a note”. So he’s asked for access to my garden to take down some fence panels that he can’t reach on his side and then that was that.

OP posts:
Daleksatemyshed · 06/03/2026 11:57

He was so busy that he didn't want to come outside but he'd have answered the door if you'd knocked. What a strange man your neighbour is Op

BoundaryGirl3939 · 06/03/2026 11:57

No apology from him? No repair? And yet he wants access to your garden? I wouldnt be answering the door in future but thats me.

neighbourgate · 06/03/2026 11:58

@Daleksatemyshed

whats also strange is the 3 different stories. He didn’t answer because he was scared with his dogs, then he was ‘watching how it unfolded’. And now it’s he was busy doing stuff in the house. Too busy to answer the door or come out.

OP posts:
neighbourgate · 06/03/2026 12:00

@BoundaryGirl3939
no apology. He clearly doesn’t think he needs to apologise at all and still believes the ‘only person who actually did something” was the driver leaving the note.
when he walked away he didn’t look all that happy. He probably expected a different response from me. It was quite a quick exchange. I was holding my holder who was about to have a tantrum.

OP posts:
Daleksatemyshed · 06/03/2026 12:14

He just didn't want to have to deal with the driver, which is weird since he seemed very reasonable. He really is waiting for you to apologise but I can't fathom why. I'd be ignoring him in future Op, don't speak to him unless he speaks first, whatever his delusion is you don't want to encourage it

Auroraloves · 06/03/2026 12:25

He’s scared of confronting/speaking to men.

hes a wimp and annoyed with himself so he takes it out on women

Triskellion75 · 06/03/2026 12:29

Oh my God, the absolute audacity! And the only reason he knocked was so he could get access to your garden to sort his fence? Bloody hell.

Pessismistic · 06/03/2026 12:37

Op he only knocked because he needed you. He was a coward you know that so if your willing to let it go fine but he’s was definitely in the wrong.

disturbia · 06/03/2026 13:05

Well done for holding your corner with him

Purplebunnie · 06/03/2026 13:19

I've not read the full thread but it feels like your neighbour just wanted to have a go at a woman and the delivery driver handed him the opportunity on a plate.

What a nasty piece of work he is. I would not be opening the door to him without the chain on the door

neighbourgate · 06/03/2026 21:43

@Pessismistic
yes because he saw me yesterday when I pulled into the drive and got out of the car, he was right there and didn’t say a word. Didn’t look at me. Nothing.

but then today he’s realised he needs access to my garden so then came over. If it wasn’t for that he’d probably have continued ignoring me.

OP posts:
pikkumyy77 · 07/03/2026 13:57

So refuse access and keep ignoring him. If he confronts you again just say “I know these neighbor things can go on for years.” Then walk away or shut the door.

Terrribletwos · 07/03/2026 17:03

@neighbourgate why does he need access to your garden?

ChopstickNovice · 08/03/2026 07:09

He sounds completely unhinged! And I can't believe he still blames YOU when you weren't the one driving the car that knocked his wall/house.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 08/03/2026 15:47

I’d be putting a fence up again but on my side of the boundary. He doesn’t get to invade your privacy at will

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