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Neighbour angry with me - Am I in the wrong? I don’t know what to do.

268 replies

neighbourgate · 28/02/2026 13:58

I’m really not sure what to do. My ex came to pick up our daughter and was parked outside my house. There was enough room for people to get past with their cars and even a few vans went past during that time. However, a delivery Driver reversed and hit my neighbours guttering.

I didn’t think my neighbour was home. He didn’t come out of the house. I didn’t hear his dogs barking. My friend said she had just seen him go out for a walk with his dogs.
So I gave the driver a pen and paper to write a note which he posted through the door and then he filled out his insurance paperwork as well.

I’ve gone out to walk my dog and when I came back, my neighbour was outside. He got angry with me asking me why I didn’t knock on his house. I told him I didn’t know he was home because I thought he was walking his dogs. He told me he was home and that he was upstairs with his dogs scared because of the van hitting his guttering.

He said he was looking out of his window “watching how it all played out” to see what I would do.

He said to me “i’m a truthful person and I would’ve just knocked on your house straight away. But you just sheepishly f*cked off back into your house and haven’t said a word when you should have knocked on straight away”

I asked him if he thinks it’s my fault because the car was parked there. He basically said yes. I told him that several vans had drove past our houses and got through absolutely fine. I also reiterated again that I did not know he was home because I hadn’t heard his dogs and he hadn’t come out of the house.

He kept saying “I’m the victim here. I’m the victim. I’m the one fixing this”. Then he said
“I have always been nice to you. I even put a fence up in my garden which you didn’t have to do anything about”. Because we live side my side the fence is also on my side.
However, that fence was already there when I moved in. So I told him this. He must have Done it before I moved into this house, which was only one year ago

He said he was too angry and that he was going to get even more angry so he just needed to go inside.

I really don’t know what to do. I hate that he thinks badly of my character. Like I’m a dishonest person who’s trying to avoid accountability. We usually have a good relationship, and sometimes chat when we pass each other.

i feel absolutely terrible. I was really shaken when I got in and burst into tears. I don’t know if it’s because I hate the thought of him thinking badly of me or that I’m dishonest or lack integrity.
I wouldn’t be surprised if he knocks on at some point. I just don’t really know what to do next.

OP posts:
AnAppleAWeek · 01/03/2026 21:27

He told me he was home and that he was upstairs with his dogs scared because of the van hitting his guttering.

🤣🤣🤣

He needs to grow a pair!

Maybe I’m missing something but I don’t get what this has to do with you at all.

Next time he speaks to you tell him your going upstairs with your dogs to watch from the window because you’re scared!

watchingthishtread · 01/03/2026 21:33

It's between him and the delivery driver. It's got nothing to do with you. Don't engage with him any further on this.

FairKoala · 01/03/2026 21:42

He wouldn’t come out of his house because he was scared but then accused you of going back into your house

Utterly ridiculous man

Nothing to do with you.

Ladygodalmighty · 01/03/2026 22:50

ElfAndSafetyBored · 28/02/2026 14:16

He’s batshit. He left you to deal with something that was nothing to do with you.

You did the right thing. Don’t let this bother you. Continue being polite to him but I probably wouldn’t have him in my house again.

This 💯. I wouldn't make an enemy of him but I'd definitely avoid as much as possible.

neighbourgate · 01/03/2026 23:25

@BoundaryGirl3939
yes I’m ok thank you. I can see that he was out of order to speak to me like that. And he obviously then unleashed several other frustrations he’s felt over the last few months.
ive been thinking about his behaviour and how strange it is that he ‘watched’ the whole thing happen to test my reaction. It just feels a bit weird really. I hope he doesn’t try to talk to me at any point.

OP posts:
neighbourgate · 01/03/2026 23:26

@BrokenWingsCantFly
yes. He did actually repair it straight away. So he has fixed it.

OP posts:
PrettyPickle · 01/03/2026 23:29

neighbourgate · 01/03/2026 23:25

@BoundaryGirl3939
yes I’m ok thank you. I can see that he was out of order to speak to me like that. And he obviously then unleashed several other frustrations he’s felt over the last few months.
ive been thinking about his behaviour and how strange it is that he ‘watched’ the whole thing happen to test my reaction. It just feels a bit weird really. I hope he doesn’t try to talk to me at any point.

If you think about it, you offered to be a witness so he needs to be a bit more appreciative cos you may have a sudden traumatised memory block.

Yeah his whole response was weird but in fairness, someone raised a point about why you would speak to a another neighbour about whether he was in rather than knocking on his door to see if he was in?

Lavender14 · 02/03/2026 00:22

I think the neighbour has done you a big favour here tbh. I think he's a bit of a nasty character and he's deliberately trying to manipulate the situation to intimidate you and try to see what he can get out of it. He's shown you who he is so now you're in a better position to deal with him.

If he comes to the door I'd tell him you watched the driver put their details in his door so that's who he needs to follow up with as it's nothing to do with you and you will not be discussing it with him further. Close the door. Do you have a ring door bell? I'd be inclined to get one as he sounds like he'd be a right headache for you. The only way to deal with people like your neighbour is to shut it down immediately and firmly and then give them a wide berth.

Sadworld23 · 02/03/2026 06:57

Helpwithdivorce · 28/02/2026 14:05

So he was in his house. Saw the van hit his house and didn’t come out?
I would have told him I assumed you weren’t home because you’d have come out if you’d have been in. What kind of psychopath sits and watches out the window and does nothing?
Id just ignore him from now on. He’s clearly got several screws loose

Perhaps wouldn't have used the same terms but I do agree he's sounding a bit less than stable..

I would keep well away.

ItsOkItsDarkChocolate · 02/03/2026 08:27

Sounds like he was watching from the camera. Twat!

Thisseasonsdiamante · 02/03/2026 08:33

I hope he doesn’t try to talk to me at any point.

You have agency and power to control your part in future conversations @neighbourgate you are not remotely responsible for what he does in the future but you could be damned sure if it was me I’d get myself a few stock phrases at the ready in preparation for exiting any future conversation he starts immediately. Chat gpt can suggest a few and then just exit immediately. He has no power or control in your life, no bully does.

focused1 · 02/03/2026 08:56

DareDevil223 · 01/03/2026 19:36

Absolutely DO NOT do this. Don't reward the pathetic little prick for his behaviour. It's not the job of woman to pander to and appease men FFS

I agree but when you have to live next door it is entirely different. It can be scary and intimidating. I would try and get support from other neighbours but everyday can be awful.

SnozPoz · 02/03/2026 09:40

If he was looking outside why didn't he just come out? He's just looking for someone to blame

Thingything · 02/03/2026 10:00

He sounds mental

Tuesdayschild50 · 02/03/2026 13:01

Hey ...this isn't anything you have done not your fault whatsoever.
Your neighbour needs to pipe right down and apologise he has taken his bad mood out on you .. he is the one in the wrong not you.
Don't engage with him again.

SingtotheCat · 02/03/2026 13:09

It’s easier to approach you, a woman, to give you verbal abuse than it is to tackle you ex about parking or the delivery driver. He was in his house and could have come out. He sounds ridiculous to be watching it and not dealing with it.
Tell him to fuck off.

pouletvous · 02/03/2026 13:26

so neighbour saw it all from the window but didn’t come down. Instead, you were expected to manage the situation

carpool · 02/03/2026 14:57

He hid upstairs because he is a coward too scared to come down and confront the van driver or your ex. He is angry with himself for acting/feeling like that so he takes that anger out on you, the only person in this scenario he isn't scared of. I suspect if you stand up to him he will scuttle away with his tail between his legs.

everypageisempty · 02/03/2026 16:13

neighbourgate · 01/03/2026 06:22

He said he was angry because it wasn’t the first time. Because when my ex parked there a few months ago, someone hit his plant pot. I don’t know how someone hit his plant pot because there was loads of room to pass and they were driving a tiny car.

He also mentioned a workman I had here last year, saying the workman was rude to his wife.
I told him I didn’t know anything about that and I had no idea when the workman was rude to his wife but he just seemed to be listing things that he was angry with me for and then told me he was ‘really pissed off’ and needed to go inside before he got more angry.

'I'm not responsible for the actions of other people.'

Snakebite61 · 02/03/2026 20:54

neighbourgate · 28/02/2026 13:58

I’m really not sure what to do. My ex came to pick up our daughter and was parked outside my house. There was enough room for people to get past with their cars and even a few vans went past during that time. However, a delivery Driver reversed and hit my neighbours guttering.

I didn’t think my neighbour was home. He didn’t come out of the house. I didn’t hear his dogs barking. My friend said she had just seen him go out for a walk with his dogs.
So I gave the driver a pen and paper to write a note which he posted through the door and then he filled out his insurance paperwork as well.

I’ve gone out to walk my dog and when I came back, my neighbour was outside. He got angry with me asking me why I didn’t knock on his house. I told him I didn’t know he was home because I thought he was walking his dogs. He told me he was home and that he was upstairs with his dogs scared because of the van hitting his guttering.

He said he was looking out of his window “watching how it all played out” to see what I would do.

He said to me “i’m a truthful person and I would’ve just knocked on your house straight away. But you just sheepishly f*cked off back into your house and haven’t said a word when you should have knocked on straight away”

I asked him if he thinks it’s my fault because the car was parked there. He basically said yes. I told him that several vans had drove past our houses and got through absolutely fine. I also reiterated again that I did not know he was home because I hadn’t heard his dogs and he hadn’t come out of the house.

He kept saying “I’m the victim here. I’m the victim. I’m the one fixing this”. Then he said
“I have always been nice to you. I even put a fence up in my garden which you didn’t have to do anything about”. Because we live side my side the fence is also on my side.
However, that fence was already there when I moved in. So I told him this. He must have Done it before I moved into this house, which was only one year ago

He said he was too angry and that he was going to get even more angry so he just needed to go inside.

I really don’t know what to do. I hate that he thinks badly of my character. Like I’m a dishonest person who’s trying to avoid accountability. We usually have a good relationship, and sometimes chat when we pass each other.

i feel absolutely terrible. I was really shaken when I got in and burst into tears. I don’t know if it’s because I hate the thought of him thinking badly of me or that I’m dishonest or lack integrity.
I wouldn’t be surprised if he knocks on at some point. I just don’t really know what to do next.

He's definitely the arsehole. Waiting to see how it turned out? Prick.

Oldmamabear · 02/03/2026 21:21

He is a scared little weasel. He saw someone hit his van, didn't have the balls to come out and confront the driver so he was angry on 2 counts, 1. Cos someone hit guttering and 2. Because he knows he aint got enough gumption to deal with driver which, I suspect is the main issue with this ineffective specimen of a man. You helped him out therefore deep down he knows you are a good person so a 'safe' person for him to take his shortcomings out on. You burst i to tears out of shock because its bang out of order. You can't change other people's outrageous behaviour, only how you react to it. Ignore him. don t give him the time of day or even look in his direction.

ForeverTheOptomist · 04/03/2026 11:18

oes anyone know how to find your previous posts on this thing?

I responded earlier saying that I thought that you could perhaps make moves to make peace. Not to accept any blame that's been dumped on you, but perhaps say that you're sorry that things had got to the point that they were.

Following further posts here, and how he seems to have escalated things, I retract that. He's unreasonable and nasty.

neighbourgate · 04/03/2026 14:17

@ForeverTheOptomist
i did at the time say sorry. When be finished saying everything, I ended up saying to him “I’m really sorry this happened” and he just said “I’m too angry and I’m going inside before I get angrier”.
We haven’t spoken since or bumped into each other yet.

OP posts:
Pessismistic · 04/03/2026 20:25

neighbourgate · 04/03/2026 14:17

@ForeverTheOptomist
i did at the time say sorry. When be finished saying everything, I ended up saying to him “I’m really sorry this happened” and he just said “I’m too angry and I’m going inside before I get angrier”.
We haven’t spoken since or bumped into each other yet.

Op be grateful your not seeing him he owes you an apology you didn’t deserve the way he was with you. He’s a coward. Ignore and carry on.

neighbourgate · 05/03/2026 18:36

I’ve come home tonight And saw my next-door neighbour taking some of his fence panels down as he put quite a high fence up between our houses.

He didn’t say a word to me and I didn’t say anything to him. I think he’s taken some of the panels down so that his security cameras can see my house more and to see if anyone is parked there.
It might not be for that reason But I can’t imagine it’s a coincidence.

He’s possibly done it in case anything like that happens again and then he will have more evidence on his camera or something

OP posts:
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