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Neighbour angry with me - Am I in the wrong? I don’t know what to do.

268 replies

neighbourgate · 28/02/2026 13:58

I’m really not sure what to do. My ex came to pick up our daughter and was parked outside my house. There was enough room for people to get past with their cars and even a few vans went past during that time. However, a delivery Driver reversed and hit my neighbours guttering.

I didn’t think my neighbour was home. He didn’t come out of the house. I didn’t hear his dogs barking. My friend said she had just seen him go out for a walk with his dogs.
So I gave the driver a pen and paper to write a note which he posted through the door and then he filled out his insurance paperwork as well.

I’ve gone out to walk my dog and when I came back, my neighbour was outside. He got angry with me asking me why I didn’t knock on his house. I told him I didn’t know he was home because I thought he was walking his dogs. He told me he was home and that he was upstairs with his dogs scared because of the van hitting his guttering.

He said he was looking out of his window “watching how it all played out” to see what I would do.

He said to me “i’m a truthful person and I would’ve just knocked on your house straight away. But you just sheepishly f*cked off back into your house and haven’t said a word when you should have knocked on straight away”

I asked him if he thinks it’s my fault because the car was parked there. He basically said yes. I told him that several vans had drove past our houses and got through absolutely fine. I also reiterated again that I did not know he was home because I hadn’t heard his dogs and he hadn’t come out of the house.

He kept saying “I’m the victim here. I’m the victim. I’m the one fixing this”. Then he said
“I have always been nice to you. I even put a fence up in my garden which you didn’t have to do anything about”. Because we live side my side the fence is also on my side.
However, that fence was already there when I moved in. So I told him this. He must have Done it before I moved into this house, which was only one year ago

He said he was too angry and that he was going to get even more angry so he just needed to go inside.

I really don’t know what to do. I hate that he thinks badly of my character. Like I’m a dishonest person who’s trying to avoid accountability. We usually have a good relationship, and sometimes chat when we pass each other.

i feel absolutely terrible. I was really shaken when I got in and burst into tears. I don’t know if it’s because I hate the thought of him thinking badly of me or that I’m dishonest or lack integrity.
I wouldn’t be surprised if he knocks on at some point. I just don’t really know what to do next.

OP posts:
latetothefisting · 01/03/2026 18:56

powersthatbe · 28/02/2026 17:27

So he sat and watched events unfold and did nothing about it…until the men had left, thn he got off his arse and unleashed his anger at a woman.
Call the spineless arse out on that if you see him again. And please waste no time worrying about this misogynistic pricks opinion of you.

exactly. He's moaning about you "sheepishly fucking off back into your house" when the whole thing was nothing to do with you!

Whereas he was the one cowering in his home watching everything through the window. He didn't come out to confront the driver (male) or your ex (male), but waited until they were both gone to swear at a woman on her own. Why on earth would you care about what a knob thinks of your character when he's shown you exactly what is own is like. I'd just blank him from now on, and wouldn't be agreeing to be a witness or anything if he tries to put a claim in either!

LouiseK93 · 01/03/2026 18:56

He's deffo lying about being home. I think its easier for him to make you pay for the damage rather than chasing the van driver. He's being a bully.

Jtfrtj · 01/03/2026 18:59

He told me he was home and that he was upstairs with his dogs scared because of the van hitting his guttering.

“But you just sheepishly fcked off back into your house and haven’t said a word”*

Strong words coming from a man who was hiding behind the curtains “scared” waiting for the delivery man to leave, the big pussy.

No doubt waited just confront you as he’d have been stuttering over his words to the male driver. Pathetic.

OompaLoofah · 01/03/2026 19:00

Your neighbour is a tit, just ignore him.

Sat upstairs scared 😂Maybe scared at the initial hit, but then considering he’s sat and watched what’s happened he would be aware of what’s going on - what a muppet

PrettyPickle · 01/03/2026 19:04

Well talk about passing the blame on.

Firstly, if he was there the entire time and knew what had happened, why was he hiding in the house, why didn't he come out instead of leaving you to deal with it.

You had been advised he was out with the dog and this was reinforced by the fact the dog was silent.

You haven't said if the delivery driver was coming to your house? But either way you didn't just leave it, you spoke with the delivery driver and got him to post his details through the door.

I would turn it back on him and ask how dare he leave you to deal with it when he was fully aware of the situation and they try to make you culpable in some way.

Had he come out when it happened, he could have got all the answers he wanted instead of involving you!

I would also ask why he keeps insisting on blaming you for other peoples mistakes.

ChopstickNovice · 01/03/2026 19:07

At best he is a twat, at worst unhinged and a potentially dangerous bully.

Retiredfromearlyyears · 01/03/2026 19:13

Don’t let the nut job back in your house again for any reason. If he chaps your door don’t answer it. You have said and done all you can. If he keeps knocking on or stops you in the street, report him to the police and explain the situation to them. Including that he was upstairs watching everything when the incident happened.

aster10 · 01/03/2026 19:15

Some people just let things accumulate inside and then erupt, and blame anyone and everyone. And he’s a double weirdo as he’s also confessed to testing you ffs. Stick to boundaries. Draw a boundary. “Don’t talk to me in that way, raise things in a civilised way - and you need to deal with the van driver yourself.” Especially if your ex is not parked illegally.

2Rebecca · 01/03/2026 19:16

It is weird that no-one knocked on the neighbour ´s door and you all decided to play “let’s guess if he’s home or not” instead. Banging on his door should have been the first thing you all thought of.

Single50something · 01/03/2026 19:18

Easterbunnygettingawrapping · 28/02/2026 14:02

100% of you were a man he wouldn't have this attitude. Tell him to fuck off and don't engage this crap any longer

Exactly this My old neighbours were arses to me! Single parent etc. Would always ask my delivery drivers to move/ask me to ask them not to reverse near their house etc?! Never would have said, and didnt say. same to any of the men in the road.
You've done nothing wrong

ScribblingPixie · 01/03/2026 19:23

I would give this neighbour a wide berth, OP. He sounds odd - playing weird little mind games isn't where you want to be with a neighbour. And I'd be quite firm with him in future and definitely don't have him in doing 'favours' for you.

ItsOkItsDarkChocolate · 01/03/2026 19:23

lazyarse123 · 28/02/2026 14:06

Ask the stupid twat why he didn't come outside when he saw it happen.
He has no right to test how you deal with something. Wanker.

This.

You’ve done nothing wrong, in fact, you consciously made sure the van guy left his details!!

Don’t waste much energy on it. He may get over it, he may not… Give him time.

Don’t stand for him being a twat to you, if he bangs on about it again, do as others have said, and put your boundary in place!

TheDaysAreGettingLongerAtLast · 01/03/2026 19:24

HarlanCobenDogshit · 28/02/2026 14:03

He's being a c*nt.

If he starts again, tell him to direct his energies to the delivery company.

And who sits 'and watches it all play out'.

I'm angry on your behalf.

Don't pay him the greatest compliment in the language.
He's a little prick.

pestowithwalnuts · 01/03/2026 19:24

Fucking weirdo..' waiting to see what you would do ' ??
He's a bully..don't enterain him with this shit. Can you get your ex to have a word with him ?

And would remind him the next time he starts whinging. that helping you once with your washing machine does not constitute ' I always helped you '

custardcreme77 · 01/03/2026 19:26

He didn’t come out because he’s a coward! He chose not to discuss the incident directly with the delivery driver by hiding away upstairs. Instead, he’s deflecting the blame onto a lone woman who actually helped.
He’s a toe rag!

ItsOkItsDarkChocolate · 01/03/2026 19:30

And actually, probably more likely that he wasn’t actually home as others have mentioned….

What a prat!

ChocolateSqueezyyogurts · 01/03/2026 19:34

Im sorry but what man sits upstairs scared because somebody has hit his guttering? He should have come down at the time if he saw it and asked the van driver for his details himself rather than waiting for him to leave then taking it out on you! You have done nothing wrong.

DareDevil223 · 01/03/2026 19:36

focused1 · 01/03/2026 18:32

It can be awful if a neighbour misinterprets what has happened and living next door as well . I would - even though you haven't done anything wrong buy a small box of chocolates and just say I hope we can put this behind us and move on . I would rather keep the peace. It won't be easy , it isn't ideal but I wouldn't want any more worry. It would also make you the better person . If that doesn't resolve it then like others I would ignore the situation

Absolutely DO NOT do this. Don't reward the pathetic little prick for his behaviour. It's not the job of woman to pander to and appease men FFS

BigBlueSocks · 01/03/2026 19:38

Strange man- rude and looking to blame you for everything!
Not your fault with delivery guy or your tradesman!! What is this neighbour on? His poor wife

Don't engage OP. He should have dealt with his issues with the appropriate people at the time. Notice he doesn't have a go at your ex either (yes - ex can park wherever as long as it's legal)

SemiRetiredLoveGoddeess · 01/03/2026 19:45

Your neighbours is a very nasty man

Is he old. It sounds as though his mind isn't too clear.

Make a record of everything and just ignore him. If he bothers you again. Say you will not be harassed and call to the police.

Vivienne1000 · 01/03/2026 19:46

I think you behaved with integrity.
I am afraid I would have been very blunt and would have told him where to go - so well done you.

nomas · 01/03/2026 19:48

Typical cowardly man attacking a woman.

Prancingpickle · 01/03/2026 19:50

Why didn't you knock and check?

Missingpop · 01/03/2026 19:55

He sounds like he’s got mental health issues; I doubt he was at home upstairs watching it play out …. Who watches their home being hit & does nothing just because to see if his neighbours has integrity.
I’d call the police & chat the the local community police officer tell them what happened & how he reacted towards you & that your now fearful of how he’s going to be next time he sees you & you wonder if he’s got mental health issues they might pop in & visit him & say one of the neighbours down the road witnessed him being aggressive towards you & they’re just checking if he’s ok in himself & to check if he needs their assistance it might be enough to get him to wind his neck in; they could then drop in & see you so hd can see they’re keeping you in the loop too. X

neighbourgate · 01/03/2026 19:56

@SemiRetiredLoveGoddeess
i think he’s probably in his late 40’s maybe.

OP posts: