Very sad weekend

[Dickensian1234]

I didn't think this weekend could get worse but it has. 6am this morning my DH's phone rings. It was his mum, he couldn't understand her, as she has terrible mobile access. Then 10 minutes later another call. Froma policeman to say that my DH's dad had passed away this morning. It doesn't seem real as we saw him last week and had a great time for their 60th wedding anniversary. He was talking about a dog, his died last year.
The evening before was a ridiculous screaming match between me and my DH and my adult children. Turns out I have been taking photos of every bruise and he has been recording all of our phone calls.
Meanwhile, my wonderful adult DC are emptying what was the study and turned into a junk room. I am trying to stop them throwing a lot of stuff out so they have banished me . It was supposed to be a quick visit to throw stuff in the skip and just catch up. Everyone ended screaming at everyone else last night , and the phone call this morning ( FIL has been unwell) but even with that they have to keep his body for a week at the hospital as it is an unexplained death so the coroner has to make a ruling.
My kids convinced me to go to rehab last night and I will but I will spend the whole time terrified that my DH and my 28yo ( not his son) will kill each other.
Life is fecked

DH won't be home for a few days at least. Can anyone keep me company?

How soon can you go to rehab?

No. Why?

As soon as my 28yo finds a share house and we have dealt with all the stuff regarding my FIL. A month?

I'm sorry it's all so hard. The study looks great, so well done to your children for helping with that, even if the process is hard.

I'm wondering if your DH and your 28 year old would have less conflict if you were safely in rehab? It might be better to just go and get started on recovering now.

Are the bruises obtained because you're drunk and lose your balance, or are you being hurt by someone?

Where are the bruises coming from from?

I honestly would not delay rehab OP, you’re better off getting yourself better for your own sake as well as everybody else’s as soon as possible. Delaying by a month won’t be particularly helpful to anyone if you are in active addiction it is just one more thing for DH to worry about and one more source of conflict.

I'll call them on Monday. I have a 12 month referral as of early Jan. Fuckity fuck life is pretty stuffed for most of us. xxxxx

Whereabouts in the world are you living OP?

southern hemisphere Why?

Because otherwise you have been up all night.

Oh no! It's 5pm here. I am thinking of going to bed. My teenager is sick as well. Weekend I'd rather not repeat. Thanks everyone. I'm going to have a very early one, and probs bring my youngest in for a snuggle.Ta again. Night night.

I’m sorry to hear about your FIL. It all sounds extremely tough for you all right now. Take care.

You need to get to rehab. You think you are super capable and will be a great help to everyone and they can't cope without you but in reality everyone's screaming at each other and you're covered in bruises. Get clean first and leave the adult men to look after themselves.

I hope you don't have a job as a counsellor.

Because nothing you are saying makes any sense. You sound as pissed as a fart. Read it all back when you are sober and maybe clarify what you are trying to say. All the best xx

I’m really sorry you’re having such a tough time. You know what needs to be done, you just can’t process how to do it.

The good news- your DC worked together to achieve something! That’s a good thing to hold on to.

Is anyone hurting you? Are you photographing bruises for the GP because you think you have a health issue, or as evidence against your husband? How old is your youngest?

Sounds like a lot of trauma in your life but nevertheless the love you have for your children still shines through.

I hope you manage to get to rehab and get off the drink- it would make your children’s lives and yours immeasurably better. It’s an awful addiction but you can do it. I guess you’re using it to self medicate?

I hope no-one is hurting you. I’m sorry for the loss of your father in law. Hope your family can pull together.

Your son and husband are adults, they can figure things out on their own.

You'd be far better getting sober in rehab than out thinking you're doing a marvellous job of things while drinking . It's your alcoholism talking when you try to put off going into rehab. In a month's time there will be another "reason" to put off going in.

If you want to help & support your dh with the loss if his father, probably the best thing you could do is go into rehab so he doesn't have to worry about you.

Dont understand your post sorry. What is the main issue here and why are you all so angry. It is a very stressful time but can you list the main problems.

What are the bruises from and why do you say ‘poor Dh’ when he’s been recording you? For what purpose? Why have your children emptied your study-against your will or with your agreement?

The best thing you can do is get yourself to rehab asap. Your DH and MIL will support each other and your DS and DH are both adults and responsible for their own actions - if they can't get along, they can stay away from each other. I'm sorry for the loss of your FIL. Sometimes life throws too much at us in one go and it can be overwhelming. Please prioritise your own health and go to rehab - everything else will be easier to deal with if you're sober and in recovery. The photographing bruises, recording conversations and everyone screaming at each other sounds like chaos - you all need to step back and get help, bring some calm to the situation.

Focus on getting yourself well OP. It sounds like your family have a lot of issues and sometimes you have to help yourself before you are able to help others.

Kindly, OP, check yourself into rehab today. Your DH and DC will cope with FIL passing, and deal with MIL. You're an alcoholic and you won't be helping them - getting yourself clean and well will help far more.

The best thing you can do for everyone around you and yourself is get sober.
You seem drunk by your posts, bit worrying that you've got a kid there young enough to be getting into your bed - please get help.

😱