Very sad weekend

[Dickensian1234]

I didn't think this weekend could get worse but it has. 6am this morning my DH's phone rings. It was his mum, he couldn't understand her, as she has terrible mobile access. Then 10 minutes later another call. Froma policeman to say that my DH's dad had passed away this morning. It doesn't seem real as we saw him last week and had a great time for their 60th wedding anniversary. He was talking about a dog, his died last year.
The evening before was a ridiculous screaming match between me and my DH and my adult children. Turns out I have been taking photos of every bruise and he has been recording all of our phone calls.
Meanwhile, my wonderful adult DC are emptying what was the study and turned into a junk room. I am trying to stop them throwing a lot of stuff out so they have banished me . It was supposed to be a quick visit to throw stuff in the skip and just catch up. Everyone ended screaming at everyone else last night , and the phone call this morning ( FIL has been unwell) but even with that they have to keep his body for a week at the hospital as it is an unexplained death so the coroner has to make a ruling.
My kids convinced me to go to rehab last night and I will but I will spend the whole time terrified that my DH and my 28yo ( not his son) will kill each other.
Life is fecked

DH won't be home for a few days at least. Can anyone keep me company?

This. Your children have got you to agree to rehab for good reason. There will always be a reason not to and now you have these good reasons - your DH needs you, DS/DH will kill each other etc - but no, everyone needs you to get yourself better first or you're not the essential help and support you believe you are. Sorry about your FIL and everything else going on, it sounds like a lot. Focus on yourself and make that rehab call. If you don't, nothing can get better.

Your DH and MIL will manage without you there it sounds like delaying tactics - is this not rock bottom enough for you to realise you need immediate help ?

Either go to rehab or move out.

You being there is not helping, it’s likely making things worse.

Addicts will make every excuse in the book to not get help and it seems that’s exactly what you’re doing.

Your DHs dad has just died and the spare room is irrelevant.

I feel very sorry for your DH.
I would suggest he stays with his mum but in the long term you and DS need to get help.

This is a complete shit show all round and it sounds like you all enable each other.

I really think you need to prioritise rehabilitation, OP. You are not the person that people should be leaning on right now, as difficult as that is under the circumstances, but there's a significant risk you'll buckle under the strain and end up in a worse state than you are now. You need yo go onto self-preservation mode.

I'm still unclear as to where the bruises come from? Are they the result of accidents or is your husband abusing you?

Get yourself to rehab OP. Everyone else will cope. Getting clean as soon as possible is the priority, dont delay. I wish you all the best.

I hit rock bottom in December, I also had the week from hell and I pray I never get another week like it as me and my husband were abroad and while there or son was looking after our dog and a trademan let him out and he was ruining down the motorway, luckily he was captured 3 hours later, then 2 days after than my other son went missing and attempted suicide we couldn't get a flight home as all flights were cancelled as it was during a storm then 2 days after that my beautiful father died, we. Got home then my uncle died ,(honestly this is not made up even though I really wish it was, and I'm totally outer if anyone knows me in real life)
I have been struggling since every day and my eldest and the son who tried to take his life had a huge fight, I'm totally broken but I'm still drinking but I hope to quit myself soon, I'm reluctant to go into rehab like you as I'm used to being in control and keeping everyone safe and happy. Life is bloody hard but we need to look after ourselves before we can look after our loved ones.
I hope you go to rehab as soon as you can as that's the start of your new life xxx
I wish you all the luck in your recovery x

I think u need to slow down, either start again without all the dramatics and doof, doof, doofs and/or ask Mumsnet to delete this thread.

This thread is nuts, I can't even work out what is going on in the first post but reading subsequent posts, you sound like you all need therapy as a family. It all sounds very dysfunctional.

Ok this isn't about a "sad" weekend. It's very difficult to follow really.
You are saying you are an alcoholic. But what's the bruises and recordings about?

5pm is too early to go to bed surely? Will that mess up your sleep schedule?

I think OP is totally pissed despite her denial.

It's the only explanation for the incoherent posts.

You need to get away from him if he's hurting you. And rehab might be a good idea. Have you got a place at a private one?
It all sounds really hectic and I hope things improve for you.

How do you not know you’re taking pictures of your own bruises op?

I think you urgently need rehab. Good luck.

I’ve read through and still not sure of where your bruises are coming from op. I hope you are safe. You sound like you really need some help right now, not in a months time. I’m sorry for your loss too.

My goodness, what a heap of shit.

OP you need extensive RL professional support as a matter of urgency.

I can’t even begin to imagine the hell that has been your children’s childhood. Try to limit the damage even more.

Your husband doesn't need an alcoholic to worry about when he's dealing with his bereavement, whether or not that alcoholic believes they are helping.

You go into detox/rehab, he's not around the other addict because he's busy & the adult son sorts himself out, your other children get rid of all the shit that's been hoarded whilst you're not around to make it harder for them. Then after everything's been dealt with, the people concerned can take time to decide what they want to do in the future.

The one thing that's most important is that your husband does not need you before you have completed detox and rehab. You will be making things worse by putting it off.

@Dickensian1234 I'm so sorry that you and your loved ones are having such a terrible time.
I hope things will start to improve soon.

@Dickensian1234 wont be up for hours yet

Wrong thread?

Yes sorry, just trying to figure out how to remove the comment. New user

Can you get to rehab sooner? Then you are safe and your dh isn't worrying about you while sorting out arrangements? He won't be in the house to argue with your son either

Your poor DH has lost his father … think about that and not yourself or your study.

So you have bruises you feel the need to photograph and a dh you admit is very volatile who secretly records your phone calls? Op get your self into rehab and start speaking to a DV specialist to get yourself out of the situation

I think you need to be selfish & put yourself first here. Go to rehab.

surely you will be more support to your DH & MIL by going & getting sober.

that one month delay will just get longer, you have had the referral since Jan & its March tomorrow.