Child’s party on Mother’s Day

[Keeley14]

I finally called the soft play to book a birthday party and agreed to Sunday the 15th, so relieved they still had an opening close to the actually birthday.

And now I realise it’s Mother’s Day! Bit of a panic now … I should try to reschedule right?

I just scheduled it yesterday, no invites have gone out yet.

YABU - no you’re fine, leave it
YANBU - you should try to reschedule

I'd reschedule, I'd decline the invite if it was my DD that was invited so makes sense others may feel the same way.

I think some people will have planned days out or trips to see their own mums, which could be at any time of day. I would reschedule

She’s booked the party almost bang on lunch time, when most people will be likely to have family plans of some kind. No one said anything about the whole day 🙄.

Although if people are travelling further afield to visit family, or have family visiting them - as is also common on Mother’s Day - then that could actually mean the whole day is unavailable for a child’s party.

Do you have a mother or MIL yourself
Do you have multiple children?

It’s not about mothers “holding the day sacrosanct, being inflexible or being spoiled”.

WTF?

It is about logistics.

I am a mother. My kids will want to do something for me. I have a mother. I will want to do something with her on that day. I have a MIL - I would also like to do something with her on that day.

A 2pm soft play party invite (at short notice) will be declined because I cannot fit all these things in and a soft play is the lowest of my priorities on a busy family day.

You dont sound very nice.

Wanting to spend Mother’s day with my family does not make me spoilt.

No, it's not about that or about 'wanting to be spoiled'. It's just that if you've booked a table somewhere for a nice lunch - more likely to treat your OWN mum/MIL, rather than 'wanting to be spoiled' - then realistically you're not going to cancel that to attend a soft play party at 2pm. Most places will be fully booked all day for lunches.

You might not do anything for Mother's Day, and that's totally fine, you don't have to. But it's weird to think that a lot of people won't plans. Most people take their kids 'to something nice' all the bloody time, so it's not exactly unreasonable that people might want to spend one Sunday having a family meal out instead.

I did exactly the same thing and didn't understand why people were being non-committal about coming. Finally, one mum said something about it being tricky "with it being Mother's Day" and the penny dropped.

I changed the date.

It is genuinely news to some of us that that many people make set plans that involve bookings for MD. I knew some people did. Had no idea it was such a big date in pub bookings etc.

So it is odd to some of us that such a significant number of people would be inflexible on the day that means a child's party might need to be rearranged.

I’d reschedule. Mother’s Day is one of the very rare occasions I get to say exactly what I want to do for the day and I’d rather do anything but sit in a soft play centre

DSS football team once had a big match on Mother’s Day which they went ahead with. But guess what - they moved the fixture on Fathers Day!!!!

That's fine if that's how you do it. A lot of other people like to do it differently though. That's not hard to understand, is it?

It is not only about the bookings.

It is about logistics.

My kids definitely will have some things planned for me. Then I’d want to spend time with MY mum. THEN I’d want to connect with MIL.

It’s a busy family day.

Why would this be news to you?

How many people are you planning to invite? Can you contact them asap and check with them and then change it if they can't go? I wouldn't care if there was a party on mother's day, I'd take my daughter although tbh it's more likely her dad would offer to take her.

It is news to me that that many people have particular plans at all. As I say I know some people but I didn't realise it was so widespread that a party booking would be problematic for such a proportion of people.

I'm from the cards made at school handed over in the morning and a bunch of daffs job done school with cards in the post to my mum. I know not everyone is but the proportions are different to my experience. Although I still think MN might give a disproportionate impression.

DS (5 - in reception) came home with an invite for a softplay party 12 - 2 on Mother’s Day earlier this week. I’d take a 2-4 party over that!

I never do. My mum has no interest in going to a restaurant on MD and I'm not bothered either!

Same. Give mum and gran a card and a bunch of flowers. As a mum, it's a card and a gift and normally peace to do whatever I like all day but in truth no different to most other days. There will be lots of other families the same and possibly enough to justify not needing to change the booking.

Edit: and, as we know from Mumsnet, sadly lots of mothers who's partners don't even arrange a card from the young children.

It’s not necessarily a ‘big deal’ but it’s a day that a lot of people like to go out for lunch on with their families, and will have had to arrange and book it some time ago. If you had booked a lunch out for your extended family or arranged some other kind of get-together for a birthday say, would you cancel it due to a last minute party invite for one of your children’s friends? I’m guessing not. And this is the same sort of thing.

It all depends on how many people OP intends to invite and whether she wants to take the risk of not enough children being able to come. I’ve been in the position of having a large number of declines for a child’s party and being worried that my child was going to be upset - it was a horrible feeling!

OP do you have a class WhatsApp? Could you put a quick poll on there to gauge how many people would be able to attend and then base your decision on that?

Yeah reschedule. I wouldn't be going to any party - or 'do' on Mothers Day, sorry @Keeley14 You will have lots of no-shows.

No 2pm is family lunch time on Mother’s Day - there is a reason they still had that slot available

You might be from the cards at school and bunch of daffs angle but surely you can expand your thoughts to consider that not all children with families with DC of different ages are the same, and that not all families the same? Is that hard to imagine?

There is nothing wrong with your approach but I am baffled by why you cant understand why other people might have plans.

Are you seeing your own mother / MIL (if applicable) on the day?

I also go to Church on Sundays - I wouldn’t shoehorn a soft play session into an already busy day.

What does church have to do with it? Fair enough for the OP to consider rearranging due to mother's day but she can't take into account if people normally go to church, it's about as relevant as someone planning to go to the gym.

I think you will get a lot of people unable to make it as they will be out for mother's day lunch. If you don't mind that go ahead, if you do reschedule.

I booked my DDs party deliberately the weekend before. I wouldn’t thank you for the choice of day or time as I like a nice Sunday lunch and a wine! But I would still bring DD along because she gets so excited about parties and I couldn’t bare her missing out.

What about my posts suggests I am incapable of such understanding? I have said I am surprised by the number of people with plans. Not that I don't believe it to be true. It is news to me that it is so widespread. Now I have new knowledge. Everything is news to someone at sone point.

My mum is 6 hours away so no. MIL is round the corner. There might be a plan to see her that materialises nearer the time. No idea. Even if there was it wouldn't preclude me from taking one child to a party.

The church comment was to indicate to you that people do have set plans on weekends and therefore have to spread their time in line with their priorities. This means that - if i know what time we are done at church I’d book lunch with my mum at a set time. And i wouldnt cancel it for a soft play invite.

Not sure why the church comment has riled you so much. 😳.

I was trying to illustrate that people DO plan their weekends in advance since you seemed surprised about it.