school say my son has to be in after his accident

[healingqueen]

I've NCed as this will be outing along with my recent posts.

My ds is 12 and in y8, last week was half term and he went out on his scooter as he does. NO helmet (dont judge I wasn't there - dad didnt make him wear one)

he ended up falling off his scooter at the skate park, someone called an ambulance and hes fractured his wrist and there was a lot of blood as he lost his front teeth, they sort of broke and his bottom ones went into his lip, im not sure if I'm explaining correctly.

there wasnt a lot they could do there and then apart from clean him up and take what was left of the teeth out to prevent infection? im not sure. hes going to have an appointment at a later date to see what they can do for the missing teeth as of course they're his adult ones

It's could've been so much worse and he knows he shouldve been wearing a helmet and I think this will have put him off the scooter anyway. I told him many times about wearing a helmet but if course he didn't listen

anyway hes still got a lot of bruising on his face, school know but has been refusing to go this week. they say this will go about as unauthorised absence and im worried about fines as hes already had days off this year

they say he needs to be in as hes well in himself bar the fractured wrist but he still needs to be in he’d sit out during PE. He is in pain with his wrist and we have a fracture clinic app on Friday to see if that needs surgery too

AIBU to think the school are bu here? hes refusing to go out full stop not just school

Totally agree @SilenceInside why are people being so unkind, does it make them feel good.
Give your son time to heal OP, keep him off school and don’t let the school bully you, they’re probably only thinking of their own stats anyway.

I can't believe the level of cuntiness that's being directed at the OP and her poor son on this thread. Exactly what level of illness or injury would justify having time out of school for a few days in your opinion? "A major accident still isn't a reason to be off...". Have you any idea how barking mad that sounds? What on earth is the point of him going into school when he's in pain, tired and still upset? Who will that serve? Certainly not him! If you can't say anything sensible, far better to be quiet, since you obviously have zero empathy and no comprehension of the level of pain the poor child is experiencing.

Couldn’t have been major then.

have some compassion

I'm waiting for someone to claim they arranged their child's major surgery to take place in the classroom so they didn't miss any school.

You know it's coming.

i had a phone call from the hospital and they booked the manipulation for tuesday , my ex came over to check on ds and he went straight to his room as he didn't want to see anyone but tbh im glad as he wasnt pleased that he will need to get the day off work for tuesday as we have to be at hospital for 7:30 so obviously he needs to take the dc to school and he was complaining it's short notice and he was already off last week when i was unwell and in hospital myself for a few days but even if we were still together he would have to do this so it's not just because we've split? I ended up snapping at him because they're his children too and he barely sees them unless i need him to as in theres no contact schedule and he never has all 5 if he takes them all out like yes theyre different age ranges but i take them to the zoo etc sorry for the mini rant its been stressful and he certainly hasn't helped

probably going to be outing especially if you read my other thread under another username a couple of weeks ago but my 15yo gave birth to her baby 2 weeks ago and she was due to register him tuesday, I wont be able to take her but her dad will so its no issue there but i just feel guilty as i wasnt with her when she found out she was pregnant, i missed the birth due to being unwell (her ex bf and my ex was with her) and i missed helping her during to the early days as i was still unwell and it wasnt just a sickness bug like i originally thought and now this with ds. and there's posts on here about grown women wanting their mums support but ive been unable to give her that. shes coped amazingly and she is understanding about ds etc and they do get on so she isnt angry or resentful but I cant help but feel guilty its just like everything has happened all at once

im sure the judgy posters will judge more based on that especially the “get up earlier” poster from the other day but hey ho i just needed to vent as i wouldnt tell dd that and ex isnt very understanding based on his reaction today

Your poor child - let's hope that this doesn't have serious repercussions on your relationship in the future. Having said that, he's probably used to having a completely unempathetic parent who has little love for him..

What a stressful few weeks you have had. You must be exhausted.

I hope your son feels better soon. Do the school have a Wellbeing Hub/area he can sit in, away from most other children, where he can still be in school but not on classes which may help him transition back in when he is feeling better?

So sorry you’re having such a 💩 time OP.

sounds like your family have been through it. I remember that thread and so glad your daughter is doing ok.

Some posters just like an argument and some want to show off their excellent(?) parenting.

Those saying he should be in school or to get workbooks etc when he’s had a traumatic accident are seriously lacking in any thought or compassion.

it sounds like you’re doing everything you can for everyone. When things have calmed make sure you make time for yourself.

and you are stepping up for your kids. Posters wanting their mums….youre there. You’re present and helping

❤️❤️

I had read your other thread. I hope that things settle down for you all soon.
And get some rest

It sounds as if you have been through a tough time recently. I can remember the post about your daughter.

As someone else has said, I think the key words from the hospital were if the pain was controlled, which from what you have said, it hasn't been most of the week.

Hopefully with stronger pain relief, knowing that they will be treating his arm next week, and that he is on the list for his teeth to be looked at will make him feel better.

It couldn't have been easy for either of you to go into school, but it sounds as if it was the best thing to have done. It ticks the box for engagement with the school which helps both you and them. Also they have been able to see what condition he is in, to put adjustments in place for when he returns.

Hopefully he feels OK to go back Monday. I would totally understand if he didn't want to, but it would get the first day back over with, and school would be able to see what supported he needs on a more practical level.

He would then have at least 2, or 3 days nectcweek- depending on how the surgery goes and pain levels, so would only have a short period in school before he could rest over the weekend.

Hopefully when he does return the staff and pupils are supportive, and he is reassured that he can go somewhere like a wellbeing hub, if he is finding it too much.

Hope all goes well on Tuesday.
Hope you are now fully recovered.
Hope your dd and the baby are doing well.

Have you asked your son if he would be more comfortable wearing a face mask when going out or at school?

He could wear a black cotton one or the blue medical ones. If someone he doesn't know asks why he is wearing it he can just say he has a cold.

Sounds like a good idea but I would be concerned that the moisture created with a face mask wouldnt be conducive to healing and could pose an infection risk..
Also there has been a lot of discussion about the impact of mask wearing on dental health.

I have posted previously because I felt so sorry for your lad. I also read your thread re your daughter and you not being able to be with her when she gave birth. I’m glad all seems to have gone well with her.
So it wasn’t a stomach bug after all? Hope you’re ok now.

What next? Someones kid had major surgery in lunchtime and was back in school that afternoon?

It isn't a competition you know.

I’m laughing at all the people claiming they were in work or school the next day after a major accident. They clearly have no idea what a serious injury is. 😂

Goodness me @healingqueen you’ve had a nightmare few weeks. Take care of yourself and your brood and do whatever is right for your family. For what it’s worth, there is no way my child would in school right now, but if he feels better the week after next, maybe he could try some short days. Don’t let school bully you.

Moisture? It's his inner lip and gums healing.. how much more moisture do you think wearing a mask is going to add to his inner mouth?

Also the mask issues around dental health are around dry mouth which can be directly combated by drinking and chewing gum to increase saliva production alongside regular cleaning. and that is PROLONGED mask wearing, like in medical people wearing them all day.

So which is it? Too much moisture or not enough?

Depends whether he has lacerations in the area covered.

Sorry for the unrelated question, but is the absence only counted as unauthorised/do you only get fined if it’s less than 5 days in one go or 5 days across the whole year?

thank you all, dd is getting on great and im incredibly proud of her but still cant help but feel guilty for not doing more and baby has definitely brought a little happiness during this and my younger one's adore him

ds seems a bit better today pain wise the pain meds seem to be helping and he had been waking at 6 the past few days and asking for calpol and then going back to sleep whereas today he slept in til half 9 so he mustve needed it. he still doesnt want to go out i asked if he wanted to come for a walk to the park as i was taking the little ones and he said no which i am concerned about. I'm unsure if he would wear a mask to school as it might bring more attention to him

Oh don’t be stupid. Just say you don’t agree with the poster without saying that they don’t love their kid. Makes your point of view just sound ridiculous by posting snarky stuff like that which obviously won’t be true.

Thought i’d update as he went in today

I dropped him off after i dropped my younger dc off his HOY met him and gave him the option of going to the library instead of form but he said he wanted to go to form to get it over with, HOY took him to his form and ds said as soon as he walked in he was being asked if he was ok and a girl said “omg” the bruising is still quite bad and he is so self conscious but they were obviously concerned and not being horrible. The HOY told them he will take about it if he wants too and to give him space which helped but obviously not everyone in his year heard it so he got some of the same reactions in his classes and stares

he said the actual lessons weren't that bad he had a laptop to do his work

he didn't eat much of the lunch i packed because he said the canteen was busy and he didn't want more people (also different year groups)to see him “like this”he just ate his yogurt so he was starving this afternoon the library is a zero food rule apparently

he was also upset because he was alone in the library and he thinks that means no one wants to be near him/ seen with him

he said after lunch he started feeling tired and he was in pain, I picked him up at about 2:40 as agreed and he was exhausted and fell asleep in the car (until his siblings were picked up and in the car)

he's nervous about tomorrow he said mainly about the anaesthetic and not the procedure, he won't be able to eat or drink in the morning which he isn't going to like 🙃 he had an early night tonight and i probably should do the same as i have a feeling it’s going to be a long day i’m nervous too but trying not to show it

Hoping he goes down relatively early so it’s over and done with

You sound like such a lovely mum! Hoping all your family get on ok in the next few days, and I think your son did so well to go to school today. Sounds like the school are more supportive now….all the best for tomorrow

It will be better now that the first day back is over OP and kudos to your son for fronting it out. I think this completely vindicates your decision to keep him at home until he felt ready to cope with what must have been a difficult and tiring day. I hope all goes well tomorrow and that his pain is manageable. Get a good night's sleep if you can - you've had a dreadful few weeks too.

I think anyone who sends their child to school on Monday after suffering a 'major' accident on Saturday is asking for major snark - it's hardly a kind or loving thing to do is it?