school say my son has to be in after his accident

[healingqueen]

I've NCed as this will be outing along with my recent posts.

My ds is 12 and in y8, last week was half term and he went out on his scooter as he does. NO helmet (dont judge I wasn't there - dad didnt make him wear one)

he ended up falling off his scooter at the skate park, someone called an ambulance and hes fractured his wrist and there was a lot of blood as he lost his front teeth, they sort of broke and his bottom ones went into his lip, im not sure if I'm explaining correctly.

there wasnt a lot they could do there and then apart from clean him up and take what was left of the teeth out to prevent infection? im not sure. hes going to have an appointment at a later date to see what they can do for the missing teeth as of course they're his adult ones

It's could've been so much worse and he knows he shouldve been wearing a helmet and I think this will have put him off the scooter anyway. I told him many times about wearing a helmet but if course he didn't listen

anyway hes still got a lot of bruising on his face, school know but has been refusing to go this week. they say this will go about as unauthorised absence and im worried about fines as hes already had days off this year

they say he needs to be in as hes well in himself bar the fractured wrist but he still needs to be in he’d sit out during PE. He is in pain with his wrist and we have a fracture clinic app on Friday to see if that needs surgery too

AIBU to think the school are bu here? hes refusing to go out full stop not just school

i don't believe he has been up to doing work and i dont think forcing him is the right way to go about it as hes not being lazy or refusing because he would rather be on devices all he wants to do is stay in his room and sleep. he was a bit more awake yesterday and did a bit of maths that was added as homework as it was a quiz on an app

That isn't healthy though either to withdraw. It might make issues worse long term.

It's your choice but allowing him to do this isn't the one that I'd take.

Kids sometimes legitimately need a kick up the arse for their own mental wellbeing. Being home by themselves allows mental health issues to get worse not better sometimes. And falling behind in school isn't going to help self esteem issues.

I'd agree if it were two or three weeks down the line, but the poor kid had a concussion, and his teeth smashed out less than a week ago, ffs.

He is in pain and wants to, rightly, rest. He's not withdrawing.

@healingqueen Try to speak to your GP about better pain management if he is no better today.

its been a long morning tbh they did another xray on his wrist first and then we waited about an hour to be seen.

the consultant said it is a distal radius fracture and its slightly displaced but not massively. they were hoping it would sit ok in the cast but because of the angle and the swelling going down its moved a little bit since last week so he does need a manipulation under anaesthetic to put it back into a better position. they said because hes 12 and still growing they want it lines up properly. so he needs a procedure but they said its not “major surgery” as such its a short general aesthetic and they reset and recast it. They're trying to get him on the list for early next week and they will phone with the exact date

hes in a full cast still and they’ll likely put another full cast on after the manipulation

re school the consultant said medically he is fit to attend school as long as pain is controlled but he completely understood why he might not want to go yet with the facial injuries he said concussion wise he was happy as long as there’s been no vomiting, confusion or worsening headaches he did say tiredness is very normal after mild concussion and also after anaesthetic next week he may need a day or two again

pain wise they said what hes describing is normal especially now the adrenaline has worn off they’ve prescribed liquid ibuprofen at a stronger dose and liquid paracetamol on a proper schedule rather than just as and when

he did get upset because he felt people were staring at him and he put his hood up and every time he spoke he covered his mouth

we went to the school after and saw his assistant head of year first and then his HOY joined us they were slightly more reasonable than on the phone, ds got upset because he didnt want to go but everyone was in lessons by that point. I showed them the letter about the fracture requiring manipulation under GA and after they saw that they said they will authorise it for this week and whenever the procedure takes place

They said they want him in as much as possible as attendance is important and will be monitoring but he wont be marked late or punished if i drop him off which will be slightly later than the time school starts (but still before 9am and before lessons start most likely) and they have said i can pick him up at about 2:30-2:45 as they understand i have other dc. he can sit in the library at break/lunch, they will fund him somewhere else to sit during PE especially if it involves a ball so he doesnt get knocked accidentally and his work will be printed as he cant write and other lessons will be adjusted where needed (like design as thats practical)

i did mention he was upset about his sister saying he will be used as an example and they said absolutely not and told him if anyone made nasty comments to go and tell someone but told him its likely people will just be concerned and not have bad intentions but he can just tell them he doesnt want to talk about it if that's the case

hes still saying he doesnt want to go in next week and im not sure what ill do as consultant basically said its a parent call rather than medical unless symptoms worsen

hes absolutely exhausted now and gone to bed, i feel a bit better knowing there's a plan for his wrist at least but the anaesthetic is another thing to worry about now

I’m going to say, I think some of the posters on this thread are being deliberately cruel. A child in this much pain, quite understandably from a serious injury, needs rest and recovery. School attendance is not relevant.

i have said that im concerned about him not wanting to go out anywhere, not just school

@healingqueen any update on dental side?

I think the key phrase from the consultant is "medically fit as long as pain is controlled". I think you'll know when he is recovered enough to go back to school - when he is sleeping more normally and when he is not complaining of pain and generally more alert and less exhausted.

I think that perhaps now the school have seen him, and seen the extent of the injuries and how he is in himself, they may back off and actually support you and him.

I also think that getting a plan for the dental issues will help, as it seems like he is understandably very conscious of the damage to his front teeth.

I had an accident like this when I was 9 (similar injury but my top teeth went all the way through my bottom lip - but caused by being purposefully pushed over violently from behind whilst my hands were behind my back).

Both I and my assailant were in school the next day.

@VoiceFromThePit Did you have concussion, have your four top teeth broken and then extracted, and a broken wrist that needs surgery, as well?

Just to add, my incident happened at lunchtime, so the school nurse wiped my face clean of blood mostly and I went to afternoon lessons but looked a mess at hometime when I walked home. Oh and the next day I had two black eyes and a very swollen nose (I suspect it was fractured but nobody checked). Mind you this was the 1970s 😂

My teeth were fine in the end, so I guess your son sounds worse off than me, but you can only go by the medical advice, luckily you got some.

they said the mouth will take a while, they said that there has been a referral to maxfax and paediatric dentistry but it won't be immediate even if it was an urgent referral as they will likely wait for the gums etc to heal and the treatment will only be temporary for now until growth is finished but once he gets the appointments through they should be able to answer any questions as this was only from the fracture clinic.

they did say the bruising and swelling can look worse as between days 5-7 which we are on now but said it could take a while for it to be fully healed and back to 100% how it usually is

When I broke my wrist swivelling around on a sandy path to see a giant grasshopper (!), I had 4 weeks off work as I couldn't write, use the computer, tie a shoe lace, or make a cup of tea.
I remember feeling tired and lethargic, which I believe is the body's way of saying you must rest and recover. I also felt very vulnerable when I tried going on the bus...and that was without the injuries to face and teeth.
I don't understand all the pressure to get an injured child back into school before recovering from a very nasty fall. Both you and he will know when he's ready - ,just trust him and your maternal instincts.
I hope all goes well for him.

Exactly, some on here are downplaying the trauma to the mouth.

Jesus christ, the boy has had a major accident and needs to rest and recover! A few days of school is not going to make a major difference

And how do you get them in the car if they refuse to leave the house?

If your child absolutely refuses how do you force them?

Oh dear. A painful lesson learned

calpol prob isn’t strong enough if had 4 teeth removed - can doctor or dentist prescribe co codimal?

or least nurofen I find is better for pain then calpol

can you look into clip on fake teeth while dentist sorts out / which could take 6mths +

not sure if these are an good but have payment plans starting at £21 a month

https://uk.instasmile.com/pages/products.html

My son had a major accident on a Saturday. He was in school on Monday.

I don’t get this competitive least time off thing. What’s it meant to prove? Well done @RedToothBrush your child is more resilient than the OPs and better at recovering from an accident. How does that help the OP? You are just tacitly accusing the child of malingering and the OP of enabling that. Is that what you think?

Well I feel sorry for your son then.

A child who has lost 4 front teeth, has a mild concussion and a fractured wrist needs to recover physically and emotionally from his injuries.
He will not suffer from missing a few days of school.

I'm not being competitive. I'm saying that a major accident still isn't a reason to be off in itself.

If there are underlying issues that this is exposing such as depression or anxiety over what's happening then address them and engage with the school/doctors about it instead of burying your head in the sand and pretending they'll just go away by themselves is probably a good idea.

It’s a pretty good reason

Did you miss that the Op and her son went in to school today after the consultant appointment and met with the staff at school? How is that burying her head in the sand?

It’s very normal and not the start of depression or anxiety, for a 12 year old to be concerned about returning to school after a major accident that has caused facial injuries. The total lack of empathy is quite astounding from some on this thread.

Well bully for you! When my 12 year old granddaughter recently had a dental operation under GA to extract a second tooth that hadn't descended properly, she was off school for a week. Her face was very swollen and she was in a lot of pain. School didn't say a thing about her absence. Your parents were obviously negligent, whereas the OP is showing a proper level of concern for her son who has been through a horrible ordeal, which won't end until his teeth have been properly restored.