school say my son has to be in after his accident

[healingqueen]

I've NCed as this will be outing along with my recent posts.

My ds is 12 and in y8, last week was half term and he went out on his scooter as he does. NO helmet (dont judge I wasn't there - dad didnt make him wear one)

he ended up falling off his scooter at the skate park, someone called an ambulance and hes fractured his wrist and there was a lot of blood as he lost his front teeth, they sort of broke and his bottom ones went into his lip, im not sure if I'm explaining correctly.

there wasnt a lot they could do there and then apart from clean him up and take what was left of the teeth out to prevent infection? im not sure. hes going to have an appointment at a later date to see what they can do for the missing teeth as of course they're his adult ones

It's could've been so much worse and he knows he shouldve been wearing a helmet and I think this will have put him off the scooter anyway. I told him many times about wearing a helmet but if course he didn't listen

anyway hes still got a lot of bruising on his face, school know but has been refusing to go this week. they say this will go about as unauthorised absence and im worried about fines as hes already had days off this year

they say he needs to be in as hes well in himself bar the fractured wrist but he still needs to be in he’d sit out during PE. He is in pain with his wrist and we have a fracture clinic app on Friday to see if that needs surgery too

AIBU to think the school are bu here? hes refusing to go out full stop not just school

He must have had 5 days off already if this counts as unauthorised absence.

But let me guess. This is an academy. They'd take a corpse propped up in a corner to help their attendance figures.

I think you need a meeting with school about his avoidance of going back but I don't think the school are unreasonable in thinking he should be in. Yes it sounds like a bad accident but he is well enough to attend. I expect some of his reasoning is embarrassment but he will have to face it.

Really hard but if its the teeth could be quite a while before being fixed.
if its the bruising that maybe less bad in a few days/week?
My kid’s friend seems fell in the woods and had a black eye including for school photo day.

he’s probably embarrassed
helmet may not have helped these injuries but obviously could have also or instead cracked skull

If the injury is immobilised and he has proper pain relief there is no reason at all not to go to school.

In my day, it wasn’t uncommon for pupils with broken legs to hobble around the school for weeks until it healed. If they could manage that, I’m sure your son can manage with a fractured wrist.

You can self cert for 5 days...

if you want you can get a sick note from dr.

You need to engage with the school...

I wouldnt want to ge walking out in public with 4 missing teeth.... so I get he doesnt want to go in who would????
I'd prioritise getting that resolved as he is likely deeply embarrassed

Do doctors/hospitals do fit notes for kids?

Can you get him medically signed off?

Different, but I was signed off work for a month when I broke a bone

Sorry but I don't see why he can't go in? Yes sit out of PE (given) but his wrist will be immobilised. Pain is par for the course when breaking a bone unfortunately. Most breaks are referred to fracture clinics as they need to assess after swelling goes down so that is fairly normal.

He's been injured for a week so again I don't see why he can't go to school.

For reference, I speak from a bit of experience. My kid did his ankle very severely (not a roll only) was on crutches and in a boot for 5 weeks. He went to school the next day and took painkillers.

Why is it that you don't think he should go in?

What does he need in place for him to engage with school work?
Is he well in himself?
Is he embarrassed about the teeth?
My boys have loved going into school after injuries - the gnarlier the better.
If the bruising it's what's making him uncomfortable, can you request school work to be accessed from home so he's not missing a whole week off school?

Exactly! With my son they put a plan together around stairs and moving around and what classes to avoid (PE). He was on crutches and a boot for 5 weeks. He managed just fine.

I understand why he wouldnt want to go in, especially about the teeth. I dont want to worry you about this, but my FIL fell and broke his front tooth which they had to take out. He then had to wait 6 months for it to be completely healed before they would put a new one in (he went private so it wasnt that he couldnt afford to have it done sooner).

What has the dentist said about putting in a 'fake' tooth? He might be in for a very long wait if its anything like what happened to my FIL - you may need to speak to your son about this to manage his expectations as he cant not go out or to school until his teeth have been fixed.

He should be in school. The teeth cannot be sorted straight away so he can't stay off until they are fixed, thay would be weeks. You say he is refusing to go but you are parent and at the moment you are facilitating his wish. If he already has a not so good attendance record then the school have some justification for wanting him to return as soon as possible. Yes he will need some time off for dental and hospital outpatient appointments, but there is no way he should be at home until completely recovered.

He's mortified about his teeth. He's 12. He doesn't understand that this is going to take a long time to sort. You're going to have to be straight with him. Better to go in now, all bruised and obviously injured so that people say what they're going to say and then shrug and get on with it - than wait until it's just teeth that are missing and it will look even stranger. (that's my child's advice anyway!)

Poor kid. Hope it's all sorted sooner rather than later. Have you taken him to your own dentist?

What does being an academy have to do with attendance?

Not just academies. Non academy state secondary schools are as tough as that due to the council breathing down their necks on attendance (well my children’s one was)

I feel for him (I imagine he must feel self-conscious, poor kid) but it does sounds like he is well enough to go in.

I can't see how school could advise anything different really.

I'm going to take an opposing view here.

If his teeth have come out and his face is significantly bruised... he's clearly had a horrible fall a real body/face slam. He's probably finding general moving about painful atm. And he's had a real shock to the system. He maybe be worried about being jostled at school. He won't be concentrating much.

I would do as pps have suggested. Ask the GP for a note. Ask the school for some homework and give him just a few (maybe two) more days to get used to it all , by which time it will all feel more normal. It's probably just worry and stress of it all coming back to him.

Could you invite a good school friend round, so that he can get used to seeing them all again and it won't feel as bad when he does go back.

Hope he feels better soon.

If he’s well enough in himself then yes, he should be in. How long does he think he can reasonably stay off?

I can remember one kid in my child’s school being wheeled round in a wheelchair after an accident, although I imagine lessons upstairs were a problem

Surely the GP will write a sick note for this?

Glad he's doling well OP. You don't need to explain about the helmet thing, so many of us drum this into our children but they still don't wear one.

I would ignore the school (they're only thinking about their OFSTED, not you or your son). But, I would tell him that he needed to return next week.

poor little chap. You need to get to the bottom of his reluctance. Perhaps embarrassment, but maybe too PTSD of sorts. Sadly he will need to accept a period of embarrassment and people being unduly focused on his bruises etc. The school sound like they're not being very helpful helping you reintegrate him

From what you describe, OP, of course he should in school. He may be "refusing", but you're the parent, and you decide. Inevitably, once ge gets back to school, he'll start feeling much better.

Rather than thinking about fines and attendance, what's his overall performance like? It sounds like he doesn't go to school often enough and is using this as an excuse.

And is he going out with friends? He can't both be refusing school due to pain and embarrassment but fine to see his mates. That would be pulling a fast one.

I think he should be going to school. Is he doing any school work at home? It could be weeks or months before his teeth are fixed. A broken wrist and bruising are not really an reason to stay home. The longer he stays off the harder you will have it trying to get him to go back.

I also can't see why he can't go in. Why are you keeping him off?

He's a child - he doesn't get to 'refuse' anything without your agreement. Surely you don't agree?