To be sick of misogynistic aggressive male chuggers?

[Bearsdolovetrees]

I work near a major London rail station and get harassed by male chuggers constantly. They don’t take no for an answer, block my path, and walk alongside me even when I’ve asked them not to.

Two examples:

Today I said “no thank you” to a Stop the Knife fundraiser. He followed me, kept asking if I was sure, and when I changed direction to move away he said “wow, what an attitude you have.”

A few months ago a Shelter fundraiser blocked my path and kept trying to fist bump me. After I said no several times, he called me unkind and ‘not a nice woman.’ I complained to the charity and they said they’d investigated and had a word with him, but ultimately, “found no evidence” which is obvious as it’s their word against mine. Am I supposed to film my walk to the station every day?!

This is daily now: young male chuggers using forced compliments about my hair/earrings/dress to try to get me to engage. I’m pretty sure they’re not genuinely into my 50-year-old style — it’s just another tactic. And, yet, they’re always offended when I don’t fawn a thank you and I get some nasty comment.

I’ve tried being pleasant, being rude. Complaining seems to go nowhere. It’s misogynistic and intimidating, and honestly not okay behaviour from men representing charities. What can I do?! What do others do?

I tend to find that as long as I avoid eye contact I can walk past them and they will leave me alone. However, I walk faster than average - and I am in my 50s so probably don't register like a younger more attractive woman would.

If they do make a stupid comment, I ignore them. I do my best to act as if they are not there. Last year my train was delayed and I had to walk past them twice so they made a comment.

The rules are: no eye contact and if you accidentally do, act as if they not there.

I know the job market is hard for youngsters and they must be desperate to do the job, but I am not rude or aggressive, I just don't engage. At all.

Yep, basically this.

Did I mention no eye contact?

No eye contact.

Thanks, Ginger. I didn’t know that. What a despicable bunch of scammers.

Oh god, this is one thing I don’t miss about not living in a big city anymore. We don’t tend to get rubbish like this out in the sticks. Why would anyone want to give away their bank details to a stranger in the street.

You are totally reasonable.

I can usually avoid them by not doing eye contact, looking evil, or saying no-no no.

The one that really got me though was when I was pushing my baby in a buggy. I was so vulnerable. PND, health issues. I’d only gone out to buy milk. I did all the usual and then one of them said “look, there’s something wrong with the wheel of your buggy”. Of course I stopped, my heart was in my mouth, I’d just crossed a road and put my baby at risk. Had I hell, of course it was a lie to get me to stop. I burst out really ugly crying and they walked off.

That was the lowest form of life.

When I worked for a charity, I just used to tell them, at speed, not breaking my stride: ‘Sorry, I work for a charity already and therefore sacrifice my salary as much as I can, but thanks and have a nice day, bye!’

By the time they deciphered what I was saying I was already paces ahead with them in my dust. Used to work very well.

I tend to say no thanks or I've no spare money - but agree with keeping on walking and not engaging.

I agree. When they accost me saying “ you look friendly “ my heart sinks. I think they target women, and I’d also say specifically white wonen ( in the case of the knife crime people). First time round I bought their over priced magazine. Then a few days later I heard a group of black youngsters looking at the chuggers and laughing at their scam, it made me reconsider. Sadly after my father, who had dementia, was ruthlessly targeted by an exponentially growing number of charities he felt obliged to support, I’ve become cynical about the whole charity sector.

I encountered a sponsored walk for Cancer UK, with surrounding chuggers. When I declined to contribute the collector said he hoped I would get cancer. Tried complaining but like other posters have said it's my word against his.

I agree. I’m doubtful that they are desperate. Yes, it’s nobody’s dream job, but my impression is definitely that they get a kick out of being disingenuous and aggressive regardless of the money. If you give money, they’ve forced you to do something that you would not have done but for their tactics. If you don’t give money, they get to mock, insult, or intimidate you. I see it as much more about exerting dominance over women than being a money maker. That’s the buzz.

I was in town with a friend. These chuggers used to sell joke books for £3 for a charity I had never heard of. One approached us once and asked if we had a sense of humour. My friend shot back straight away and said no and pulled me away. She then told me they stopped K she worked with the week before. She told them she had no cash and so they escorted her to a cash machine to withdraw some money.

@Haaaaaaanhere in NI it is the police who license charity collections so that there is only one charity on any given day.
Chuggers though are different as they are not actually collecting money so the rules are blurred. I work for council and where I am have got the enforcement officer out to have a word. They as far as I remember cant do much but gave them so much hassle, asking for all paperwork and taking their time to do it I dont believe we have had any in for a couple of years now.
Small town/city in this case so no doubt easier to police than the likes of London.

I'd be tempted to make some comment to the Stop the Knife ones about whether their "charity" doesn't want me to carry my knife anymore. Ok it's a tiddly pen knife but they don't know that.

Otherwise I'd go all all Father Jack with them and just shout "Arse! Drink!"

Report them to the local authority if the charities themselves are not interested in your complaints. Or even the police on 101 if their behaviour is particularly threatening or intimidating.

I’ve vowed to scream loudly at the next one and draw attention to them harassing me! If you hear it kick off, that’ll be me. Totally hate them.

I had that as well, in Cumbria it was a homeless/ IVDU charity. “ do you have sense if humour “ was the opening line. I bought their mag, I seem to remember it was full of stupid sexist “ blonde” jokes.

I agree.

Interestingly, a little while ago I had a colonoscopy with a sedative and was told not to sign any contracts for 24 hours. Outside the hospital there was a guy signing people up to the hospital lottery scheme. I signed up but I thought afterwards how inappropriate it was. And I hadn't had bad news but you could easily receive some after that procedure.

I was walking through Sainsbury’s recently with a very clearly bothered 3 year old, and it would have also been very clear from my face I was not brimming with joy whilst trying to appease a screaming toddler and abandoning the whole idea of any shopping.
anyway, I walked past a couple of St Luke’s charity chuggers (in the store) who started giving it the “hello sweetheart, this might cheer you up…”, whilst walking in front of my path. I had to say nothing because my only alternative would have been fuck off.
Charities and the shops that allow them in really need to take a lot more responsibility and proper rules on how these people speak to the public.

I just don't make eye contact or acknowledge them in any way. Thankfully the chuggers in my area don't seem especially aggressive and don't try to follow me or block my path (isn't that technically false imprisonment?).

It's not just male ones, when my mother had died and I had had a terrible time with her bank I was walking along actually crying when a female chugger kept on at me, actually staring into my tear soaked face and walking alongside me, she wouldn't go away. Chuggers are arseholes whatever their gender.

We have this at all three waitrose supermarkets. The guys follow you and target you commenting on your shopping. It really puts me off. Particularly bad at Christmas.

Walk a bit faster (if you can), nod at them once like a boss and say "great cause, love it, just donated online , why don't you try him too?". And point way way WAY way back in the direction they came from.
Works a treat, like when you tell a bunch of kids indoors it's snowing just so you can watch them rush to the window even though you know it's not true.

One of the few advantages of being disabled (and there are very few) is that people asking for charity money don't any notice of you! It's like you don't exist. Mind you, I haven't been to London in an age so it might be different there!

I give irritating peeps a psycho stare. People don't tend to bother me as a result, chin slightly down, eyes up and stare, stare keeping staring don't blink stare into their soul and do a very faint smile.
Think Norman Bates in the last scene of Psycho.😉

If you want to say ‘what the fuck are you looking at’ in Japanese I can help?