To be sick of misogynistic aggressive male chuggers?

[Bearsdolovetrees]

I work near a major London rail station and get harassed by male chuggers constantly. They don’t take no for an answer, block my path, and walk alongside me even when I’ve asked them not to.

Two examples:

Today I said “no thank you” to a Stop the Knife fundraiser. He followed me, kept asking if I was sure, and when I changed direction to move away he said “wow, what an attitude you have.”

A few months ago a Shelter fundraiser blocked my path and kept trying to fist bump me. After I said no several times, he called me unkind and ‘not a nice woman.’ I complained to the charity and they said they’d investigated and had a word with him, but ultimately, “found no evidence” which is obvious as it’s their word against mine. Am I supposed to film my walk to the station every day?!

This is daily now: young male chuggers using forced compliments about my hair/earrings/dress to try to get me to engage. I’m pretty sure they’re not genuinely into my 50-year-old style — it’s just another tactic. And, yet, they’re always offended when I don’t fawn a thank you and I get some nasty comment.

I’ve tried being pleasant, being rude. Complaining seems to go nowhere. It’s misogynistic and intimidating, and honestly not okay behaviour from men representing charities. What can I do?! What do others do?

I had it a few months ago with the air ambulance in the supermarket. I said "no, sorry" and kept walking but the bloke shouted after me "I hope you never need us". Yeah, actually so do I.

Awful but just say you already have a direct debit with them and they say thank you & move on

That did make me laugh!

It was so good wasn't it? The hand was not even aggressive, but so effective.

I totally agree. I commute and have learnt to block them now. One tried to stop me by holding my arm and I told him loudly to remove his hand or I would call the police. That made him stop as others started looking. I also had an animal charity tell me I didn’t like animals when I said I didn’t want to talk. I replied I did, they were delicious on toast*

Aside from anything else who decided it would be a good idea to try and stop people in a busy train station during rush hour when they’re obviously going to work/trying to get home which usually involved running for transport? Hardly the way to endear people, no matter what the footfall is like!

*Before anyone starts: I’m a huge animal lover and regularly donate to animal charities of my own choosing.

I tend to say "sorry I'm a heartless bitch" or similar.

It has enough of an element of surprise that you have a good chance of getting away and it slices right through their insincere attempts at connection.

My mum was mid chemo and bald as an egg. She had retained a few eyelashes and eyebrow hairs and was wearing a big warm hat. We were aggressively chugged for… cancer research!
(I did not hold back.)
I also think if we’d been male they wouldn’t have bothered.

Hope you don't need what? An inept aggressive sales person? Because, they certainly don't work for the air ambulance.

Just say No. It absolutely baffles me how many people must actually stop for them to make it a worthwhile job. Surely they’re like MLMs where everyone knows it’s a scam?

me too.

I see hundreds of them in London, all targeting the vulnerable looking then changing into a new charity tabard the next week, I have zero sympathy.

I hate the ones who say ‘for only the price of a daily coffee…’. I hear that somewhere probably once or twice a week minimum. If I signed up to them all it would be the equivalent of 100s of coffees a day 🙄

As soon as they won’t take no for an answer / stand in your way: phone out, start recording - ‘I’ve said no and asked you to leave me alone but you keep harassing me - why are you continuing to harass me?’. They leave you alone or you have the proof you need to complain - particularly if they give you a little misogynistic parting shot.

Also! It’s not only the men, the women are just as irritating.

To any chuggers reading this, WHY do you do this?

Urgh, thanks for reminding me of something I definitely DON’T miss about London! I used to work in Clerkenwell so often got the train from Farringdon or Old Street and dodging chuggers was like an obstacle course. I had a really tight turnaround between school wrap-around-care starting and ending and my work hours, so I was always in a rush. When I once told a chugger that I couldn’t stop to talk because I’d miss my train, he told me to just catch the next one! I asked him for £10 to pay the school’s fine for late pick up but didn’t wait around for the answer. I also used to ask for information that I could take home with me so I could decide and sign up in my own time, which was never popular but at least meant they couldn’t accuse me of not caring about their cause.

I’m shocked about the knife crime “charity” being a scam. I think DH donated to them lots over the years 😱

I dont go out much (except taxi door to door) so I dont get the street people. The door chuggers are a pain in the ass but the doorbell camera takes care of that. Unless you are an expected visitor or a courier with a parcel I dont open up for you, Ive had the odd one accost me in the garden. Not so much collecting but touting for work doing your drive/cavity wall insulation/roofing etc. I just tell them its a rented house and the landlord has their own team of tradies. Not true but they dont know that and they know theres no point in continuing their spiel.

“My family trust fund deals with all my charitable giving - I will be sure to mention your charity in our next meeting” in the absolute poshest voice you can manage and then look down your nose at them.

I just say I already donate to charities of my choice. Which is true.

"I'm sorry, I'm not UK based any more" works well and so does "I not leave here"

I once walked by and and said “No, thank you.” And he said, “Bet you say that to all the fellas!” 🤢

I used to work near a London terminal and the stress of trying to get past aggressive chuggers every day really wound me up. Many of them breach the basic codes of conduct (eg following you don the street). I actually worked in the not-for-profit sector at the time alongside a (non-street) fundraising team, so had a bit of insight.

Mostly I just pretended to be on my phone or told them to piss off, but on my most belligerent days, if they didn’t leave me alone I sometimes did stop and argue with them. My favourites were to ask them to show me their direct debit to the charity or even better asked them if they knew the Institute of Fundraising had done research (think it was 2012, but I bet the stats haven’t changed much) which showed that 90% of direct debits secured by street fundraising are cancelled in less than 12 months, resulting in a net loss for the charity.

So glad I don’t have to face it every day anymore!

I don't like the ones who think they're funny or clever. One young woman asked me where I was from and I said I live locally. She shouted High five for locally! and lifted her hand for me to hit. I cringed and walked away as quickly as I could! Another time a young man, probably young enough to be my grandson, said Can I borrow you for a minute, love?
I said that you borrow things, not people.

I know they're only doing their job but they are bloody annoying.

I shout No! loudly before they have finished the first couple of words.
Like, really shout. I don't care if I look slightly deranged. They don't like it.

I've had some success with totally unexpected responses to their fake flattery. My favourite went something along the lines of:

Male chugger (20s) - 'Hey- I love your scarf!'
Me (mid 40s wearing unremarkable woolly scarf)- blank stare
Chugger (blocking way)- Excuse me Miss, are you by any chance over 18? (with cheeky head tilt)
Me- No.
Chugger- Freezes for a few seconds as he tries to compute how to respond and clearly not prepared for the Old Woman not fawning at the idea of being considered young. Just long enough for me to pass. Then 'Hey Miss! Do you like animals?
Me- continues on my way.

I have no idea why my age was relevant (possibly something to do with them wanting victims to set up a direct debit?).

Head phones and head down. Ignore