To be sick of misogynistic aggressive male chuggers?

[Bearsdolovetrees]

I work near a major London rail station and get harassed by male chuggers constantly. They don’t take no for an answer, block my path, and walk alongside me even when I’ve asked them not to.

Two examples:

Today I said “no thank you” to a Stop the Knife fundraiser. He followed me, kept asking if I was sure, and when I changed direction to move away he said “wow, what an attitude you have.”

A few months ago a Shelter fundraiser blocked my path and kept trying to fist bump me. After I said no several times, he called me unkind and ‘not a nice woman.’ I complained to the charity and they said they’d investigated and had a word with him, but ultimately, “found no evidence” which is obvious as it’s their word against mine. Am I supposed to film my walk to the station every day?!

This is daily now: young male chuggers using forced compliments about my hair/earrings/dress to try to get me to engage. I’m pretty sure they’re not genuinely into my 50-year-old style — it’s just another tactic. And, yet, they’re always offended when I don’t fawn a thank you and I get some nasty comment.

I’ve tried being pleasant, being rude. Complaining seems to go nowhere. It’s misogynistic and intimidating, and honestly not okay behaviour from men representing charities. What can I do?! What do others do?

They have them in the entrance to tesco now as well 😢 can’t even grab a loaf of bread without being hassled.

I just say “I already donate” and keep walking. Most accept that.

Their behaviour is crap. However, other than involving the police if you are feeling very threatened and contacting the charities, then the only behaviour you can change is your own.

This is disgusting - what the hell is wrong with them? I’d have struggled to hold myself back from punching her.

Does anyone actually ever give money to them? I don’t know of a single person who doesn’t think they’re a major pain in the ass.

This sounds worth a try @AnneElliott "I sometimes sign at them to say I’m dead and that usually works" 😂

i say ‘nope’ loudly whilst smiling with headphones in and I speed up and don’t make eye contact. If they do say anything I can’t hear it so it doesn’t bother me

I don’t give to charities for this reason.

They chose to do that 'job' though. No one made them do it. So it's their fault. And yes, I would rather they be on benefits.

It's their employers you should be coming for not the individuals desperate enough to work there. And the charities who employ them.

It's both. But no one holds a gun to their heads forcing them take this on. The system wouldn't exist if no one would do it.

I hate the aggressiveness and even when they see me veering away they approach. Even when I’m with a clearly disabled person as a support worker they try and stop them. They don’t listen when I say I already donate or I’m in a rush. I honestly hate seeing them in entrances ready to pounce

Fair enough. I don't understand why anyone would do that for a job either other than desperation. But you're right. It's their choice.

I just ignore, no eye contact, nothing.
It’s the only thing that works. Once you acknowledge their existence they latch on.

The worse one for me, many years ago, was a woman who, on being advised I couldn’t give her my bank details as I didn’t have my purse with me, offered, in all seriousness, to walk back with me to my office.

They're a fucking nightmare. My worst encounter was some years back when I was hurrying to a hairdressers appointment in my lunch break.

I can't remember which charity the bloke was representing, but he stopped me with "you look like a nice person..." I told him that I wasn't interested, but then he kept standing in front of me with his arms spread out so I couldn't get past saying "I thought you were a nice person..." "so you're not a nice person..." "why don't you want to talk to me? " "I only want to talk."

I asked him if he could please get out of my way as I was going to be late for a haircut. He then started following me up the street, saying that that he didn't believe me and that he would wait for me to see if I was lying! I thought he was going to follow me all the way to the hairdressers, but he did stop at the top of the street, so I thought that was the end of it.

Had my hair cut and unfortunately the only way back to work was down the same street. He came at me again, this time shouting that my hair didn't look any different and what was my excuse to not to talk to him now! It was so weird, he wasn't even talking about the charity, it was like he saw it as some sort of battle that he refused to loose! It was absolutely awful and I became so stressed I started going dizzy and thought I was going to pass out.

For context, I'm a small, visibly nervous, autistic woman and he was massive, smug, shouty bloke. He was smirking the whole time and I actually think he was just getting off on having an excuse to bully a woman.

NeedWineNow Thank you for that phrase, I shall add it to my repertoire. I present as a very respectable elderly woman, nobody expects a response like that from me 😅

Gave an Age UK chugger my best side-eye earlier today. I saw his greeting die in his throat. They're always in exactly the same spot on my local high street and I don't see why I should have to detour to avoid them.

As soon as I read your title I though I bet it's the knife crime guys. They're a nightmare and I am afraid I now just completely ignore them and stomp past.

Yes, these chuggers definitely target women, particularly older lone women - i can still remember the "Dorothy Donor" scandal, it was admitted that they are trained to see older women as easy targets. I do the same as i do to beggars, hand up in front of my face and walking fast away from them, but we shouldn't have to deal with this, goddess knows we have to put up with enough street harassment without this. Some of them will say nasty things to me when they see that i am NOT their prey. As a result i never give to charities that do this. I choose only to give to Age UK, i won't be bullied. "f*ck off" usually works. They seem surprised that older women can swear when picked on.

Oh dear, seems Age UK do do this, i shall have a word with them if this is the case.

The stupid thing is…the chuggers may bring the charities some money in. But they generate SO much bad will against the charities that it can’t be a net benefit.

I know that I get angry every time I think of Shelter after my experience. I don’t think that negative bias will ever go. And it’s evident from this thread that many others clearly negatively remember the involved charities.

They’re shooting themselves in the foot.

I just came back to say the Marie Curie rep who just rang my doorbell informed me that they are payed a wage so are not incentivised by sign-ups, more to inform. He was very nice. I might donate via the website.

Ah that’s good to hear.

I had a horse sanctuary one bothering me once "don't you like horses then?"

told them they were lovely roasted.

remains the one and only time I've thought that fast on my feet...