To be sick of misogynistic aggressive male chuggers?

[Bearsdolovetrees]

I work near a major London rail station and get harassed by male chuggers constantly. They don’t take no for an answer, block my path, and walk alongside me even when I’ve asked them not to.

Two examples:

Today I said “no thank you” to a Stop the Knife fundraiser. He followed me, kept asking if I was sure, and when I changed direction to move away he said “wow, what an attitude you have.”

A few months ago a Shelter fundraiser blocked my path and kept trying to fist bump me. After I said no several times, he called me unkind and ‘not a nice woman.’ I complained to the charity and they said they’d investigated and had a word with him, but ultimately, “found no evidence” which is obvious as it’s their word against mine. Am I supposed to film my walk to the station every day?!

This is daily now: young male chuggers using forced compliments about my hair/earrings/dress to try to get me to engage. I’m pretty sure they’re not genuinely into my 50-year-old style — it’s just another tactic. And, yet, they’re always offended when I don’t fawn a thank you and I get some nasty comment.

I’ve tried being pleasant, being rude. Complaining seems to go nowhere. It’s misogynistic and intimidating, and honestly not okay behaviour from men representing charities. What can I do?! What do others do?

The Stop Knife Crime ones a scammers aren’t they? I’m sure I read they aren’t a registered charity, they're a private company. The audacity of them to hassle people.

All of them are so annoying, they bank on people feeling awkward and responding to reel you in.

Get noise cancelling headphones, problem solved.

If they didn't have a lot of sign ups, they wouldn't be doing it!

You are very naïve if you think they are unaware of the legitimacy of the cause.

So I should spend money on equipment so I can stop listening to abuse?

Maybe I am for that part.

But I don't believe whatsoever that loads of people sign up. Have ever met anyone who has? They get rejected and shunned all day long.

They do it because it's free labour. They're not paying them a wage. It's comission only. That's why there are so many. Not because they all get loads of sign ups. It's no risk or cost to the employer to send them out.

Ricky Gervais had a good reply for chuggers:

I am not excusing misogynistic behaviour?! When did I say anything like that. If they behave that way it's terrible.

I have not witnessed chuggers being misogynistic but I do think they're annoying.

I used to live in a big city and it got to the point where I refused to walk down certain streets as they would just leap out at you/follow you down the street doing their fake flirting

We had these daft 'want to claim compensation for x/y/z?' Even if you'd never used the company

one was for 'if you've used a certain brand of baby wipes,you can claim' another was 'have you had an accident in the last 3 years?
He wasn't happy when I pointed at then baby ds and said 'I had him-can i sue his father?'
He walked off muttering about how I 'wasn't very nice'
(Ds wasn't an accident but I was bloody sick of them)

I went to Liverpool at christmas and we had 4 in the space of a street leap out at us (one almost landed on my dgd in her buggy)

Even now (I moved away from my hometown) i still get them on my way to work-at least 3 times a week
They seem to think its ok to jump out in front of you and follow you down the street-its bloody triggering as a lone woman,minding her own business,just walking down the street

I once went to the shop and was hounded by some woman who seemed to be collecting for some dog charity
I walked away while she was mid way through what she was saying and I got 'well fuck off then you silly cow!' shouted at me

I normally say I dont have a bank account which confuses about half of them but I have had 'Well!I find that hard to believe!'

Believe what you like love,your not having the numbers on the back of it

I don’t get why you’re arguing with everyone? Nobody is against you here.

What they’re doing isn’t ultimately illegal, so if you want them to piss off, you want to get headphones.

I had one some time ago. I had to go to Strensham Services, Worcester.

There was a nasty bloke by the main doors at the entrance, doing an air ambulance. Had a table, various things on it. I was absolutely desperate for the loo, so I basically ran past, and he called out to me, demanding money. I totally ignored him. Then, when I came out of the loo, I went to a shop next to the entrance, and he was eyeing me up. As soon as I came out, he leapt on me again, demanding money, so again, I totally ignored him. He was awkward with other people who walked past without bending down to worship him, too.

As I walked out to my car, he literally left his table and the donation tubs, etc., which he shouldn't have done, and followed me out, actually chasing me up the car park, barking that he wants money and shaking his tin. He was threatening, intimidating and trying to block my path. Literally shouting at me to donate money.

I was absolutely scared stupid. Literally ran to my car and locked it as soon as I got in. Shaking from top to toe. He huffed off, and I could see he was using f-bombs.

I emailed the company, told them exactly what happened, the date and time and so on, but they never replied.

I'll never support that charity.

Tell them you already have signed up with them

And to everyone here saying wear headphones, I hate those things and having things stuck to or in my ears, and I don't listen to music/pods, whatever.

Contact your local newspaper and suggest they send a female reporter?

The point is that what they do borders on harassment, which is illegal. At the very least it's anti social behaviour - causing people, particularly women to dread simply walking down the street.

The OP should be able to go about her business without having to think up ways to deal with these parasites. It just shouldn't be allowed to go on in our cities.

I just say "go away" first time
if they persist i just say "fuck off" and get my phone out to film them. (be careful doing that, though)

The "oh you don't care about children?" i say "i don't give a shit about them"
and once there was a "we help military veterans" so i asked them for money because I'm an unemployed ex soldier and they ran away.

It annoys me that i even have to expend any time saying anything at all to them apart from "no, thank you".

The comments about people using another language reminds me of a former acquaintance who was a senior academic and always dressed the part. He dealt with all annoyances such as chuggers and doorstoppers by saying "Young man, (or lady) I prefer to converse in Latin" . He never met anyone who could do so.

But will any of this be enforced? Most of them aren’t acting illegally, it’s just uncomfortable and annoying.

As it stands, police aren’t coming out because of a bad or awkward experience with chuggers in any case.

Headphones are the answer if you want to get on with your day, just perplexed by OP’s responses. I’d love for them to be banned, the knife ones are scammers, but I don’t think it’s happening any time soon 🫤

I used to hate this when I was working in London. The junction at the top of Cheapside and St Paul’s was where they all seemed to congregate so you could have to run the gauntlet of 3 or 4. I used to walk past looking straight ahead and not stopping for anything. If they did try and stop me, or accuse me of not caring my favourite line was ‘I think you’re mistaking me for someone who gives a fuck’.

I’m not trying to argue with people, but I’m frustrated that many of the responses seem to just involve me changing my behaviour rather than them. Surely there must be some kind of legality around harrassing and abusing women? And some accountability from the charities themselves.

In those circumstances I'd be complaining to the charity who's using them. They are ultimately responsible as they engage the agency concerned. Such behaviour is aggressive. And if the charity tries to brush it off, report it to the police. They may not do anything to start with but if other women are complaining as well, they might send an officer along to talk to them.

It isn't commission only - they have to be paid minimum wage.

It's commission only. The charities sub out the work to 'marketing companies', the companies then operate on a pyramid scheme with companies below them, those on the street are classes as self-employed and only get paid per sign up. It's ridiculously hard work, and really not worth doing it.
For my ethics, I refuse to donate to any company using these to get donations.

We get them at the door a lot and I now say “I don’t donate money to people who knock at the door”. Someone once had the cheek to say very huffily “I am not asking for money.” Oh, I said, what is it you want then? She said “well I am here to talk about x charity” and I said, why? What do you want me to do? This went on for a bit while she tried not to answer, but eventually had to admit she wanted me to sign up to a direct debit.

I did once have a bloke come round from Shelter, who was very nice and not pushy so we talked about the charity a bit. I said I was willing to donate as a one off and he was very embarrassed because of course they don’t let them accept one offs, only the DDs. He told me where to donate on their website, which made me feel he did care about the charity (and I did donate after he’d left).

We don’t open the door, and use the street WhatsApp to make sure no one else does either!

I bet you all the money on earth they are not.

They are a definite menace! I sometimes sign at them to say I’m dead and that usually works, or I tell them that I already donate to their charity.

I like the suggestion of saying my trust fund takes care of that - might try that next time.

I had once from NSPCC knock at the door just after the story came out about their awful bloke in the toilets (much discussed on here). I open the door and say I don’t support NSPCC and he asked me why not. I explained in quite lurid detail and explained that middle aged mums don’t tend to support sexual fetishisation at the workplace and so they’d likely lost supporters. The man was open mouthed and speechless.