To be sick of misogynistic aggressive male chuggers?

[Bearsdolovetrees]

I work near a major London rail station and get harassed by male chuggers constantly. They don’t take no for an answer, block my path, and walk alongside me even when I’ve asked them not to.

Two examples:

Today I said “no thank you” to a Stop the Knife fundraiser. He followed me, kept asking if I was sure, and when I changed direction to move away he said “wow, what an attitude you have.”

A few months ago a Shelter fundraiser blocked my path and kept trying to fist bump me. After I said no several times, he called me unkind and ‘not a nice woman.’ I complained to the charity and they said they’d investigated and had a word with him, but ultimately, “found no evidence” which is obvious as it’s their word against mine. Am I supposed to film my walk to the station every day?!

This is daily now: young male chuggers using forced compliments about my hair/earrings/dress to try to get me to engage. I’m pretty sure they’re not genuinely into my 50-year-old style — it’s just another tactic. And, yet, they’re always offended when I don’t fawn a thank you and I get some nasty comment.

I’ve tried being pleasant, being rude. Complaining seems to go nowhere. It’s misogynistic and intimidating, and honestly not okay behaviour from men representing charities. What can I do?! What do others do?

Normally I just put my hand up and walk past. I might combine it with a death stare - either way, I don’t usually get bothered! But I would never, ever give money to chuggers because they are paid, and thus get a cut of anything you donate. Much better to do it direct to the charity you want to support.

Haven't rtft but I always keep a dead emotionless face and say "I don't speak English" in an incredibly English accent.

Once I told one he was like a date rapist, just wouldn't take no for an answer, he was NOT impressed. Fuck them all.

The knife people sometimes get a ‘l don’t support knife crime - sort yourselves out’ response from me.

but the best way to deal with it is to just ignore them & don’t engage. As soon as you politely tell them no sorry they sense weakness & persist. A f**k off is better than a no thank you.

Or better still ‘go ask a man for money - don’t ask me’ response is another tactic of they ask.

Stop the Knife men should be arrested for whatever offence it is under the Theft Acts. Every last one of them. Hanging about the stations waiting for people who’ve just arrived, often in an unfamiliar city to them, blocking the way. The police should move them on constantly.

Ignore and plot your route through them as you approach - no eye contact and turn your head

another one if I have the time ‘oh I am a big supporter of your charity, I actually already have a monthly direct debit and they don’t really know what to say except ‘thank you for your generosity’

I always say, “I never carry change”…& i don’t! (Or if cornered, I only do charity giving online), but I have quite a loud voice if i want!
Is your route camera free in this particular area??
Maybe wear earphones turned up v loud?

The ones in the street I just dismiss with a "not today thanks" and walk on. Never slow down, don't make eye contact!!

I've had the ones that knock on my door a few times too. Last one I opened my door to was a young, eager uni student who greeted me with a chirpy "Hey there, do you like dogs". I gave a short, curt "No" and shoved the door closed. Felt a bit guilty but he chose a bad time and I wasn't in the mood.

I actually love dogs but I will choose what charities to support in my own time without someone trying to convince me.

I agree with you OP, it is harrassment.

I've complained several times.i an pretty good at ignoring brushing off. One had perched themselves just inside the door to Marks and Sparks and shouted out "oil, young lady " to me. As I am 56 I can only assume I'd find it flattering. He was wrong.
When i walked past him on my way out, he clearly thought i was listening to something on my headphones as he called me a miserable old cow. Nice. He was allegedly representing a veterans charity.
I also had someone I'm sure it was for Great Ormond Street say "so you don't care about children then".
Would they say it to a bloke?
No they fucking wouldn't.

Id complain to the charity commission each time it happened with dates times and descriptions of the people

The clip from the at Ricky Gervais program is popular because everyone feels it!!

I say very loudly ‘I don’t talk to strange men on the street’ and put my hand up

everyone looks and it stops them pursuing me.

I'm going to swot up on some phrases of conversational Klingon before I next go up in March ...

https://klingon.wiki/En/ConversationalKlingonPhrases

Honestly, I do think the young people who do this (and it is almost always young people) are actually pretty desperate. It’s nobody’s dream job. It’s taken out of necessity and then they gradually teach each other the disingenuous and aggressive tricks that we have been discussing because if they don’t sign people up, they make very little money.
I spent years working in charity fundraising (not as a chugger) in the “major donor” which is essentially dealing in donations over 5 figures. It is true though that, at every level, there’s an element of “sales” to fundraising. I was explaining to very rich people why they should support our charity over another charity - why our cause was more worthwhile, why we could be trusted to spend their donation wisely etc. Securing a big donation is not unlike closing a deal - except I am not the one making the money.
One thing I learned and live by now though is not to deal with chuggers because if you sign a direct debit mandate with a chugger it takes an average of 13 months for the charity to recoup what it cost them to get your direct debit. Basically the first year that you are donating, all your money goes to firm that employs the chuggers. Of course, the charities do a full cost benefit analysis. They use chuggers because on balance, the process brings in more than it costs but, if you want to support a charity, donate direct and 100% of your donation goes to them from day 1.

The Turks have a very effective, one-word put-down that strikes deep into every man's shame centre.

   "ayıp!" - pronounced a bit like "aye-erp" for English RP accents

It basically means "shame on you", and covers all sorts of misdemeanors, especially those committed by men against women, from queue-jumping to groping to mugging...

There are so many Turkish speakers in London now, though. Likelihood is that you'd get a fluent torrent of top-notch Turkish in response!

Honestly OP I feel the same way 😞 they do my head in

Can’t stand them. I was running past one so clearly in a rush, tried to stop me I said no thanks, KEPT trying to stop me so I said stop disturbing busy people!

Both male and female btw, they’re all annoying

I say ‘no thanks’ before they even open their mouths. I avoid eye contact and keep on walking. I have no idea if they call me every name under the sun because I’m gone. I am not an assertive person at all, but I’m deeply suspicious by nature and will barge right on past if I feel under siege. If it’s a choice between fight, flight or freeze, I’m flying😅

I agree, it makes me feel stressed when I see them. I ignore them and feel rude as they are just being "nice"'

There’s another thread about this exact same thing. Farringdon station by any chance?

You could always use their misogyny against them and say your husband handles your finances so they'd have to ask him.

I wonder what they'd make of that

They're in breach of the Fundraising Regulators code for street fundraising
Public fundraising | Fundraising Regulator There is amongst other stipulations, a 3 step rule.
You can/should complain to the charity involved but can also report to the Regulator here Complaints and investigations | Fundraising Regulator

I hate it, they are on commission contracts so will do/say anything. The next week they sling another tabard on from another charity and continue their harassment.

I am really good at looking through people. Chuggers find it very off-putting - they can't understand why I can't see them! Very effective.

Problem with saying that you don't carry cash is that, where I am, they are decidedly NOT interested in cash. They want to take your credit card details on the spot for a monthly commitment! And they get arsey when you say "no, but here's a 20 euro note". They ALWAYS refuse the cash, and continue to press for the credit card!

I tell them "you can't be that keen on fundraising if you can't accept cash donations".

They annoy me no end. I also do street crossing - or I did until they got the brilliant idea of posting a person each side of the street. Now I weave in and out of the road.