Have you ever had a friend that you just never heard from again?

[BeBusyBird]

No big fallout. No dramatic ending. Just one day they stopped reaching out, didn’t respond to your calls/texts and that was it. Did you ever find out why? Did you try to reconnect or did you let it go?

As someone who is 25 plenty. Though one explained why they'd ended the friendship and shat on me as a person.

Yup. A friend from my cancer support group. We were good friends and then when I moved overseas and we were obviously in less contact, she just dropped me. Has hidden me from seeing her social media posts although we're still officially friends.

I'm living back at home now and still crickets.

I think she was offended in some way but I still don't really know why. I've let it go. I'm not going to force it if she's not interested.

Happened to me, I was gutted as I thought we were good friends. After a few months I texted asking if things were ok, she replied saying sorry for not messaging and there was no excuse for her not being in touch. She asked me to go for a drink, I said ok and then I never heard from her again.

Upset me massively at the time as there was no falling out or dramatic event or anything, I can only assume she just didn't want me in her life for reasons unknown to me.

I'm over it now but it took a while. Sometimes I think losing a friend is worse than losing a boyfriend!

Yeah. Two friends last year (which was one of hardest years of my life, incidentally).

I last saw them both at a birthday party. One didn’t thank me for the present I bought for her son, or respond to my text wishing him a happy birthday, on his actual birthday, a few days after the party. That was in July. She’s ignored my son’s birthday and my birthday since. No idea what I’ve done to be completely cut off.

The other friend only messages on birthdays now. But decided not to tell me she was pregnant, nor when she had her baby. Which, seems odd as before she stopped talking to me, we were talking about her wanting a second child and I said I really hope it happens for her. No idea why she then decided to keep it from me. It’s fucking weird.

Yea but I found out a while later it was a third person dripping poison and lies into her ears. Did me a favour I guess as if someone doesnt trust me theres no point them being in my life but I was very sad at the time.

This used to upset me a lot. But I have lots of other lovely friends. And there's always family. Friends come and go, but family is for life.

I've lost - very good friend from school who I kept to close contact with when we were at college. This was 40 years ago.

This friend also dropped the other 2 school friends she was close to when she married and moved away. Last time we saw her, was at her wedding. The strange thing was she was very good about sending thank you letters for birthday and Christmas gifts. But we got nothing for following her wedding regarding the wedding gifts we sent. This was way back when not sending thank you cards after a edding was highly frowned upon. Tried contacting her via her new address and later on her parents - but absolutely nothing. Was very upset at the time, still am.

I have over the years tried to find her - Friends Reunited (remember them?), Facebook etc but nothing. Sounds a bit stalker-ish I know.

Two women on the school run-both had husbands,I was a single parent

We where really good friends,had a laugh together but I noticed they where slowly starting to try and control me

Things like not buying the kids new shoes (bragging that they got the grandparents to buy them) treats for the kids ('youve bought some sweets for the kids?what a waste of money!') how their parents babysat whenever they needed them to (mine refused so these two decided i hadnt asked properly) 'helping' choose a new washing machine ('its only £700!I know your budget is £300 but surely you can find the rest?') or how I should use each room in my house (I did not want to use my lounge as my bedroom)

I was very vulnerable at the time and these two women knew this but would use me,like paying for their coffees in a cafe or using me to do the school run for them

Then one day-nothing

They didnt show up to my dds 7th birthday party and snubbed me in the street

I just carried on with my life without them and was just fine so they teamed up and unleashed a massive smear campaign thats still going on to this day,15 years on

I even moved away and they are still at it

About 4 years ago my ds had some issues with his ex and put up a status on FB about her

I wrote something about 'kangaroo courts' and to keep his head up-one commented in a sly way (designed to pull me down,as I knew what the context was but to anyone reading it,it wasnt)

She harvested about 15 'likes' before deleting it and I've not heard from her since

It was so fucking childish and im glad to be away from the pair of them

No, but I've been that friend that stops responding. A couple of lads started getting a bit Andrew Tate so I decided to have nothing to do with them, so did quite a few mutual friends.

Yes, having it now, cant possibly think what i've said or done, probably nothing to do with me but last 3 attempts to meet up have been blanked so i'm going to accept the message and leave her to it 🤷‍♀️

Had a few when younger where friends would absolutely disappear off face of planet when got a new boyfriend. Only to reappear and "must catch up" 18 months later when had split up. No thanks.

Yeah. Loads of times. It happened a lot before social media. I've one very close friend who's stopped speaking to me though. No idea why, no argument etc. so I'm sad about that. If she came back I'd be delighted. In fact I'd be happy to hear from most long lost friends.

yes - i drifted from my best friend who i lived with at the time (didn't see each other face to face due to moving back to family's home in covid and her being at her boyfriend's). we never had a big fall out but i heard from others that she spoke about me quite unkindly. i never knew why. i was going through a lot in my personal life and didn't feel in the right place to ask her.

she reached out to me a year or so ago and wanted to meet to clear the air but i didn't feel like i wanted to speak to her so just said i hoped she was keeping well but didn't want to meet up etc.

I couldn’t make my friends hen party (was on maternity leave with a breastfed baby and I was super broke) hen was abroad

she told me it seemed like I didn’t give a shit about her wedding or her hen and she made an effort for mine and why couldn’t I just pump milk and come.

obviously I couldn’t come

then I never got an invite to the wedding in the end(I did get a save the date earlier in year - but actual invite never arrived - then she blocked me and never heard from her again 🤷‍♀️

Yes, after more than a decade of friendship and she was even sponsor to my daughter at her confirmation.

I drove for over an hour on many occasions after she moved away. One time, she cancelled our planned visit saying she was ill, and then posted on Facebook having her friend over for Sunday roast on the day we were due to be with her. I didn't get in touch again after that, and she never followed up either.

It's a shame.

Yes, three that come to mind, and they're all sad.

One was friends, a couple, who suddenly went silent when I started dating women. They'd made a big thing of how accepting they were; one of them identifies as bisexual, but didn't approve at all. Oh well.

The second one is sad - she was a chaotic, funny, flaky woman; she'd had a rough divorce and struggled as a single mum, and she got preyed on by men who turned out to be abusive. I was pretty supportive of her and she was, TBH, rubbish when I needed support, so I was slightly drawing away from her. We worked together and one day she got caught up in this ridiculous drama (not at all of her making!) where a customer and our boss's partner both blamed her for something that wasn't her fault. She spent hours being yelled at and it was horrible. She went home and had what I understand was some kind of minor stroke. She did recover fine but, understandably, gave up on that job. Lots of us reached out to her but she seems to have completely drawn a line under it. What worries me is I still don't know whether she just couldn't face anything to do with that job (which I would understand) or whether her controlling partner, who didn't like her working, used it as an excuse to get her further isolated from people.

Third one - we had a friend who suddenly went silent; she'd become very ill and we only found out when she died as her parents hadn't known who to notify.

Yes a very good friend (or I thought so!) , we were friends for 7 years, support each other through lots of ups and downs. I considered her one of my very best friends.

One day she just stopped messaging me. I tried really hard to get back in touch, reached out to mutual friends etc.

It’s been 10 years and I still find it upsetting.

Clearly I did something wrong but I’ve never been able to find out what.

Yes quite a few. People move away, change jobs, get on with their lives. It isn’t personal. Not everyone is good at staying in touch

Yep my best friend, we honestly raised our kids together as single mums, went on holiday, spent most weekends together.
When l moved away after meeting a new partner after 20 years she basically stopped replying to anything.
I go back to our home town quiet often, as my son lives there, l met her once for a meal it was like nothing had changed had a great night, then she never replied to any messages again.
My partner was very seriously ill last year in Hospital for 6 months, she absolutely knew and didn't even send me a message. I still have no idea what l did to her apart from move.

Yep a few times.

Most recently, one good friend didn't wish me a happy birthday - this was in 2020. We have the same birthday month, and hers follows mine by a few weeks. But that year, nothing. I'd last wished her one the previous year. So when hers rolled around, I reciprocated and didn't message her.

THREE YEARS later she texts me as if nothing had happened, declaring that she and her boyfriend (I didn't know she had one, she was single up until the time she started ignoring me) were coming up to stay with me!! The absolute bare faced cheek! She knew I'd moved up, just before we last spoke, to a much prettier part of the UK, and in fact we get a fair few people inviting themselves up.

Needless to say I ignored her and we never spoke again. It was clear she'd fallen off the face of the earth because she met a guy, and I don't have time for people who only speak to me when they want something.

Yes a friend kept doing this too me and
The last time she apologised and said she was sorry for letting the friendship go so I met up with her again but after a few months I found it was me again phoning her,and she never took the initiative, so I had enough deleted her off Facebook etc
Than just before the pandemic she contacted my sister saying we should all go out with her and her sister who was also a friend
I refused point blank she kept asking my sister about it but I just said there was no point, I haven't seen her since .

I got back in touch with a friend I'd worked with when we were both in our first teaching jobs - we'd been good friends but then had both left, moved away, she'd had a family etc. Facebook brought us back together and she's visited a few times since then. She rang me more than 3 years ago, very upset about issues with her marriage (I knew him well, too) and we messaged quite a bit after that. I suggested meet ups and she seemed keen, but then stopped messaging me.

I recently sent her an email to reach out - no reply whatsoever. I'm utterly clueless about what I might or might not have done or why she's apparently just dropped me like a hot potato. We're both in our late 60s!

Yes has happened to me. Once a whole group (about 6 people) just "abandoned" me. I'd met them all on a single persons holiday and thought we were good friends - our kids were friends too. They stopped inviting me to group get togethers and just stopped talking on our group chat (they'd obviously started their own without me).

Separately another supposedly good close friend suddenly blocked me one day. Found out she'd blocked multiple friends at the same time not just me.

Both times hurt a lot at the time as it was at a time I really needed a good friendship group. Now years later I feel just "meh" about it all.

Yes. My best friend from school. After she got married she moved to another country and we used to write to each other every couple of months or so (this was in the early 1980s). Then I realised that I hadn't heard from her in a while, so I wrote again but no reply. I think she had changed addresses but if she had sent me details then I had never received them and she never wrote to me again. So we lost touch, sadly.
I've often wondered whether something had happened to her.

Yes, twice (but not at the same time!). Both very good friends for 10+ years, the kind where you've shared a house, been on holiday, supported thru a divorce kind of thing.

One was more a slow drift, the other was much faster (all normal in Feb, silence by Jun).

Im not aware of any major faux pas, maybe there was one and my obliviousness was the issue, who knows.

I have respected their decisions and left them to it. No hard feelings, I'd be happy to see them again if they chose to get in touch.