Forgot to take my friend to her hospital appointment- how do I fix this!?

[MamaBee22]

First time posting so please bare with me..

I forgot to take my best friend of 20 years to her colosopy appt. We'd arranged for me to take her and stay with her/bring her back, but the date changed to half term. No childcare and hubby at work so I still offered to drop her off and pick her up. She mentioned a few days prior and I said yeah no problem still good to go.

Fast forward to the day of appt. My DC has a chest infection so had to get her a drs appointment and being completely truthful it just slipped my mind. I didn't realise until it was too late and she text me saying have you forgot?

Obviously I went into panic mode and no deflection, I own my mistake and there's no excuse I shouldn't have forgot. I'm only human and it just slipped my mind. I apologised and said I understand why she'd be cross but let me know how it went.

I'm am a dependable friend 99% of the time. I am the most constant person in her life (she's single) and have never let her down before.

She ignored me for a couple of days and then sent a text saying how pissed off she was, people always let her down and its a difficult thing to forget and she doesn't want to talk about it.

Apart from giving her space, is there anything I can do to fix this? I feel sad to loose my friend over a stupid mistake.

Sadly she can be known to use silence as a form of punishment and has definitely tried to make me feel as guilty as possible. Obviously I can take that on the chin, it is my fault, but I have a horrible feeling she will continue to bring this up long term.

Thank you

I totally agree with this . The replies are so over the top and dramatic . It’s a bit of a hurtful mistake but god it’s a slip up and friends are allowed to slip up! We don’t know if this lady is a good friend to OP or if it’s the OP doing all the caring - which to me is what it sounds a bit like.

Prioritising her child's breathing is actually more important IMO.

I’m another in the camp “you forgot, you’re human, these things happen”.

If I were your friend I’d have at least phoned or messaged you the morning of to make sure you were still available, not made it your sole responsibility!

Leave it now, to err is human, we all do
it at times.

You can’t do anymore.

She now knows that OP was dealing with a sick child, so she had good reason to forget.

To err is human!

If only there was a way to read the OPs updates!

It was a mistake, it happens. Also your child was sick.

I wouldn’t hold it against you.

I think the hospital usually advise that there's someone with the patient to get her home so ordering a cab wouldn't have been enough.

It was a genuine mistake which she didn’t give you chance to fix.

Shes being a dick IMO.

It would have been fine here as it was a colposcopy

Look.
We all make mistakes. We all f**k up, big time and small time.
To err is human, to forgive, divine.
If you have genuinely apologised, then let it go. Put it down.
Give it perhaps 3 months, and if she hasn’t contacted you, get in touch and invite her out for lunch or cocktails.
There are, sadly, people in our lives who will hold grudges for a lifetime - and you need to be prepared for that.
If your friend cannot find it in her heart to forgive this one error, then you must learn how to move forward in your life without her.
Tell her again how very sorry you are and then put it down.
Don’t carry this burden by yourself.
This is a lesson for you to never make a commitment to someone - anyone - without following through.
❤️

How did you forget something so important. That's unforgivable. I think if you were my friend that would be it for me. You clearly have too much on your plate to make a promise and then drop your friend and blame childcare without even considering her.

It's not like meeting fir s cuppa and last minute childcare causes a problem. That's easy to rearrange as long as you didn't make a habit out of being unreliable.

I would give your friend some space. In future, don't make promises for something so important thst you easily can forget. It's not fair on the other person.

You have a sick child, of course that would be the priority.

She should have sent a reminder text that morning. That's what I do.

I don't think a gesture is enough. The damage is done. It was a medical procedure that her friend missed because of her inability to prioritise. With a friend like her I wouldn't need an enemy.

It was because her child was unwell and getting worse, ended in more antibiotics and steroids for the child asthma.

Not a good experience and very frightening, have you ever experienced that?

Not sure why you think it’s a childcare issue, OP was intending to take the children with her.

I think OP has said a lot that she realises it’s serious. Not sure why you’re acting like she doesn’t care.

She didn’t miss it.

Try reading the updates?

Did you not tell her your child was poorly? Maybe she might of been more understanding

This. Surely you had some conversation the night before etc to check arrangements. It was also her responsibility to check you were coming. You have said sorry. The silent treatment drama she is giving you really isnt necessary. Probably no going back from this.

'Colposcopy' not coloscopy. People were thinking you meant 'colonoscopy' which is up bum, not per vagina.

I hope you can repair the relationship.

So you think that OP should prioritise her friend over her poorly child?

She said she forgot. If she has issues with children's health then why take on the responsibility of getting her friend to her own medical appointment for a procedure? You can make as many excuses as you want. She needs tonprioritiese her fsmilynin thst matter and stop being an unreliable friend and letting her friend down. It's called being an adult.

Send her a nice bouquet of flowers or buy her some and take them around with a heartfelt apology. If she invites you in ,thats a start! If she is cool or unpleasant. Then you make your final apology and leave. After that its up to her whether she wants to remain friends or not. You messed up! You try to put it right. You are not a bad friend ,you are just imperfect. Like the rest of us on here. Good luck with it.

Why don’t you read the OPs updates it explains all of that for you.

Of course not. You just proved my point. She has a child with a chronic illness and so she shouldn't be making plans to help her friend when a medical emergency a step away for her child. She shoild have said no, sorry I can't and then the friend could have found a reliable alternative person to gwt her to and from her appointment. All of this was preventable.

So let me get this straight: she got there anyway. And then you offered to pick her up but she was in a major huff and is giving you the silent treatment. And you have been there for her 99% of the time?
I’d KILL to have a pal like you.
I’ve never had someone willing to regularly step up for me.
And if I did, I wouldn’t give them the silent treatment if as a one off, they dropped the ball. Jesus. Talk about no good deed going unpunished. Does she do much for you in return or is this a one way street with you giving and her taking?
You sound really lovely.
I bet she’ll be back when she needs something else done and she finds how rare it is to have someone be as good to her as you are. Truly wish you were my neighbour/friend.