Page 11 | Forgot to take my friend to her hospital appointment- how do I fix this!?

MamaBee22 · 2026-02-22T14:28:48+00:00

First time posting so please bare with me.. I forgot to take my best friend of 20 years to her colosopy appt. We'd arranged for me to take her and stay with her/bring her back, but the date changed to half term. No childcare and hubby at work so I still offered to drop her off and pick her up. She mentioned a few days prior and I said yeah no problem still good to go. Fast forward to the day of appt. My DC has a chest infection so had to get her a drs appointment and being completely truthful it just slipped my mind. I didn't realise until it was too late and she text me saying have you forgot? Obviously I went into panic mode and no deflection, I own my mistake and there's no excuse I shouldn't have forgot. I'm only human and it just slipped my mind. I apologised and said I understand why she'd be cross but let me know how it went. I'm am a dependable friend 99% of the time. I am the most constant person in her life (she's single) and have never let her down before. She ignored me for a couple of days and then sent a text saying how pissed off she was, people always let her down and its a difficult thing to forget and she doesn't want to talk about it. Apart from giving her space, is there anything I can do to fix this? I feel sad to loose my friend over a stupid mistake. Sadly she can be known to use silence as a form of punishment and has definitely tried to make me feel as guilty as possible. Obviously I can take that on the chin, it is my fault, but I have a horrible feeling she will continue to bring this up long term. Thank you

Knittedanimal · 23/02/2026 14:52

Also, i didn't mention tge nature of my own procedure: they did have to burn stuff off. Like i said, it wasn't fun, but it didn't warrant roping a friend in to take me.
I appreciate this might be different for others, but I can only speak from my own experience, as above, ad infinitum....

jeaux90 · 23/02/2026 15:10

Iloveacurry · 22/02/2026 15:13

It was a genuine mistake. Your child was unwell and you just forgot. Personally I think your friend’s reply is a bit dramatic and over the top.

Bloody hell. You know you have to have a controlled diet for several days AND take really strong laxatives for two days which basically gives you horrendous diarrhoea for about 48 hours.

The thought of then having to do that AGAIN plus the anxiety of the actual procedure but sure….the friend is being dramatic

Livingmagicallyagain · 23/02/2026 15:12

If I were your friend I’d completely understand! A sick child is so stressful and it’s understandable everything else on your plate that day slipped your mind. Honestly! Ideally you’d have texted, even last minute, to say your child was unwell but your child had to be your priority either way. Hope your child is feeling much better. Take care of yourself too!

And I’ve had appointments like your friend as was fine to attend alone!

Livingmagicallyagain · 23/02/2026 15:15

I don’t think people are reading the updates? Your friend made her appointment, and it was a gynea appointment (relatively routine - I’ve had the exact type, just to try to get more cells if a regular smear didn’t quite get enough, or perhaps a CN1 reading?). No prep needed beforehand.

Megifer · 23/02/2026 15:16

jeaux90 · 23/02/2026 15:10

Bloody hell. You know you have to have a controlled diet for several days AND take really strong laxatives for two days which basically gives you horrendous diarrhoea for about 48 hours.

The thought of then having to do that AGAIN plus the anxiety of the actual procedure but sure….the friend is being dramatic

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It was a colposcopy. No prep required apart from a shower (not mandatory but probably preferred by the consultant)

goldylock · 23/02/2026 15:18

Knittedanimal · 23/02/2026 14:50

Why the horrid smug tone?
Here's a forum in which people offer their own experience to respond to people with dilemmas. OP has had alot of people berating her for being distracted by a sick child from a favour to a friend.
Whilst I am of course aware not everyone's experience is the same, my understanding is a colposcopy is an exploritory procedure, and, if further treatment us needed, a more invasive procedure may be required. I am happy to be corrected on this.
Speaking from my own experience, and that of my friends, the OPs friend would not have needed support to get to and from the appointment, and, as such, may be laying the guilt on a bit thickly. I waa trying to help assuage some of this guilt, as the OP is obviously feeling bad.
I do get tired of the tone people jump to on this forum, we all have our own experience/advice to offer, there's no need to be so agressive.

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I think yours was the horrid smug tone.

Youve no clue what you're talking about. But paint everyone having that procedure with the same brush.

Have a look at yourself first.

Womaninhouse17 · 23/02/2026 15:26

TeachWithMissM · 22/02/2026 14:40

i think as much as you didn’t do it intentionally, this has probably had a huge impact on her. A colonoscopy is a really really unpleasant and scary experience, and the hospital needs to know who will be collecting you in order to allow you to be released. I can imagine that her having to scramble around last minute to try and find someone to get her there and pick her up was a huge stress at an already very stressful time. She is totally within her rights to feel hugely let down by this as it happened at a time when she really will have needed support. There is nothing you can do to change it now though, so give her lots of space and apologise sincerely when the time is appropriate.

I'd just like to say that a colonoscopy is not necessarily a scary experience. I've had two and although I was nervous and it's not something I'd choose to do again, it wasn't very unpleasant and it didn't hurt. Also, because I opted not to have sedation (I just had gas and air instead), I only had to wait for about half an hour afterwards and was given tea and biscuits, and then I was allowed to drive myself home. I understand that many people prefer to have someone with them though.

goldylock · 23/02/2026 15:29

Womaninhouse17 · 23/02/2026 15:26

I'd just like to say that a colonoscopy is not necessarily a scary experience. I've had two and although I was nervous and it's not something I'd choose to do again, it wasn't very unpleasant and it didn't hurt. Also, because I opted not to have sedation (I just had gas and air instead), I only had to wait for about half an hour afterwards and was given tea and biscuits, and then I was allowed to drive myself home. I understand that many people prefer to have someone with them though.

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The OP wrote colonoscopy instead of colposcopy, which are 2 very different procedures.

She never bothered to correct it in her post (or couldn't edit). Only OP knows.

If not bothered, I think the OP has an answer to her post.

Womaninhouse17 · 23/02/2026 15:30

Knittedanimal · 23/02/2026 14:50

Why the horrid smug tone?
Here's a forum in which people offer their own experience to respond to people with dilemmas. OP has had alot of people berating her for being distracted by a sick child from a favour to a friend.
Whilst I am of course aware not everyone's experience is the same, my understanding is a colposcopy is an exploritory procedure, and, if further treatment us needed, a more invasive procedure may be required. I am happy to be corrected on this.
Speaking from my own experience, and that of my friends, the OPs friend would not have needed support to get to and from the appointment, and, as such, may be laying the guilt on a bit thickly. I waa trying to help assuage some of this guilt, as the OP is obviously feeling bad.
I do get tired of the tone people jump to on this forum, we all have our own experience/advice to offer, there's no need to be so agressive.

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You are given the option of sedation for a colonoscopy (though don't have to have it) and if you have been sedated, you are not allowed to drive home and are told you need to be accompanied. Also, although it's exploratory, it's not pleasant and it's quite invasive. People are understandably nervous and many prefer to have someone with them for moral support before and after the procedure

AmyDudley · 23/02/2026 15:39

goldylock · 23/02/2026 15:29

The OP wrote colonoscopy instead of colposcopy, which are 2 very different procedures.

She never bothered to correct it in her post (or couldn't edit). Only OP knows.

If not bothered, I think the OP has an answer to her post.

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what she actually wrote was 'colosopy' a non existant procedure, she then changed that to 'coloscopy' another non existant procedure. On the third attempt she got it right. ,So it is understandable that people were confused about which particular similar sounding actual procedure her friend going to undergo, and also understandable that people may think that she's not actually that interested as she doesn't seem to know what procedure the friend was having.

Megifer · 23/02/2026 15:50

AmyDudley · 23/02/2026 15:39

what she actually wrote was 'colosopy' a non existant procedure, she then changed that to 'coloscopy' another non existant procedure. On the third attempt she got it right. ,So it is understandable that people were confused about which particular similar sounding actual procedure her friend going to undergo, and also understandable that people may think that she's not actually that interested as she doesn't seem to know what procedure the friend was having.

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Op clearly did know what procedure as she mentioned the smear test. It was just a typo or not knowing how to spell it. But you know that.

Knittedanimal · 23/02/2026 15:59

Womaninhouse17 · 23/02/2026 15:30

You are given the option of sedation for a colonoscopy (though don't have to have it) and if you have been sedated, you are not allowed to drive home and are told you need to be accompanied. Also, although it's exploratory, it's not pleasant and it's quite invasive. People are understandably nervous and many prefer to have someone with them for moral support before and after the procedure

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Colposcopy not colonoscopy.
Someone really ought to come up with different terminology as the names are too similar!

Dozycuntlaters · 23/02/2026 16:02

Look, it's not great that you forgot, of course it isnt but bloody hell, it was an honest mistake and you've apologised. It's ridiculous giving you the silent treatment and punishing you for it. If I had been her I would have messaged you the night before, asking if it was still ok for you to take me. In a way it's like setting you up to fail, especially if your kid has been ill and it was half term.

Stop apologising, you've said sorry, you tried to make amends. I get it must have annoyed her but if you two are really good friends she must know you well enough to know there was no malicious intent and it was just a mistake.

Original poster

MamaBee22 · 23/02/2026 16:21

Thank you for the further replies. I tried to reach out again today seeing if she wanted to talk but no reply again so nothing else I can do right now. We've always had a close relationship, as do our kids, so speak or see each other at school nearly every day, so I know it is her choosing to ignore me.

I couldn't edit the post, and then made a typo in my second reply. It was a colposcopy. I think it's a bit harsh to insinuate I don't care because I don't know the procedure or couldn't be bothered to edit it! I do, just made a grammar mistake and couldn't edit my original post.

OP posts:

AmyDudley · 23/02/2026 16:28

Megifer · 23/02/2026 15:50

Op clearly did know what procedure as she mentioned the smear test. It was just a typo or not knowing how to spell it. But you know that.

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No I don't 'know that' that's why I and others asked OP to clarify. Because there are 2 similarly named terms it could have been and since they are rather different the onus was on the OP to be accurate. But she wasn't; consequently many people were confused. But you 'know that' don't you ?

ForAmusedHazelQuoter · 23/02/2026 16:29

MamaBee22 · 23/02/2026 16:21

Thank you for the further replies. I tried to reach out again today seeing if she wanted to talk but no reply again so nothing else I can do right now. We've always had a close relationship, as do our kids, so speak or see each other at school nearly every day, so I know it is her choosing to ignore me.

I couldn't edit the post, and then made a typo in my second reply. It was a colposcopy. I think it's a bit harsh to insinuate I don't care because I don't know the procedure or couldn't be bothered to edit it! I do, just made a grammar mistake and couldn't edit my original post.

Edited

I would leave it for now.
Obviously it’s not great that you forgot but these things do happen especially when you have your own stress such as looking after a sick DC.

Noshadelamp · 23/02/2026 16:29

Sadly she can be known to use silence as a form of punishment @MamaBee22

Known by whom? You? What other situations has resulted in her silence?

What I'm wondering, is there a pattern of you letting her down?

Fyi silence can also be the need for space, boundaries, processing hurt feelings.

Knittedanimal · 23/02/2026 16:34

goldylock · 23/02/2026 15:18

I think yours was the horrid smug tone.

Youve no clue what you're talking about. But paint everyone having that procedure with the same brush.

Have a look at yourself first.

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Did you not read the several instances where I wrote 'in my experience'?
And again, to be told I know nothing.
Fuck off.

goldylock · 23/02/2026 16:37

Knittedanimal · 23/02/2026 16:34

Did you not read the several instances where I wrote 'in my experience'?
And again, to be told I know nothing.
Fuck off.

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Showing your true colours now...

Knittedanimal · 23/02/2026 16:38

goldylock · 23/02/2026 16:37

Showing your true colours now...

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Likewise

Megifer · 23/02/2026 16:38

AmyDudley · 23/02/2026 16:28

No I don't 'know that' that's why I and others asked OP to clarify. Because there are 2 similarly named terms it could have been and since they are rather different the onus was on the OP to be accurate. But she wasn't; consequently many people were confused. But you 'know that' don't you ?

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Erm, well, yes, i do know that you know it was a colposcopy and it was a typo/misspelling 😂

Regardless, if the issue is op forgetting the appointment, then surely it doesnt matter if it was a colposcopy or a colonoscopy.

goldylock · 23/02/2026 16:39

Knittedanimal · 23/02/2026 16:38

Likewise

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Am not the one cursing at someone else.

As suggested already, have a look at yourself first.

Megifer · 23/02/2026 16:40

MamaBee22 · 23/02/2026 16:21

Thank you for the further replies. I tried to reach out again today seeing if she wanted to talk but no reply again so nothing else I can do right now. We've always had a close relationship, as do our kids, so speak or see each other at school nearly every day, so I know it is her choosing to ignore me.

I couldn't edit the post, and then made a typo in my second reply. It was a colposcopy. I think it's a bit harsh to insinuate I don't care because I don't know the procedure or couldn't be bothered to edit it! I do, just made a grammar mistake and couldn't edit my original post.

Edited

Oh leave her to it op. She's being very silly and immature. Maybe shes got other stuff going on and is latching on to this. Who knows. Youve apologised, nothing more you can do. Her loss and im sure she'll be back in touch when she needs something 😬

PrismRain · 23/02/2026 16:49

MamaBee22 · 23/02/2026 16:21

Thank you for the further replies. I tried to reach out again today seeing if she wanted to talk but no reply again so nothing else I can do right now. We've always had a close relationship, as do our kids, so speak or see each other at school nearly every day, so I know it is her choosing to ignore me.

I couldn't edit the post, and then made a typo in my second reply. It was a colposcopy. I think it's a bit harsh to insinuate I don't care because I don't know the procedure or couldn't be bothered to edit it! I do, just made a grammar mistake and couldn't edit my original post.

Edited

You have done what you can OP. Just let her have her space for now. It may take her a little longer to process, reflect and be able to move past it. That isn’t a character flaw and is not an invitation for others on here to start slagging her off, despite not knowing anything about what the actual true intention behind her silence is. There are some really horrible people on here who will now use this as a further opportunity and justification to make shitty comments about your friend.

TheCompactPussycat · 23/02/2026 16:55

Just leave her to get over it (or not). People are fallible. You didn't intend to let her down and you've apologised. End of. If she wants to lose a friendship (and a taxi service) over this, that's on her.

If I was her, I would have messaged you in the morning to check that everything was still as planned. I don't expect people who are kindly doing me a favour to have nothing more important going on in their lives beyond running round after me.

Buy yourself some flowers and leave her to get over herself. Don't apologise again until she apologises for her childish behaviour. You've done nothing wrong.