Embarrassed myself at friends wedding.

[SimpleSingle]

I went to a friends wedding a month ago. Had too much to drink, and fell asleep in the toilets. I was found by one of the bridesmaids who helped me to my room. The next day, everyone was joking about it.

I am mortified. I have 3 children and im 40 years old. I feel so much shame for getting myself in this state. It keeps popping into my head and I feel that awful feeling in the pit of my stomach! What an embarrassment I am.

I don’t really know what I’m hoping to get out of this post, but I am alone with my thoughts and feeling awful about this whole thing. I socialise with this extended group every 6 months or so, and I’ll be seeing them again soon, and I just don’t want to go. My friends parents all know etc. Will I ever not feel so awful about this???

I think the bridesmaid was unfair to tell everyone and make it a joke . How mean!

Dear me. What ridiculous standards you have for yourself. Do you find that you have those standards for others too?

Have you posted about this before, OP?

I understand why you are feeling embarrassed but honestly everyone else will just think it's funny. There are much worse things you could have done. Life is for living - you had a good time and sometimes we all drink too much but you didn't have a fight, cheat, throw up, take over the dance floor or do any number of things that are much worse, falling asleep is quite tame really

You’re being way too hard on yourself. So you fell asleep. You weren’t in charge of young kids, I assume?

You didn’t strip during the speeches, you don’t shag anyone, you didn’t start a fight… There are many, many worse things you could have done.

What makes you feel embarrassed so long after? Sounds like you have high standards for yourself. What would you say to a friend if they told you this story?

I don’t understand what being a mother has to do with it. Regardless, it’s no big deal - you need to get some perspective.

So you had a few wines and had a nap in the toilet- I am struggling to see the issue, unless you do it every week?

Are your friends all that strait laced and petty that they have never ever done anything vaguely funny before whilst drunk?

Just tackle it head on and as others have said style it out…. I thought you were going to say you stripped or snogged the groom or something!!! This really isn’t anything to worry about 😀

When you see your mates again, just style it out. ‘Oh, I know, too much to drink, silly me. Don’t worry, I won’t do that tonight. So, shall we order?’

i promise, nobody will think badly of you for this.

Give yourself a break OP, you fell asleep! You didn’t come onto the groom, throw up on the bride or punch the MOH! It’s really not a big drama

I honestly cannot see any issue with this (unless your children were left unsupervised which I feel is highly unlikely).

Falling asleep seems pretty tame tbh - I’m not saying it needs to become competitive drinking but there will be plenty of people who did worse (and even then likely in the bounds of normal occasional behaviour).

Don’t let this mar your memories of a lovely occasion you otherwise enjoyed.

Honestly, check out the thread on bad behaviour at weddings - you'll read about some really shameful episodes of fighting, theft, destruction, shagging people you shouldn't - falling asleep in the toilets is mild! Stop beating yourself up about it. 😀

A couple of months ago I fell asleep in the Lyceum theatre watching the Lion King! I missed pretty much the whole second half! I woke up at the end and clapped. I blame the bottle of red wine and the fact that it was actually quite a boring show 🤣

My children weren’t with me, just to be clear. Neither was DH. I let my hair down too much, and also rarely drink. Ended up doing shots. My memory of the night is fuzzy.

Oh it could have been worse OP. This is the sort of harmless “got too drunk” story that no one really minds. It’s funny. You didn’t hurt anyone, you didn’t spoil anything. You’re fine.

@TheChosenTwo I could have written this post!

I was never a really crazy drinker, but in my 20s and early 30s we’d all go out on Friday/Saturday nights, pubs, maybe clubs, weddings, birthdays etc. I never did anything outrageous, but as I got older I found that the first thing I thought when I woke the following morning was “did I embarrass myself?”. I’d play through the evening in my mind, wondering if I’d been too loud, looked stupid on the dance floor, flirted in an embarrassing way, told unfunny jokes, offended anyone, and so on. Combined with hangovers, that worry after a night out made me decide it wasn’t worth it.

I’m late 50s now, and I barely drink at all, maybe 5 units per year. I used to enjoy that feeling of disinhibition, but I hate it now.

Is this a stealth boast?

Standard wedding behaviour. You're a legend now. At least you didn't flash your boobs or anything (which is more what I was expecting to read).

This.

If there was a thread for "Embarrassing things you've done when pissed" I could probably fill half a page just with my own experiences.

Falling asleep on the lav at a wedding wouldn't even get close to making the cut!

Forget it OP. Your weren't dancing naked/coming onto the groom/shitting on the dance floor 🤣

Yep, as others have said, definitely not that bad! Just make a joke of it - gotta get my naps in when I can!

Yeah, this exactly.

You went to a wedding, you had a good time, got a bit squiffy and fell asleep in the loo. I would have been happy that you enjoyed it and were relaxed, had it been my wedding although there are better places to fall asleep.

I must add here that in my early 20's we went to a 21st party at a nightclub, I was well drunk, went to the toilets and fell asleep on the loo too. No-one found me, I woke up at 5am and set the alarms off in what was an empty building and was greeted by the police who thought it hysterical. It spread round my family and friends like wildfire, you just have to join in the humour.

I can more or less guarantee that something else kicked off at the wedding that will eclipse you and if you are referred to, it will be with humour and not horror or distaste.

I fell asleep at the table at a wedding once. It was my first proper going out after my second was born; drinks were hugely free flowing; I didn’t recognise how much I was drinking. And I was knackered and over excited at being out. One of my best mates sat next to me and tried to spoon feed me between naps. I woke up post food and enjoyed the rest of the night.

The grooms thought it was very funny; and it’s still bought up - despite the fact that they’ve both divorced and remarried!

its a fun, lighthearted memory: and even at the time was no more than a light embarrassment. I wonder if you hold yourself to unrealistic standards: mums are just people ….

I agree, forgive yourself OP! I have a wedding coming up and I can imagine one of my friends doing this - yes we would joke about it the next day but not in the sense of being appalled by it, it would just be a funny thing that happened and that we'd remember fondly!

Oh come now, I think should should step back from the drama and martyrdom. You had fun, had a bit much to drink, and fell asleep. That is a bit embarrassing but not really anything to dwell on.

As for failing your children, what nonsense. To fail as a parent you don’t feed them, clothe them, meet their needs, you are neglectful, dangerous, abusive. You did none of those things.

And also, of your DH had done this, would he be stewing on in 4 weeks later thinking he had failed as a parent? Of course not.

You won’t find many parents of children who haven’t had a few too many drinks on a rare night out and dozed off.

I mean the following kindly: stop stewing on this nonsense and pull yourself together.

If a man got drunk and fell asleep in the loo and had to be rescued by his friends he would probably not give it a second thought - beyond a bit of a laugh next day.

Oh, OP, give yourself a break! Weddings can be tricky like that - there is a lot of waiting around, a lot of alcohol being offered (and a bit of pressure to accept and be convivial) at times of day you wouldn't usually drink, with often only tiny canapés to sustain you and the substantial food cones too late!

You fell asleep - people do far worse! I also tend to fall asleep these days after one too many!