To be upset that young women feel they have to mutilate themselves like this

[LandOfFruitAndNut]

For context ‘young’ in my book is anyone under 35. I am in my 50’s. Very much old crone territory and thankfully no amount of procedures could improve my bog standard appearance. Thankfully as I am over 50 I really couldn’t give a toss.

So - AIBU to think that any level of plastic surgery is unnecessary except for medical reasons and to be particularly upset that young women think they need it?

Young people are beautiful. Full stop. They are young, have fresh skin, bouncy hair and ooze youth. Why does society tell them that making their bottom extra round or their lips extra puffy will improve their lives immeasurably?

Because it is society. I don’t buy the ‘doing it for themselves’ for one minute. If it was just for them they wouldn’t be posting images of the new improved them over the internet usually with the support of some down lighting and a smoothing filter or two.

Is this yet another issue we can lay at the feet of the patriarchy or is the concept of beauty so skewed anyway that I should stop getting so exercised about it and go back to my knitting?(societal stereotype of 50 something woman for dramatic effect. I prefer decoupage)

Is it bollocks

It isn't, though. Kids aren't beautiful, a lot of them are quite grotty.

Totally agree that people who have botox and fillers don’t look younger- they just look like they’ve had botox. It’s a very generic look and so many women are starting to look the same. Smooth shiny faces, big lips and no expression. It’s sad that there is always so much pressure for women to feel they need to achieve ‘perfection’.

I watched Crime 101 today in which some overweight bearded man said she looked too old. It was the only bit of the film that I thought was far-fetched!

As someone who has been both (the attractive part only up to a point but "good enough")... Yes.

Haha that's why she was in my mind. Although I do reckon some creeps would be like him. We've all had stunner pals devastated by some remark by a cretin

I’m chuckling at some of these comments because several of the attributes posters are talking about, many have naturally without needing to have work done and are not the OP’s equivalent of being ‘young’.

Being a young adult with it all before you. Having young skin and young bouncy hair and the general joie de spirit of youth is beautiful.

cardibach ‘better’ for me is continuing to look as close to I did at 40. I looked good at 40, not entirely impressed with what the fucking menopause has done to my face.

Menopause face was very sudden for me, slackness, greyness, glow of any youth gone, creepiness everywhere and deeper wrinkles.

if you’re used to looking one way and within about 18 months - 2 years you very suddenly look like your (dead) mother it’s quite a shock

i’m Happy with my Botox and acid injections (won’t have filler, tried it once looked fucking stupid on me) but I notice now I’m in my mid 50’s I’m having the treatments less as my head has caught up with the natural decline now

It comes to something when there's skin care products aimed at 3year olds.
Get them young and hooked on products.
Definitely not required.

You do realise that people like you gushing on about youth being beautiful, and all this guff about bouncy hair and 'glow' are contributing to a culture where women in their late 20s and early 30s often consider themselves too old to be attractive? And perhaps a thought for those young women not blessed with fantastic hair and skin and natural beauty?
I'm sure you think you're doing a 'good thing' here. But by fetishising youth like this and waxing lyrical about the appearance of some young women who fit your ideal, you're just contributing to the very thing that drives women to procedures in the first place.

Oh and skincare etc…. I recognise the same in my DDs as I did myself as a teen. I don’t think it’s pressure per sae, but the have all the time in the world to research and no financial responsibilities. I tried some creams recently I thought were useless at 24, and realise they are brilliant- on old skin 😂 they did nothing for me at 24.

Agree. "Oh I'm 39 now, my time is done and I live through my 13 year old. HER COLLAGEN!"

Shiver.

I’m now 44 and have been getting Botox since I was 37, (so sadly just over your arbitrary age cut off to be considered young), with the first treatment just before my wedding in August 2019.

After never having any skin issues, including as a teen, I came off the pill in my early 30s to try to conceive. Cue awful spots, hyperpigmentation and ultimately melasma in a number of areas on my face. Sadly after a number of years with no fertility success, I went back on the pill and focused on improving my skin so I could feel confident again, especially with my upcoming wedding in mind.

I spent a fortune on various skincare products (including prescription strength tretinoin and hydroquinone) as well as professionally administered chemical peels to reduce the discoloured areas and improve the general texture and tone of my skin. Whilst this did hugely improve things, I was still very conscious of the remaining problem areas and this included a long, deep frown line right across the middle of my forehead in which any foundation I wore to cover blemishes / even out the dark patches would gather and look awful; both in real life and in pictures.

After some thought, discussion with my DH and lots of research on the right, properly qualified and experienced practitioner, I opted for Botox so I wouldn’t end up looking back on my wedding photos and fixating on my big frown line. I was so pleased with the results that, except for during the Covid lockdowns, I’ve been having Botox treatment ever since, usually about 3 times per year.

For me, it makes me feel so much better about myself and how I look and that confidence boost is worth every penny. I’m not getting into debt to pay for my treatments, if asked I will freely admit to having Botox and the personal positives for me, but would never browbeat or push anyone to get it done and I currently have no plans to have any additional treatments or procedures. I’m happy with where my skin is now - I’ve got a consistent, effective skincare regime including prescription tretinoin, prescription azelaic acid, K-Beauty serums etc and complimented by my Botox injections every 4-5 months. That said, perimenopause is now starting to hit, so I’d never say never to having other treatments or procedures if I should want them in future.

I appreciate it isn’t everyone’s cup of tea and don’t think any less of others who choose not to have any procedures done, nor those who opt for more “radical” procedures and treatments. Societally, women have always been under pressure to conform to the beauty standards of the day, but let’s not forget that these standards have changed and morphed constantly over the centuries. In fact, you only need to look at the recent trend on Beauty related social media where content creators are comparing the current 2026 preferences on make up style for minimalistic eyes, dewy skin tint, tinted lip oil, a flush of blush, against the full cut crease eye looks, the liquid lipstick, full coverage matte foundation, heavy contour and drawn in brows style that was popular in 2016…and that’s only going back a decade! I wouldn’t be surprised if in 50/100 years, beauty standards and preferences do a complete flip - history would certainly suggest that’s the case.

Simply put, I think it comes down to personal choice and respecting everyone’s right to make theirs. If there’s a lesson us “oldies” should be teaching those sub-35 year old youngsters, surely it’s that they have autonomy over their bodies and there shouldn’t be any judgement about the choices others make with theirs. Confidence is so individual to each of us, and is often such a fragile thing; can’t we try to just live and let live?

Nope. I’m below average. I’ve always had a shit ton of fun. Maybe because I don’t give a fuck about my appearance?

funs subjective though I guess

This is so untrue!

i guess I’m more struggling to understand why people care. I guess if you look like your mother it might be a shock. But aging happens. I read a lot about sudden menopause face on here. I’ve never seen it in myself or any of my friends.

Bizarre to be so upset about something that doesn’t effect you.

I am 34 regularly get Botox filler etc. all because I am a big girl and I want to. I like the way I feel after it.

I have also never posted pictures online of the new and improved me 🤣

Well, I go out a lot, I travel a lot, I laugh a lot, I enjoy new experiences….none of these are affected by appearance. ONS aren’t my thing but I doubt they are either. What fun do you think a few wrinkles are precluding?

Bingo. Plus it's clearly bitching under the guise of concern, gleefully joined in by three-quarters of the thread.

I voted YABU, not because I particularly like the look but because it’s not for anyone to cast this level of judgement on someone else and women in their 50s are not crones

Old in crone terrority I'm 51 and I'm far from this thankyou.
I do care about my appearance as I want to look healthy and well not just give up because you think 50's is old .. wtf .
Don't understand the mutilating from anyone of any age to be honest.

I can't agree with you there.

I've been watching women do stuff to themself for 55 years since my early teens.

In that time the patriarchy has got weaker and weaker, women are rising higher and higher at work, more and more women are choosing not to have children and be homemakers, coercion/stalking/wife rape have all been criminalised, women are working at traditionally male only jobs etc etc

Yet young women today are doing more and more things to alter their appearance. Lip filler must be contagious.

It seems to me that it's got a lot worse with social media and that women are competing with women, not gaslit by any patriarchy.

Are you sure? (Actual picture of me obvs)