To be upset that young women feel they have to mutilate themselves like this

[LandOfFruitAndNut]

For context ‘young’ in my book is anyone under 35. I am in my 50’s. Very much old crone territory and thankfully no amount of procedures could improve my bog standard appearance. Thankfully as I am over 50 I really couldn’t give a toss.

So - AIBU to think that any level of plastic surgery is unnecessary except for medical reasons and to be particularly upset that young women think they need it?

Young people are beautiful. Full stop. They are young, have fresh skin, bouncy hair and ooze youth. Why does society tell them that making their bottom extra round or their lips extra puffy will improve their lives immeasurably?

Because it is society. I don’t buy the ‘doing it for themselves’ for one minute. If it was just for them they wouldn’t be posting images of the new improved them over the internet usually with the support of some down lighting and a smoothing filter or two.

Is this yet another issue we can lay at the feet of the patriarchy or is the concept of beauty so skewed anyway that I should stop getting so exercised about it and go back to my knitting?(societal stereotype of 50 something woman for dramatic effect. I prefer decoupage)

Lol! I dont know whether to feel upset or not. I'm joking but that's the thing, I do feel young! I'm certainly not old.

My teenager was getting ready for a party last night and I was thinking about the topic of appearances. It's such a different world now. There are cameras everywhere you go, young people take so many photos and upload them online. Dd went to a ball recently and spent the next day groaning at a succession of photos she was tagged in that she hadn't even been aware were being taken. When her boyfriend cheated she knew as it was happening because girls were taking photos and sending them to her. Everything they do ends up on Snapchat whether they like it or not.

All that is to say I don't blame them for putting so much thought into their appearance. It's tough out there.

we live in the age of the individual, and ‘beauty’ is a gateway to opportunities and choices, financial security, upwards mobility etc.

You seem quite a black and white thinker, that you deem all of youth to be beautiful, and yourself an old over the hill witch who’s past it. That patriarchal attitude is the exact reason why people may wish to halt the approaching path of time.

I’m not a fan of people belittling others choices as being less intelligent or enlightened than your own.

Oh there is - there was that and the odd facelift

now it’s so more prevalent - don’t people moan on here about people
om benefits even getting their Botox and lips done !

it’s hit men now as well with the beefed up muscle that is not needed - not plastic surgery but male boob job!

I have never been more grateful that I don't see "youthful" as any more beautiful than an older face. I am forty, my face has lines that show a life of joy and smiles, freckles left by lovely family beach holidays. I'm okay with that

We need to remember how to appreciate older faces and bodies.

I can't quite square your distress at societal pressures on young women whilst using the obnoxious phrase "old crone" and insulting two posters in your subsequent responses.

Well let’s not perpetuate that - beauty leads to opportunity

and one way to do that would be to change the direction of how things are going

I agree @LandOfFruitAndNut . The number of young women in their 20s that I see on Instagram having fillers in their totally wrinkle free faces is bizarre

What I don’t get is the number of girls, as in under 18s who seem to look about 30.

I genuinely don't think my ordinary forty year old face (i don't wear makeup...) is any less "beautiful" than a 28 year old with microbladed brows, filled lips and heavy makeup. My mum is 73 and looks it and she's gorgeous.

I think a happy face full of love is beautiful. There are a lot of young women at my work who are doing all sorts to their faces, they don't look happy or fulfilled!

So bizarre - this funny dolly look - hideous - always reminds me of the old “trannies” (sorry slur)

I don't think 35 is young to have these procedures, 25 different matter but I don't think thee procedures are necessary whatever age but each to their own.

I can agree with you on a personal level, goodness knows I would love radical change across any number of societal issues (capitalism, patriarchy, religion) however I don’t think there is anything wrong with a young person accepting the reality of the world they exist in and making pragmatic choices.

The thing that bothers me about this is how much money they are spending on skincare and Botox. Life is so expensive now. These things take off because people are making a lot of money from it, influencing the influencers who then influence those who are less confident in themselves.

A couple of things:
I do think that all youth is beautiful. Not everyone is classically beautiful but that to be young is to have a sort of beauty that doesn’t require much augmentation. It makes me sad that young people don’t inherently know this.

Youth is truly wasted on the young.

I refer myself as a crone in jest and as an attempt to subjugate patriarchal constructs. I appreciate that my humour is an acquired taste but also that it has undergone no artificial manipulation. I am (in the humour sense as in all senses) Botox and filler free.

I completely agree with you OP.

But I want to add that I don't the think it's society in general, oddy it seems to be other women who put this pressure on them. I have a DS who is 20, and I've chatted to him about this and asked him whether all his friends have girlfriends who do this, and/or whether all men in his generation thought it was attractive. He looked at me as though I was mad and said, 'Hell no! We all think it's nuts, we just want women to look like natural women.'. And it's true that any of their girlfriends I've met haven't looked like they've done anything more than dye their hair a whacky colour, which was heartening...

Not all cultures across the world are so individual and the same

i definitely don’t want to live in a world where this is a pragmatic choice - gosh what a life sentence for the young

the thing for me is that all this attention on the outside neglects the inside

Using horribly ageist language is never cool.

Pre teen girls are buying anti aging skin care products.

I'm over 40. I have botox, lip fillers, cheek implants and marionette fillers. I will be having a fat graft into my top lip in the next year.

I have a cleft lip and palate. Half of my top lip is missing and my face is droopy without filler. I've been having them about 20 years. I've also had 3 'cosmetic' rhinoplasties. A fourth scheduled for the time of the fat graft.

Do I get a pass on mutilating myself? My self esteem is on the floor as it is so I'd rather do anything I can to feel a little more human without the extra judgement.

I agree I don't see this in my DC's circles tbh they all look like my generation did so late nineties early 00s young people, no plastic surgery at all!

It depresses the hell out of me that the two young women in my hair salon, aged 18 and 20, inject their lips. Of course it looks awful, like all lip fillers do. But it’s their age that makes me sad. Thankfully my 21y girl and her friends don’t do this stuff. They have so many other priorities, that messing around with their faces doesn’t feature in their lives. Young women are gorgeous and should not feel pressure like this.

I am 55 and also don’t feel the urge to inject myself. I am probably lucky as am ageing pretty ‘well’ but I don’t think I would be reaching for the syringe, even if I was ageing more visibly. Maybe this has positively influenced my daughter, I don’t know.

Define ‘better’. I’m 61. I accept I have good genes but I don’t think artificially young is better than old.

I think it’s appalling. I’m late 40s and wear zero makeup, hair dye, no skincare, nothing. I wash my face in the shower. My 18yo knows very well that she does not need to do any of that.

we live in the age of the individual

It's ironic then that those who really go in for the tweakments all look like the bloody same.