To be upset that young women feel they have to mutilate themselves like this

[LandOfFruitAndNut]

For context ‘young’ in my book is anyone under 35. I am in my 50’s. Very much old crone territory and thankfully no amount of procedures could improve my bog standard appearance. Thankfully as I am over 50 I really couldn’t give a toss.

So - AIBU to think that any level of plastic surgery is unnecessary except for medical reasons and to be particularly upset that young women think they need it?

Young people are beautiful. Full stop. They are young, have fresh skin, bouncy hair and ooze youth. Why does society tell them that making their bottom extra round or their lips extra puffy will improve their lives immeasurably?

Because it is society. I don’t buy the ‘doing it for themselves’ for one minute. If it was just for them they wouldn’t be posting images of the new improved them over the internet usually with the support of some down lighting and a smoothing filter or two.

Is this yet another issue we can lay at the feet of the patriarchy or is the concept of beauty so skewed anyway that I should stop getting so exercised about it and go back to my knitting?(societal stereotype of 50 something woman for dramatic effect. I prefer decoupage)

I know a 19yo who gets Botox for her apparent wrinkles.

I absolutely hate it, it makes me so sad.
So many say they regret it later on.

Whenever I watch old movies or videos of people, I am always shocked how beautiful they are - then I realised it’s because they’re real and don’t all look similar.

I love natural teeth. I have never seen turkey teeth that look attractive - it looks like someone has drawn them on. Teeth aren’t meant to be perfectly straight and white like that.
Give me a man with longer canines or a girl with a gap in her front teeth.

Even something like the series friends for example - they had real teeth, real hair, real boobs, real lips etc and they look amazing for it.

I am not against people getting things done but it’s sad that everyone wants to look identical to everyone else.

It used to be that you do something on one particular area but now it’s multiple things even if you don’t need it done and it’s now almost seen as just something that everyone does from the age of 16.

Yes, it sucks.

However, to add my take, botox injections hurt and its uncomfortable not to be able to look down for four hours after. Fillers, more me anyway bruise for up to a week so if I didn't need to, I probably wouldn't bother.

A good practitioner should also be assessing 'need', and general er, blendability as at the end of the day we all just want to look nice. My lady is very good and won't overfill anything. I have my lips done at the hospital, they won't touch anywhere else as they say that its 'cosmetic'.

For every good practitioner out there, there are bad ones who will inject filler meant for men's jaws into young women who just want a little bit of a lift. That's not helping anyone really.

Also - social media is a scourge upon the earth for making people feel less than or inadequate. I can see why there is a drive toward 'skincare' and filler.

"For context ‘young’ in my book is anyone under 35" christ, I'm positively wizened then @LandOfFruitAndNut 😂

Kardashian’s came first, then social media came along a blew those lips, bums and boobs up and off the stratosphere for every girl to copy. I have a teen daughter who is gorgeous without makeup up, but she feels the pressure from her female friends to all have a certain style. Horrible fake lashes, overly made up face, especially the lips and for god’s sake padded butt cheek knickers! It blows my mind, not to mention that they all look exactly the same except for hair colour. I keep hoping she will grow out of it, but as long as there’s TikTok and social media, young girls are going to get sucked into it and no amount of cajoling from her old mum is going to change her mind. Damn those Kardashian’s 😕

I've had Botox since I was 33 (so for the last decade and a bit) and it definitely improved my now face. Don't do it if you don't want but having a bit of a say in how we look is a good thing.

I mean it’s each to their own isn’t it, I guess.

But I personally dislike that women who do a lot of fillers, big lashes etc tend to have a homogenous look that you can spot a mile off. It’s getting harder to tell women apart!

and I do wonder whether fillers etc will make their faces age in the long run. It can’t be healthy to keep inflating lips unnaturally

So I played that game for a while on Facebook where people upload photos for others to guess their age. It’s silly. However, I came to a resounding conclusion that age and beauty are totally different things. You can be young and look like a dog’s dinner, despite all the collagen etc. On the flip side, there are people who might be considered old at 60+ who are just so stunning, despite the ravages of time.and I don’t mean those who have spent a bomb on surgery and treatments: I mean people whose faces are very naturally attractive.
Some people are a great deal more physically attractive than others - it’s in their genes. Most of us are somewhere in between of course, but there was a lot of currency in that game to ‘winning’ by garnering guesses below biological age. Some people did look young, but that didn’t mean they looked good. They just looked young.
Im not sure the binary poles of ‘youthful’ and ‘old crone’ are helpful or even true.

My DD (19) spends a lot on skincare/creams. Leading up to her A levels, her skin had several really bad acne outbreaks and she was constantly looking for things that would help/remedy it.
After probably a year, her skin was great...no idea if it was due to retinol/reduced dairy/the pill....it might have cleared on its own.

Im.pretty lazy about skin care i only put moisturiser on if I remember (maybe once a fortnight) but she is religious about spf, drinks lots of water, and uses various creams which so far seems to be working ok

It’s not judging individuals but judging the society that makes these individuals think that such tweaks to their appearance are necessary and an improvement to their natural beauty, and the society that doesn’t appreciate aging showing in our appearance.

I am not sure how you make a statement without defining your terms. The terms are only ever going to be a guide.

For any debate there will be exceptions but the well understood opposites of ‘young’ and ‘old’ and ‘natural’ and ‘unnatural’ are ways of expressing the issue. It’s all relative. To my mind the beauty of youth is an absolute and it saddens me what little currency it has.

I think it is the patriarchy. That generally goes for lots of beauty trends and fashion too.

Women who say they do it for themselves have absorbed societal ideas of what beauty and sexiness looks like. It’s almost impossible to completely resist the subconscious conditioning because we’re bombarded with it from a young age, and never more so than now.

There’s nothing worse than a woman who looks old. The horror!

Our screens are full of plump lips, smooth, shiny foreheads and puffed-up cheeks. That’s the standard women are expected to live up to.

We’ve forgotten what it is to embrace the beauty of women as they age. And it’s becoming ever more extreme which is why even young women are worrying now about any tiny sign of ageing showing on their face.

On one hand I agree that what other women do to themselves is none of my business, but on the other hand, it perpetuates the harmful belief that ageing isn’t ok and women should always strive for youthfulness. So for that reason I do object to Botox, fillers etc, because it contributes overall to the pressure women are subjected to in society.

I’m 50 and I’m ok with the fact I look a bit older now. My focus is on trying to help my body stay strong and fit as the years pass.

oh I don't have natural beauty. I properly mang as a youth. Botox and fillers make me look better, not younger. You'd guess I'm early forties but a nicer early 40s. Society doesn't forbid me from minging I just prefer life when I don't.

Isn't that just ageism?

@LandOfFruitAndNut
But you know the saying about :youth being wasted on the young" surely??

I'm 39 and have no interest in fillers, botox etc, and I agree that it's concerning that their use has become so widespread. I think the natural look is so much better. I have photos of my grandmothers when they were in their early 20s and they were both absolutely beautiful.

I've had a couple of moles removed, but that's all. I may think about a breast uplift and reduction one day, but that's because I'm 34HH and gravity will probably have some effect when I'm older! For now I'm happy with facial scrub and moisturiser. I have a few wrinkles developing around my eyes, but they don't bother me much, and I actually never think about them unless I'm staring at them in the mirror! I do dye my hair, but I started doing that in my 20s, just because I wanted to change the colour. Make up is only occasional, it's way too much faff for every day.

I love my laughter lines. Why on earth wouldn’t I want to carry physical evidence of every time I’ve smiled? What a gift. People who’ve had work done don’t look like young people, they look like people who’ve had work done.

Yes, I was reading about 'preventative Botox' the other month, ladies as young as their 20's. Botox is poison! I get that it helps wrinkles, but really, come on. I think it's going too far. I wish young naturally beautiful people would concentrate on having fun, getting out there, enjoy the world than have medical stuff done in order to conform.

No.
Ageism is discriminating against someone because of their age. It is not pointing out the fundamental benefits of being a particular age.

unless my dictionary is out of date (dare I say past it) of course.

Fabulous film.
Ironic that it's star has had untold 'work done' yet she's still sacked for looking too old!

By the time ds’s ex girlfriend was 23 she’d already had a boob job (x2), nose job (x2), lip fillers, constant Botox, lower rib removed and a BBL. When we first met her she was petite, pretty with a slightly aquiline nose which suited her. By the time they split up after 5 years she was a barely recognisable caricature of her former self. All paid for by her mother - kept secret 🤷‍♀️from her father until after each procedure. She is very high maintenance in all respects .. but …. she got a first, followed by a masters and is now working for a major global bank so it’s not a sign of lack of ambition or other opportunities.

Thinking there's innate beauty in being young is a bit ageist tho

Some young people are pure ugmos (I speak from experience)

Some older people are halle berry

I would also argue that it’s a natural trajectory that started in the 90s. Remember the Hollywood wives documentary on itv in the 90s? Remember the booob jobs and nose jobs of the noughties? They were actually a lot more affordable and rather than with Botox went with a juicy trackie and creme de la mer era.

people blaming the Kardashian’s- don’t forget they are also old, they have been active for 20 years. Their fans are millenials. Even the youngest, kylie, had her boob job at 16, a decade ago.

I’m not sure it’s got any worse recently, and has maybe even passed peak. People like Keira knightly, Kate winslet, Amanda Siegfried have shown themselves aging more naturally in recent years.

It's easier to have fun if you are conventionally attractive, unfortunately

Oh I think it can go along with a high-achieving personality, in contrast to the person who said this is often young women with not much else going on in their lives. They want to achieve a certain standard of "good looks" alongside their career and personal goals.

You misunderstand me. I think that youth is beautiful in and of itself. Not that all young people are classically beautiful.