To be upset that young women feel they have to mutilate themselves like this

[LandOfFruitAndNut]

For context ‘young’ in my book is anyone under 35. I am in my 50’s. Very much old crone territory and thankfully no amount of procedures could improve my bog standard appearance. Thankfully as I am over 50 I really couldn’t give a toss.

So - AIBU to think that any level of plastic surgery is unnecessary except for medical reasons and to be particularly upset that young women think they need it?

Young people are beautiful. Full stop. They are young, have fresh skin, bouncy hair and ooze youth. Why does society tell them that making their bottom extra round or their lips extra puffy will improve their lives immeasurably?

Because it is society. I don’t buy the ‘doing it for themselves’ for one minute. If it was just for them they wouldn’t be posting images of the new improved them over the internet usually with the support of some down lighting and a smoothing filter or two.

Is this yet another issue we can lay at the feet of the patriarchy or is the concept of beauty so skewed anyway that I should stop getting so exercised about it and go back to my knitting?(societal stereotype of 50 something woman for dramatic effect. I prefer decoupage)

I wonder if it is the young people with no other aspirations in life who are looking into all these procedures?. If young people have ambitions and goals that don’t depend on their looks, they may be able to resist this nonsense for longer?

I think it’s a shame that anyone feels they need to do it but then again, it’s their face, their decision so I’d not judge anyone who chooses to/chooses not to.

I blame Instagram.

So happy I grew up before all this pressure to look a certain way- a way that doesn't even really exist in real life.

I agree OP, it's sad. I worry for my daughter growing up in this climate.

You are not being unreasonable for preferring decoupage to knitting.

Absolutely this.

Actually we all grew up under pressures (although maybe not involving such extreme body modification) to look a certain way, whatever our ages. I am still proud of myself for not succumbing to the dread hot pants and the even dreader feather cut in 1971. And for giving the evil eye to barrel legged jeans in 2026.

It’s not really any of your business what they choose to do.

Of course you do. Why wouldn't you?

It can be incredibly hard to watch your youth fade away and so tempting to get little tweaks here and there to try and put it off a little. Eventually though, you do have to come to terms with ageing. You most certainly can't fight the tide.

It’s not something I would ever do but I also find it hard to judge people if that makes them more confident. I had my ears pinned back at 11 which was a massive boost to me - yes it it may have been cosmetic but they were starting to have a negative impact on me.

If someone having some Botox works for them then fair enough. I’m embracing the wrinkles but I’m also lucky to not have many yet!

It’s only hard if you think ‘youth’ is the only bit of your life that counts.

You cant (and never have AFAIK) been able to get your boobs done in the high street?
Tweakments , fillers etc are available in beautician and dentists, its a lot more easily obtainable than a boob job.

I agree with you OP, I have no judgement at all to make about older women who choose these procedures - although I won’t be joining them - but I find it both worrying and sad when very young women do it. They are damaging themselves and risking their health. There has been a trend in the past decade towards a level of patriarchal pressure on young girls that I’d hoped not to see again. They don’t feel like they are enough, and some of them feel that their primary function is to be attractive to men and submissive to male preferences. It’s starting earlier and earlier - primary school girls with skincare fridges in their bedrooms - and I find it incredibly depressing.

I completely agree.

Sometimes I worry. A lot of people in my life think I should just accept how I am.

Excellent point.

I remember when I was younger (teens/20’s) commenting on hard it was for celebrities etc always having to be en pointe because of the paparazzi and how draining it must be not being able to just pop out on their sloths.

But you are 100% right that SM has created this environment for so much more people in society and driven some to become uptight about their appearance.

Nothing like today.

There didn't use to be filters. Cosmetic surgery was something for burns / trauma victims. No one took a photo of me in a club or a pub. People didn't scroll these images for hours on end, swiping left or right. I really dont think its the same but I might be significantly older than you.

( I love barrel jeans 😊 )

I'm sorry to hear that 💜

Fair enough. But do the maths on the historical fashion allusions on my post and you'll see I too was growing up way before the internet and social media. Not that the mean girls weren't bad enough on the subject of one's appearance and clothes-- because non-digital mean girls have been with us since time immemorial.
(I will only wear barrel jeans when my legs actually look like barrels.)

I had to stop watching The Apprentice for this reason. Identikit young women with huge lips and shiny foreheads.

I long for the individuality of Ruth Badger.

What I do think is needed is much tighter regulation of these industries to ensure they are as safe as possible

Only because their stupid mothers (and it will be the mothers) let them.

No teen (or woman in her 20s) needs anything more than sunscreen (other than those who may have bad acne and need something to counter it, otherwise concealer does the job).

Gosh yes, hear you on the mean girls. I remember some awful school loo graffiti... but I could get away from it at home, I wasn't carrying around a device capable of showing me how inferior I was 24h per day. It was just the actual real life mean girls- not the make believe shit girls today have to put up with.

( maybe my love of barrel legs is a conscious rejection of actually caring to wear something that flatters my figure? )

I have a feeling that the patriarchy is largely to blame and that young women have been gaslit into believing that beauty is somehow an unnatural enhancement of key reproductive features and, more importantly, more desirable, than the bodies they already have.

I remember scrubbing away at my face with Clearasil and St Ives Apricot Scrub in the 90s for years, before I bought an expensive moisturiser from Lush which got rid of all my spots. So I guess at least they aren't using the equivalent of paint stripper like we all were!

However I can't relate at all to doing anything to my face and I'm in my 40s. Who am I supposed to be impressing with a lineless forehead and big lips?