AIBU to feel insulted.

[Leftoutthewill]

Mum died April 25, previous will stated that any estate was to be split between me and my sister. We should have been in line for a share of a 285,00.00 estate. My sister and her husband have taken responsibility for everything for my mum for the last 17 years, shopping, appointments caring for dad as he was dying, taking her on holiday, having her at Christmas, sitting with her at hospital for emergencies, helping her sort out bills, things going wrong with the house responding to her care alarm all thr while living 20 miles away. In the end she kept falling they took her to live with them and cared for her 24hours a day, eventually this became too much and she spent the last couple of months in a care home.
We just went every now and then and until recently we'd not seen her in four years.
My sister is executor of the will and chose to go through a solicitor. It turns out the six month probate finished on 12th February and I've recently had a letter to say that I'm due to receive some money but not detailing how much. I never received a copy of the will so have contacted the solicitor and have discovered that my sister has been left the majority of the estate and I'm left wih £10,000. She gets around £260,000
Apparently she changed her will about 12 months before she died, she has capacity according to a capacity assessment and its all legal and above board. Apparently there is very little I can do.
I feel like the solicitor should have written to me to explain about the 6 months probate but apparently the will was public information and was downloadable months ago. Apparently he onus is on me to find will and pay to download it then take action. I should surely receive more of a share?

Her mother has to pay for bringing her into the world, I guess 😊.

This 100%

YABU - your sister deserves that money

You got what you deserve.

That doesn't make sense. You felt pushed out while your sister was pleading with you to help? You could have easily been involved but couldn't be bothered. You didn't seem to love your mum all you were worried about was getting your money.
You got what you deserved (well more than you deserved as you deserved nothing
Contest the will if you want but really you should be grateful you got anything

Wow. You're lovely aren't you? 🤡

Your sister DID deal with your Mum. And your Mum decided to give her more money to cover everything she did

What goes around comes around

I lived 50 miles away from my mum and visited every week.
Mum eventually moved area and is only 12 miles away. I think your sister deserves the money because you didn’t help to look after her or even visit for 4 years.

Definition of delulu

Your sister and husband deserve the lot IMO. Do you know how hard it is to care for someone who is a) housebound b) dying? (x2?)

You only lived 50 miles away, barely saw her for 17 years, didn't see her at all for 4 years, reading between the lines it seems you may have gone sniffing round shortly before she died and you're pissed off that the daughter who was consistently there for her for at least the last 20 years of her life is getting the money and you think you have a right to more?

Your mum left her money to the person she wanted to. You dont have to like it but theres nothing you can do. Maybe you should have cared more about her in life than you care about her money in death.

Really curious @Leftoutthewill, why do you think you deserve any money when you haven’t been a good daughter by your own admission?

Insulted? No.
Embarrassed? Yes.
Grateful? Absolutely

50 miles! I go that far to shop...
Put it another way, we have a family member currently paying £7,000 a month for care. If your DSis hadn't stepped up you wouldn't even have got £10,000. Your OP is incredibly selfish and entitled. I can't believe you aren't leapfrogging that shark with this one or at least in need of shaving your hands...

Yes YABU.

Very , very much so.

I know! 50 miles is fuck all. For the last few years of my grandads life I did that 3 times a week every week to help take care of him and at the time I had 2 children still in school to take care of.

If you care, you find a way.

Just to confirm this is not my sister I don’t have any siblings 🤣🤣

Is this bait?

I bloody hope so.

this HAS to be a joke in very poor taste.

Yeah, this is definitely real.

I actually believe this and don’t think it is a reverse. I actually feel quite sorry for Op. They must feel rather betrayed and maybe a bit stabbed in the back from her mother not so much about the money but what she may call the loyalty of it. Hands up who else (although not a small amount by any means) would be over the moon about getting 10K when we thought we were getting 260K because I certainly wouldn’t be. I have no problem admitting that whatsoever
This is no slur to your Mum Op but she could have told you that she’d changed her will.

I’m naive enough to believe it’s possible the op is telling the truth and she is in fact the sister who did nothing. Possible ND too, with strong sense of justice but simultaneously utterly oblivious to their own part played. The laying out of every detail even against herself in the op would fall in with that. If so, op you have put yourself first every single time your mother needed helped for 17 years, and your sister has put herself second. Your thought process possibly ended at the idea that you didn’t want to do it, so that was that. Your sister probably didn’t want to either, but she still did it. This is the consequence of every single time you didn’t do something you didn’t want to do, simply for the benefit of someone else, for 17 years. I think you should be very very grateful you got £10k, you don’t deserve any.

My husband's parents live 200 miles from us, but about 5/6 times a year with 2 small children we make the journey up to see them.

My own parents are 45 miles away from where we live, we make regular visits to see them even if it's for a few hours.

I still don't believe this is a genuine thread to be honest. 50 miles is a distance a ,lot of people commute each day to work 🙄so to use it as an excuse to not see your parents for 4 years is unbelieveable....

I thought the solicitor should write to everyone to explain the process. I did go to the funeral but thought it crass to talk about it there.

Since you are so insulted you should not even consider accepting the 10,000.