AIBU to feel insulted.

[Leftoutthewill]

Mum died April 25, previous will stated that any estate was to be split between me and my sister. We should have been in line for a share of a 285,00.00 estate. My sister and her husband have taken responsibility for everything for my mum for the last 17 years, shopping, appointments caring for dad as he was dying, taking her on holiday, having her at Christmas, sitting with her at hospital for emergencies, helping her sort out bills, things going wrong with the house responding to her care alarm all thr while living 20 miles away. In the end she kept falling they took her to live with them and cared for her 24hours a day, eventually this became too much and she spent the last couple of months in a care home.
We just went every now and then and until recently we'd not seen her in four years.
My sister is executor of the will and chose to go through a solicitor. It turns out the six month probate finished on 12th February and I've recently had a letter to say that I'm due to receive some money but not detailing how much. I never received a copy of the will so have contacted the solicitor and have discovered that my sister has been left the majority of the estate and I'm left wih £10,000. She gets around £260,000
Apparently she changed her will about 12 months before she died, she has capacity according to a capacity assessment and its all legal and above board. Apparently there is very little I can do.
I feel like the solicitor should have written to me to explain about the 6 months probate but apparently the will was public information and was downloadable months ago. Apparently he onus is on me to find will and pay to download it then take action. I should surely receive more of a share?

No it’s not awful. It’s completely understandable that they would give more to the sibling that has dependants, to help support those dependants in the future too. PP is the one who’s awful, to make it all about money and cut the relationship off. I would’ve reduced the 1/3 to 0 if I’d been those parents.

The OP was left £10,000,. The sister spent time and money, caring for their mother, with all that entails. She probably ran her life entirely around the needs of her mother. I would say that, yes, in her case it does come down to that.

Op, by the point your mother changed her will, you’d not seen her for 3 years,

it was clearly something incredibly hurtful for her, and would have caused a lot of pain, and I suspect it shows her love for you in the fact that she still left you 10k, when you were estranged.

it’s not clear why you chose to be estranged but it was your choice it seems. The same as not getting involved in the estate or will, just waiting for pay out, again an odd decision but I’m sure you had your reasons.

all round a very sad situation, but one you should not be surprised at.

The op didn’ see her mother for 4 years and ir wasn’t as she was unable to travel I think you’ve misunderstood.

Sounds like you've done well to get 10k

There would have been none left... Recently looking in south West for my parent... Cheapest was 75k annually.

Which you didn’t give.
You sound like a petulant toddler stamping their foot.
Not a good look.

Well done on your parents making sure the child who made the effort and helped them when they needed it got what she deserved. You sound awful.

In the unlikely event the sister did crow, did brag, did make her own bed or was the favoured child: it doesn’t matter. She still put the work in. For 17 years. That’s not far off a generation of caring. And includes caring for her dying father also. All that physical and emotional load fell to her. She deserves every penny of what she’s received. If OP had received half while doing the sum total of nothing, now that would have been unfair.

I'm sorry that you've lost your mum OP. I'm sorry that it's all happened like this. I think you've buried your head as to what's been happening and I do think it's sad.

Complicated and difficult family relationships and death bring so many mixed feelings.

I think it sounds like your sister really does deserve a greater share of the inheritance. I'd take the 10k in good faith as a gesture that she loved you and wanted you to have something to put towards something nice.
I don't think it's an insult. X

I think it’s pretty fair and your sister deserves her inheritance. You’re lucky to receive anything given you didn’t visit at all for 4yrs.

And with that decision, you made yours.

"...unable to travel to help out..." is not accurate. The OP chose not to help.

That’s not fair.
Just because they didn’t get grandchildren they punished her.
It’s not reasonable and fair to give the sister with the kids more in this circumstance at all.
Inheritance should be equal unless of course there is a comp breakdown in relations like the OP’s situation.

Can’t believe this isn’t a reverse tbh. You barely saw her and left your sister to care for her in her final years and you’re questioning why you wouldn’t get more money? Of course your sister deserves the majority. Tbh, given how little you saw of her (despite only living 50 miles away which is fuck all), I’m surprised she didn’t just leave it all to your sister.

You’re lucky to get anything in my opinion, the entitlement is strong.

You reap what you sow springs to mind.

You openly admit you didn't even see your mum for 4cyears, yet your sister did everything she could for your mum (and dad when he was alive).
Just because youre her daughter doesn't entitled you to inheritance. Your mum clearly realised who gave a hoot and who didn't give any hoots, and changed her will to fit this.
Think yourself lucky that you even got a penny!!

Are you high??? You’re basically annoyed you’ve got nothing. You’ve only said your sister did virtually everything yet you’re expecting shit??
I have relatives like this! I have one relative in do everything for and the rest of the family don’t and I know for a fact when the time comes this will be the same story. I cannot imagine being mad over what someone chooses to do just because they have finally died and you want their money. Hard fact is be there for them when the are here when they actually need it and not expect to be left stuff when the aren’t.
That’s not being harsh but if your sister has done as much as you’ve said she’s done then she is more tha deserving

lol. You are funny. What goes around comes around. I think you’ve got exactly what you deserve.

Wow, you sound like my aunt- despite my GM sharing everything equally between my DM and her while myself and my DM had done almost all the support for many years she was still ungrateful. My GM didn’t want to upset her… 🙄

Perhaps consider what the equivalent wages would’ve been for the story you provided over those years vs what she would be owed and I bet you’re still overpaid and her underpaid.

50 miles? Mine live 200 away and I see them at least 4 times in a year. I can’t quite believe I’m reading this. No, you’re absolutely not entitled to more. You’re lucky you got any. I’d have cut you out completely. CF at its absolute finest.

Yeah and now she gets to lie in it, thats one hell of a comfy bed. Sounds to me like you got what you deserve. You sound entitled.. you say it's an insult? It's an insult you weren't there for your mother in her time of need or your sister when she was asking for help. You reap, what you sow.

Wow! Having read all your updates too it seems you left everything to your sister to deal with and look after, all the mental load of this and your father must have been exhausting for your sister for the last 17 years, 4 of which you didn’t even see your poor mum. I honestly think a token gift is all you really deserve and I’m usually a total pushover! Your sister also thinks this too as she probably knew you wouldn’t actually look into this yourself but expect her to let you know. Enjoy the 10k, I think you’re lucky to get that.

I hope this is not real! Surely no one can be this entitled! You did nothing to help your mother (living 50 miles away is not an excuse) left your sister to do all the work so I actually think she should have all the money and you give her the share you have been left!