AIBU to feel insulted.

[Leftoutthewill]

Mum died April 25, previous will stated that any estate was to be split between me and my sister. We should have been in line for a share of a 285,00.00 estate. My sister and her husband have taken responsibility for everything for my mum for the last 17 years, shopping, appointments caring for dad as he was dying, taking her on holiday, having her at Christmas, sitting with her at hospital for emergencies, helping her sort out bills, things going wrong with the house responding to her care alarm all thr while living 20 miles away. In the end she kept falling they took her to live with them and cared for her 24hours a day, eventually this became too much and she spent the last couple of months in a care home.
We just went every now and then and until recently we'd not seen her in four years.
My sister is executor of the will and chose to go through a solicitor. It turns out the six month probate finished on 12th February and I've recently had a letter to say that I'm due to receive some money but not detailing how much. I never received a copy of the will so have contacted the solicitor and have discovered that my sister has been left the majority of the estate and I'm left wih £10,000. She gets around £260,000
Apparently she changed her will about 12 months before she died, she has capacity according to a capacity assessment and its all legal and above board. Apparently there is very little I can do.
I feel like the solicitor should have written to me to explain about the 6 months probate but apparently the will was public information and was downloadable months ago. Apparently he onus is on me to find will and pay to download it then take action. I should surely receive more of a share?

Did you invite her to Christmas at yours?

Did you offer to take her away?

You didn't want a relationship with your mum while she was alive. You didn't want to visit her or help care for her when she needed it. All you wanted was her money. Well tough, the person who stepped up got that and you got more than you deserve.

If one of my siblings were to take on the elderly care for my parents alone, giving up years of their lives, nursing them in their final days, they would be welcome to the lot.

She might of had she visited

If you try to contest the will your 10k won’t go far in legal fees

What amount would you consider to be fair for you to receive OP?

Also, they only reason there is anything left is because your sister cared for your parents, I'm not sure there would have been a great deal left after 4 years of care fees

I looked after a parent with dementia, moved in and it was the worst time of my life, sister did nothing, didn’t want to be involved and couldn’t give a damn that I was falling apart trying to do everything, parent’s will was not equal between us and I think that was fair

Have you understood the almost unanimous responses you've had?

People think your feelings are so outrageous that many of them don't even believe you.

This is a situation of your own making.

Having said that, I won't be sending my goats over your bridge any time soon.

She would also need a basis on which to contest the will. 17 years of leaving DSis to do it all and 4 years of bugger all contact won't work I feel 🤔

I can't tell you how glad I am that you only got £10k in your Mum's will. You actually deserved £0. Your sister clearly loved your Mum, you clearly did not. I cannot believe how entitled you are, OP, for offering no help to anyone and feeling like you deserve some sort of reward for that.

I’m just baffled that for 17 years, the last 4 of which you didn’t even bother contacting her, you did nothing; and yet you still had it in your head that you’d get a good share of her estate. That is actually batshit. At no point whatsoever in those 17 years, did it not occur to you that possibly all would go to your sister. If it didn’t, I would say that’s a level of lacking of self awareness that is no where near the norm.

@Leftoutthewill

You say that you got on okay with your Mum yet had not seen her in four years. Why was that?

My experience is that people seldom reflect upon their own actions (or inaction).

Fair enough.
Turns out the mattress of that bed was stuffed with cash.

You made your bed too, when you chose to not bother with your mother.

What a breathtaking lack of self-awareness.

You are the one who has made your own bed and now you don’t want to lie in it.

To be honest @Leftoutthewill you don't even deserve £10k. You should think yourself lucky.

FOUR YEARS?? Good grief. You reap what you sow..

Well maybe you should have been a kinder, more loving daughter

Be grateful you got anything

So she made her bed and you made yours. What's the issue?

The most obvious reverse in the history of Mumsnet!

Each post, you sound worse

You didn't help, you lived only 50 miles away but never visited. I can see why she cut you out, be grateful for the amount you got, its more than you deserve.

My parents live about 100 miles away and I don't drive. I have to take a 2 hour train or a 2 1/2 hour National Express to see them, I go every 2 months or so. Leave after work on Friday to arrive at about 9:30pm then get home about 9pm on the Sunday. It's knackering but I love them.

Look back over the last 20 years and work out how many hours you spent supporting your mother. Then consider your sister's contribution, including 24 hours a day when your mother lived with her. It sounds like you've inherited £10,000 for doing sweet fa. If you're that insulted give it to your sister or charity.