To hate "outdoor clothes" in the bed?

[Clover96]

Bit of a silly one really but please help settle a domestic disagreement 😅

Am I being unreasonable to not want my partner wearing the clothes he's worn out and about all day, in or even laying on the bed? He showered in the morning, went to work, hasn't changed his clothes since coming home and lay in the bed. He thinks I'm being dramatic / naggy to want him to change his clothes.

We only changed the bedding last night and I never wear the clothes I've worn out in the bed, he doesn't really see the issue.

100% behind you, my kids even know that it's no outdoor clothes in bed. I grew up in the countryside and my mother was a sticker for this to to stop ticks and mites coming in, plus it's just gross having an the days dirt in your clean bed.

I get this is a 'thing' for some people but I think it's unfair to insist on it for other people. Unless he is literally going to get the bed visibly dirty or he works in a fishmongers then leave him be. I'd hate to be told what I had to wear to lie on my own bed.

I’m in between, for me on is ok, in not so much.

Depends on his line of work.... in an office ok, a trade or outside not so much.

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

You've used both the words in the bed and on the bed

On top of the duvet, fine.
Underneath the duvet/sheets, not fine.

If they are muddy or visibly dirty then not on the bed, anything else I fail to see an issue

I have a no outdoor clothes in the bed rule. I don’t care if anyone thinks it’s unreasonable!

He's in social work so a lot of driving about, going into other people's houses that by his own admission aren't the cleanest - one person he worked with had a flea infestation at one point but his argument is that he hasn't worked with them for a while. Another person's home smells of smoke to the point he'll come back with the smell stuck to him, again that hasn't happened recently so I get his side that unless it's people like those two, he isn't working anywhere hands on or dirty. I suppose I'm just dubious after those situations too. 😂

I couldn't live that strictly honestly. I know someone who doesn't even like people sitting on her sofas if they've been sitting on public transport. (She puts throws down for visitors, and family members change when they get in.) So joyless.

Honestly, I can almost understand the sofa thing more than the bed, because bedsheets can be changed and washed but sofa cushions not as often.

But they're both needlessly strict.

And the thing pp said about ticks and mites is surely only relevant if it's relevant!

He's done both, I'd not do either but I think on top of the covers is probably just my personal preference. He was under the covers tonight though which seemed worse especially on the clean bedding.

Agreed!

I cross posted with your last update. Yanbu about smoke or fleas. But yabu if just everyday out and about

Suggest you sleep in another bed until he’s removed offending gear?

Resting ON the bed ok.

Getting IN the bed, under the duvet type IN the bed… no way.

My bed & bedding need to be pristine. I couldn’t countenance anyone lying in outdoor clothing in the bed. Absolutely no way.

Ok so, seems sensible to ask him to change if he's been somewhere with fleas or smells of smoke. You'd hope he'd have the sense to do that himself of course.

I don't like it, but I am a clean freak. I am trying not to dictate how other people in my family live their life. I don't like clothes on bed, but then I don't even allow shoes in my bedroom 😂- in the cupboard I mean, feels to dirty to have them upstairs.

We have what we call " house clothes". So as soon as we come home from whatever, wherever, the first thing we do is change into our house clothes.

I wouldn't be happy someone lying about on the bed in clothes worn out side.

Quite often when I'm out and about I see people - quite often young people but older as well - sitting on the pavement for heaven's sake, or on the grass embankment opposite where I live which dog walkers use,or on top of litter bins etc. - all manner of filthy places. I sometimes wonder whether they changeme their clothes when they go home because I wouldn't like them sitting on the sofa, the kitchen chairs and certainly not the beds in my home.

So I agree with you OP.

No I don’t do this and wouldn’t really like dh doing this either.

A highly convenient drip feed with the addition of fleas and fag smoke!

Yep I don’t sit on my bed with outside clothes

In bed - no, on the bed just about acceptable, depending on the state of him!

Have you ever sat on grass for a picnic?

When I was younger I of course sat on the grass. These days I would put a blanket or something similar down to sit on.

But I don't see what your question has to do with my post. I certainly wouldn't sit on grass where I've seen dogs weeing. I certainly wouldn't sit on a filthy pavement outside a shop or at a bus stop. It's bad enough sitting on a seat in a bus or train having seen ignorant people putting their filthy shoes up on the upholstery.

@singthing I have a tendency to ramble on so tried to keep my original post brief, I was answering what kind of job he does.