To hate "outdoor clothes" in the bed?

[Clover96]

Bit of a silly one really but please help settle a domestic disagreement 😅

Am I being unreasonable to not want my partner wearing the clothes he's worn out and about all day, in or even laying on the bed? He showered in the morning, went to work, hasn't changed his clothes since coming home and lay in the bed. He thinks I'm being dramatic / naggy to want him to change his clothes.

We only changed the bedding last night and I never wear the clothes I've worn out in the bed, he doesn't really see the issue.

On behalf of my dd - yes she gets changed every single time she gets home even if she is going out again later. She hates having people in her room - as I said, very particular.

So are you washing all your clothes at 60 degrees? Because lower temperatures won’t wipe out moths.

I’m with you OP.

Especialy if you take public transport where so many people think it’s ok to put their feet up on the seat in front of them or for various reasons are wearing dirty clothing. I was on the tube recently and the seats looked grim.

If you get to your bedroom how difficult can it be to change out into indoor comfy clothes before lying on your bed?

Do you wear a disinfected swimming cap in bed OP? Just asking because your hair can have all sorts of germs and dirt on it. Especially if you don’t wash it thoroughly before bed. Better safe than sorry.

@cramptramp No I don't, I do wash my hair at night though to save time in the morning so it can't be too dirty 😅

This concept of outdoor clothes is strange to me. I weer clothes, indoor and out, the same clothes. And never ever have I given it a second's thought in my entire life. And have never come to any harm.

Lower temps do wipe them out IME. I had an infestation in a flat, washed everything at 20 and bagged immediately when dry. Didn't see a single moth again.

I did once pick up a bed bug (just one single bug) from using the underground though… another reason not to wear outdoor clothes in bed😳

Yes, I can change clothes a few times in a day but its so normal to me. I think outside clothes in the bed is a bit gross but for the rest of the house, I change them for comfort more than hygiene. Also, I dont want to wear out my nice clothes just sitting about!

I acknowledge there is a level of privilege to having these separate "wardrobes" and even the free time to change and make myself more comfortable. In the house, I even swap regular socks for the big fluffy ones, just a whole different vibe!

I'm fine with guests in outdoor clothes in my house and depending on who it was, I might put on something smart for having them round. My mum and sister would just get me in my loungewear houseclothes.

I can't fathom why you would get 'in' bed with your clothes on still?? That's just such a strange thing to do.

Do you live in a tent in the Outer Hebrides or something and need layers to keep warm?

@TreesinthePark that all sounds very similar to me.

@PurpleCoo No 😂 I mean it is chilly but not that cold. He was wearing work trousers, t shirt and a hoodie.

Oh I love reading or watching TV in bed under the covers in the daytime! Me and the cats love a bed cuddle at any opportunity. I’d happily live in my bedroom most of the time despite having a rather nice house.

DD and I curled up under the covers to watch a film this week (during the day). 2 cats complete with muddy feet too.

We maintained our “outdoor” clothes on. No-one died.

Who gets in bed with their clothes on?? Just plain weird

Gosh yes. We use a lot of public transport and sit on buses. DC is also in primary school. DH works in facilities. For all of these reasons we have outside clothes and inside clothes. We try to change into inside clothes when we’re home but it’s not that strict. But I like a nice clean bed that I can rub my face into and not have to think about what was on the bus seat/school seat/whatever DH was kneeling in on the floor at work, that has transferred ont the bedsheets and pillows.

I don’t think there is any harm tbh - exposure to dirt and germs is good for us. It’s more level of comfort of what you bring into the home. I take off my shoes because otherwise I think
about all the dog poo etc outside being tracked into the home (especially since we live on route to a green space that is popular for walking dogs). It’s probably not going do me or my crawling baby any harm but it makes me uncomfortable. Same with clothes if I go on public transport, or with DC’s school uniform.

We have casual comfy house clothes, I’m wearing elasticated fluffy PJ bottoms and a very worn out but comfortable jumper. DH is wearing his dead Dads jumper, it was knitted by his Grandma about 40 years ago. We also have best coats, coats and shitty coats for garden work. No outside clothes on bed here.

i would never wear my outdoor clothes and lie in the bed as I take public transport and those seats are filthy!

Very upright

Precisely.

Weirdly, I don’t care nearly as much about this as the idea of wearing pyjamas in the supermarket. Not pyjama-like clothes but kids late at night in pyjamas and dressing-gowns, clearly ready for bed as soon as they get home. I find that really gross.

cara hooks behind my bedroom door.

It's an excellent way to bring bed bugs into the bedroom though . . .

Thank goodness for that. Do you ever open windows in your bedroom? I hope not because this lets airborne germs fly in and land on your bed and pillows which is frankly disgusting and can kill you. I suggest sealing all windows and any air ventilation shut so this can never happen.

Exactly. The germs you actually encounter outside will affect you more than the same germs possibly transferred to your bed via your own clothing ( i.e probably not at all).

I never mentioned ‘germs’ in my post. It’s about grime and the bed feeling dirty and needing changing. I don’t do naked sleeping either, as the sheets feel oily and sweaty.

A lot of common hygiene and cleaning habits aren’t to do with germs, it’s a red herring. It’s about feeling fresh and comfy. Even letting your dog lick dog is unlikely to make you actually sick, but many people are still averse to having slimy residue on their face.

And cleaning takes effort, you generally want things to stay nice as long as possible.

Seriously, what "grime" are you collecting on your clothes by going about your day? Where do you live? Victorian London?