Was I right to leave?

[Roulett]

I have been visiting adult DD to help with the children for half term. She has two children a six year old boy and 12 month old boy. They along with my son in law live three hours drive away so when I go I have to stay. We agreed I would arrive Monday and stay until Thursday morning. Unfortunately when I arrived the baby was quite poorly and ended up being sent to hospital yesterday although was then discharged with medication. My daughter and son in law asked me to stay but I already had plans for the weekend (friend’s granddaughters christening) so I said no. My daughter was upset saying she hasn’t been sleeping and needs more help as the baby is poorly. I’ve now come away and my daughter is being very short with me on the phone. Was I unreasonable not to stay? I’d already helped whilst there and she knew when I was meant to leave.

I'd be pretty gutted if I was your daughter.

I'd have stayed longer. The baby's been in hospital.

There is no way I would have left DD. Absolutely no way in hell. It wouldn’t have even crossed my mind.
I’d get back on that train and apologise.

Have you ever had your child rushed up to hospital? I have. I needed my mum.

And she was there. Rightly.

I have two kids, and if I’m lucky enough to be a grandparent and they are ever in the same situation then I’ll be there come hell or high water.

Do you have kids?

You prioritised attending the christening of a friend's grandchild over helping to care for your own grandchild who has just been discharged from hospital.

Attending a christening? Over supporting your daughter with your grandchildren? Are you fucking kidding?

And your post helped how???? It was nothing than a cheap shot. Again, bravo!

Having children doesn't mean that you're nothing but a service provider. I've always tried to accept that my children's grandparents are people in their own right with full and meaningful lives of their own. It's nice to help where you can but you have to be prepared for some no's.

My mum lived nearly 300 miles away. So no, I doubt she would've rushed to the hospital. She never lived long enough to be in this situation with grandchildren, but no, with being miles away and knowing how her own children had all been brought up to be ok, strong and capable dealing with things, she'd probably had not come. She would've called though, and lent a supportive ear. She was a lovely, kind thoughtful lady my mum, everyone liked her. Unlike my dad..

In the same situation of the OP, I still think she would've gone to her Christening. Seriously ill child perhaps not, but the baby is home, on medication, she was already there when the baby was rushed to hospital and already been supportive.

?????

Sorry OP, there seems to be some mumsnetters who are hell-bent in derailing your post to have a go at me, and robotdog? I have no clue what they are on about now.

Anyway, enjoy your christening @Roulett

Yeah, you definitely don’t have kids. No one with kids would insinuate that anyone who needs support from their mum when their child is in hospital just wasn’t raised to be strong and capable.

I was, and as a single parent I most definitely am. And you’ve got no idea what you’re talking about. But we actually know what we’re talking about when it comes to sick kids in hospital. You don’t.

I literally have no idea what you're talking about! A robot dog? Literally a robot? I also have had one username throughout my time on MN.

No.. I do have a cat though. She's dying of kidney failure at the moment, would you like to see a pic?

The child isn't in hospital.
The mum WAS there when the child was in hospital.

Get it right, yeah.

PS - there's been many times I've wanted my mum... She's dead.

Would you say no to your cat if she begged for your help?
You probably have about 1/1000000 feelings towards your cat as good mothers have towards their children. You just really can't understand it until you have children I'm afraid.

You’re making it worse. No actual parent would think “the child is discharged from hospital so all is totally hunky dory now.”

Do you not realise the exhaustion it causes the parent? Because of the stress, the lack of sleep, the worry, trying to put a brave face on for other children. When they get discharged and come home… you just want to collapse. And sometimes have a cry because you had to keep it all inside while being there for your child. But you can’t, because you need to keep parenting.

If your mum is there, and could stay an extra night for you to do that then she should. And every good mum I know would. Mine did.

But you have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.

Not sure what your mum’s passing has to do with this? Since your whole point is that it’s totally unnecessary because the child’s parents should be strong and capable and get on with it without support. If your mum were alive, you wouldn’t ask her for help.

I’m sorry you didn’t have your mum long enough to really learn what it is that good parents do.

Same. Quite within your right to leave as you wanted to, OP, but I'm thankful my mum is a generous person and I could count on her for support in a stressful time.

What happened to the robot dog thing? You dropped that bit now? Am actually quite interested where the nonsense came from over a robot dog.

Out of interest, where was the husbands mum?

Please stop telling me my mum wasn't a good parent. You're being a bitch and it's not needed.

Eh. You’re the one who started the insults by saying that people who would want their mum to help haven’t been raised properly to be strong and capable. You can’t go around insulting everyone else’s parents and then expect a free pass on it.

You don’t have kids, yet you’re claiming to understand this situation. You lost your mum a long time ago so you’ve never had the option of being able to call her for support like most people would do, yet you’re claiming to understand what it’s like.

And you insulted anyone who does by saying they’ve not been raised right.

You are were you are due to necessity. You don’t have your mum. But it does call into question the wisdom of your extremely hard stance that it’s totally unnecessary for someone to ask their parent to help them because you don’t know any different, you don’t have kids to understand the feelings involved here and you don’t seem to want to take on board anything anyone says when they’ve been in that situation… other than to say they weren’t raised right.

No I didn't start the insults at all, in fact some of the insults and strange comments towards me have now been deleted by Mods.
I also didn't say half the things you have written here. I think you need to read back.