Made to feel uncomfortable

[Scottishlassie10]

Now I’m all for people wearing what they want but I do think there is a time and a place. My husband was in the health club last night relaxing in the jacuzzi when a group of young women in their early 20s wearing bikinis that left little to the imagination (think thong bottoms and boobs barely covered) started parading around. They came into the jacuzzi which I know they’re entitled to do, however 2 sat next to him and 2 directly facing. It’s quite a big jacuzzi so they had no need to sit where they did. He was the only male in. He felt he had no option to leave as this made him feel quite uncomfortable. Now I may be unreasonable in my thinking but I do think if the shoe was on the other foot and a male was to strut around the poolside in a thong or a group of men where to sit in an empty jacuzzi in close proximity to a female complaints would be made.

I'm not body shaming anyone. If anything, I'm bikini-shaming them.

I agree if that were men doing that they’d be escorted off premises.

What's wrong with being a size 14? Surely women don't need to be size 8s to wear a bikini?

🤣

Yep. Try reading it in context instead of taking out a part and pretending I'm saying something I'm not. Otherwise, it's going to make you look really, really stupid and odd.

They absolutely would not. I've been in showers next to men washing themselves with their hands down their shorts (which is the way some people choose to wash themselves). Not everything has to be sexual

The problem isn’t the 12 year old.
It’s that the parents didn’t challenge it and think it’s acceptable to call women gross.

You can look at an outfit and think you don’t like it or wouldn’t wear it yourself. But it’s not really acceptable to call women gross for choosing to dress differently to you. At least it isn’t in my social circle.

Judging women on their choice of clothes and criticising them for showing too much skin is often misogynistic and sexist.

Oh my Lord....your reasoning is so wrong. People of all shapes and sizes wear bikinis. I am a size 14 and the wrong side of 40, and I wear them all the time on beaches.
Not for an ego boost, but because they are more practical and comfier than a full bathing costume. I wear them for me, not for anyone else.

So if they were “parading around” and rubbing their boobs and bums on the beach, would that be okay? Seeing as their attire is more suited for the beach? Or would that make him uncomfortable too?

She wasn't calling the women gross or their bodies gross. She was calling the whole situation gross. I tend to agree with her.

Of course sometimes criticising women's clothes/appearance is misogynist. But often it's more like, omg, this makes me feel awkward, I don't know where to look, I don't want to be part of your "I feel sexy" experience.

Sand gets everywhere, on a beach it's almost compulsory to rub away at boobs and bums.

Me too and to be honest I'm not convinced they weren't purposely flashing. Men do rely on women doubting ourselves to get away with something that just crosses a line.
A man might say "howay, knock it off, there are children here" . A woman might pretend she didn't notice.

Either way, there is just enough credibility in washing your bits to avoid being reported or being escorted anywhere.

To avoid tan lines. That’s the reason people wear one. I never did as would rather be comfortable but I have worn string bikinis on holiday (even in my late 40s). I wouldn’t be seen dead in even a string bikini in a jacuzzi in a public pool or spa with other members of the public who have no choice but to sit in close proximity. It’s just not the sort of place you wear one and it looks completely out of place and inappropriate. It’s getting in and out, I wouldn’t want to be shoving my buttocks inches in front of someone’s embarrassed face while I got in. I can’t believe there are people who think this is ok.

'Bikini shaming'. It is women who wear them on their bodies.

Unclench. Women should be able to wear bikinis in spas without creepy blokes running home to describe their 'breast rubbing' and 'bum rubbing' in such pervy detail to their wife.

The problem, as always, is the man in this scenario.

Sacrebleu! A size 14! To some MN’s its a sin!

My reasoning is not wrong, it may be different to yours.
Personally I would not want to see that and would feel uncomfortable. I wouldn’t want to see see a man’s sweaty bollocks hanging out of a bikini either, he shouldn’t have to cover them up but it doesn’t change the fact that I don’t want to see that and find it unpleasant.

I'm here for all 631 replies 🍿 👀

of course sometimes criticising women's clothes/appearance is misogynist. But often it's more like, omg, this makes me feel awkward, I don't know where to look, I don't want to be part of your "I feel sexy" experience.

Sounds an awful like you policing women’s choice of clothes

Sometimes the problem is women, you know.

And the idea that a woman is a prude and needs to 'unclench' or reach for the smelling salts because she has an opinion and thinks for herself is WAY more misogynist than anything I've said, Gloria.

Holy shit - the body shaming on your post! You've really never seen anyone who doesn't have a 'perfect body in your eyes' wear a bikini?

OP & DH …. Number 12

www.wanderlustmagazine.com/inspiration/astonishing-holiday-complaints/

Whats the difference between bikini (not the dreaded thong) bottoms and a one-piece bottoms?

Agree I only own bikinis. They're more comfortable and they're easier for using the toilet.
Some people might not want to see me in a bikini, most couldn't care less. I've stood behind enough hairy backed men while queuing to realise I didn't have to care about what people thought about me in a bikini. I have my own problem with seeing hairy backs but I'm very clear it's my problem not theirs. Would I feel better if they were in a rash vest? Very much so. Do most people care? No, and are men more comfortable without them? probably yes.

Fine, we're all good then.

How? By describing my feelings? Weird comment.

Seriously, if we were talking about some bloke wearing women's knickers in the public pool because he thought he looked good and it made him feel sexy, everyone would be horrified. We don't want to be the audience for someone's sexy fantasies about themselves.

But because it's a woman flashing her bits because she thinks she looks good and it makes her feel sexy, it's okay?

Why do you need to feel sexy at the gym or a public spa, anyway?

I hope the media pick up on this. Then if any women were in the situation with a bloke staring at them showering paying too much attention to them 'parading' and 'rubbing' recognise it they may complain to the spa see if they might ban single men from spa/jacuzzi areas.

I'd be horrified if my dh was going for solo jacuzzis then returning with all the wank fodder descriptions of thongs, rubbing and breasts.