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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Despite his villainous behaviour, anyone feel a teeny bit sorry for Andrew?

886 replies

busymomtoone · 19/02/2026 21:55

Before I get totally flamed, I despise his attitude, and the things he appears to have done - particularly the subsequent lying and apparent determination to shield/ hide misdemeanours. However, seeing the photo of his release today looking a broken man after such huge public downfall , plus thinking of him going back to an empty house on his birthday with no family support - even though I initially felt he deserves every indignity and consequence - there’s still a teeny part of me that just can’t help feeling just a little bit sorry for him. If it’s true that he was taken to a brothel at age 11 , whilst it would in no way excuse abusing others , it means he has also been a victim of abuse. Additionally it seems the Queen and his entourage have never ever said no to him in his whole life- so to reach his 7th decade before any consequences hit makes me question how resilient he will be able to be. Obviously main sympathies are always rightly with any victims , but even the most hardened and perpetual criminals often retain family support, he seems to have nobody. ( albeit if his own making ) or am I just being too soft?!

OP posts:
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Freda69 · 20/02/2026 09:50

Only as far as him being extremely thick and totally spoilt for his whole life.
I did find it completely puzzling that he was ever made a trade envoy, until I read that Peter Mandelson was involved in that recruitment!

simpsonthecat · 20/02/2026 09:51

Aprilmaymum · 20/02/2026 09:47

In regard to family. His kids are not speaking to him. They have all washed their hands of him. I honestly can see him harming him self.

Not true.

Beatrice was seen with him recently taking one of her DDs riding with granddad. Eugenie appears to be more low key but I doubt very much they have washed their hands of him. It's easy to say something but do something different.

BlimeyOReillyO · 20/02/2026 09:51

Maia77 · 20/02/2026 09:45

I'm not saying he shouldn't be punished at all. He definitely should. I'm just saying it's understandable to feel a bit sorry for someone who is obviously very distressed.

So, if the distressed person had harmed your DD like AMW has harmed women, you’d have empathy for him?

Or is your empathy because you don’t know the women involved so they’re facelesss and unimportant.

Pepperlee · 20/02/2026 09:52

LizzieW1969 · 20/02/2026 08:20

I don’t agree with this PP’s reasoning at all about SA not being so bad if it isn’t rough. It isn’t like that at all. But I do agree that it won’t have been specifically Andrew who drove her to suicide. He was one of many.

It was her father who destroyed her life from very early on, and then he allowed her to be abused by many other men. This is what my F did to me. I’m not angry with the other men (although it made me angry when one of them was investigated and not charged), it’s my F who I blame for it all.

Because that isn’t primarily about the SA, it’s about the betrayal by the person who is supposed to protect you.

None of this is saying that the other men aren’t despicable, btw. They deserve everything they get. It’s sickening for me that yet more child abusers are getting away with their evil crimes.

Your post is very sad and I can't even imagine what it must be like to live with what your father did to you. It's truly abhorrent. VGs father has dodged a bullet and he's still a free man , and yet she accused him and he denied it and that seems to be that! I really hope that you can find some semblance of peace in your later life.

52andblue · 20/02/2026 09:52

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 19/02/2026 22:23

It’s an act.

He’s looking small and old and scared to make people feel sorry for him.

I first noticed it with Rolf Harris at his trial when he looked ‘terrified’.

These are arrogant men with fame and money. They aren’t scared of shit.

He’s in his nice home eating nice food with a king for an older brother. Honestly, he’s fine.

... and Harvey Weinstein when he 'shuffled in' to court. DJT/family would play the dementia card if it ever came to that (it won't). Musk & co would be happy to say; 'but I'm ASD it's not my fault' if justice ever came ffor them (it won't). Of course dementia & autism can make a difference to behaviour (both in my family as I type) but this is not why they have behaved this way. They are simply rotten.

AMW is fine. Housed, fed, clothed securely for the rest of his life (the majority of which he has squandered, with his zip down - see 'Randy Andy') Obnoxious to the UK 'little people' whilst happily trading UK Govt info for even more £ for him.

If there is enough evidence I'd be pleased to see AMW charged for his crimes.
But of course he is a small-ish fish compared to Trump & Co. The release of (still only some of the Epstein files I imagine) which 'exonerate' Trump but include many identifying details of the victims tells you where the priorties lie.

I am a survivor of CSA. It stays with you for life.
Certain smells, looks, phrases. Can't sit with my back to the door in a cafe etc.
I'm FAR from the only one. I've had good therapy. I make an effort not to 'dwell'.
But I have to mitigate it when it 'jumps out at me' which it does often. Currently, watching the world protecting men who do this on a grand stage, it's draining.

So, I am biased of course, but my sympathy goes to all the young people who will likely have been affected, at some level, by CSA for the rest of their lives.

1dayatatime · 20/02/2026 09:52

BlueJuniper94 · 20/02/2026 08:49

Surely a jury is at least a shade more reliably impartial than a single judge's opinion, judges who have displayed skewed judgement on countless occasions themselves

That depends on what the case is and who the defendants are which should be irrelevant.

If the case is Jane Smith accused of jewel burglary on a Friday night then sure they a jury works. However with a politicised case like the Filton Six or it involves someone rich or well known then the jury system doesn't work, because people's beliefs/ prejudices come into play.

Skybluepinky · 20/02/2026 09:53

Of Course not, he took advantage of everyone and mummy covered everything for him, Navy had to make up a role for him as he couldn’t cope with normal work.

BatchCookBabe · 20/02/2026 09:53

100% not one grain of sympathy for this over privileged sweaty gonk. Sick of seeing his face now. He or that grim pig of a man Epstein are on the TV screen every fecking day now, and I am SICK of seeing them. I wish there was a block option on the TV so I could activate it and not see them! Angry

YABVU @busymomtoone

nomas · 20/02/2026 09:54

TimeForATerf · 20/02/2026 08:22

Fuck off, show me where I minimised what Andrew has done, go on. I said I didn’t feel sorry for him. Mumsnet is full of idiots than scan read and then pile on.

Comparing Harry to Andrew is minimising what Andrew did.

Your language doesn’t surprise me, this is about the level of discourse we can expect from the Harry/Meghan bashers.

PaperTyger · 20/02/2026 09:54

@simpsonthecat and saying one thing but doing another seems to be a family trait.

User9767475 · 20/02/2026 09:54

simpsonthecat · 20/02/2026 09:21

Incredible that someone on here says they feel more disgust for the press, than they do for Andrew.

Get over it people. It's a big story. Historians are looking back to the 1600s for anything similar.

I have watched a lot of reports about this and there was this man on yesterday who had some link somewhere to the royal family and as soon as he opened his mouth, (very posh) I knew what sort of thing he would say.

It's all OK, the Monarchy will get over it, it's not as serious as the abdication, and more, the general public should be grateful we have a royal family.
The abdication happened because of love. (Not an ideal scenario I know but bottom line is, he gave up the throne for love)
This has happened because of avarice, entitlement, repeated deceit, and dare I say it, behaviour with this misconduct, not far off treason.

I think it's a specific form of stupidity where people attempt false pattern recognition without applying any critical thinking. To a dumb person, they will remember how Diana was chased to death by the paparazzi which was obviously horrific. So there is the narrative of "press intrusion = bad". Then another case shows up many years later where a different Royal is attacked by the press so they simply apply that same sentiment, which they learned can be used to fake the idea that you have formed a clever, independent opinion.

It's all very tiresome tbh. Some people have a knee jerk reaction to wanting to prove they're clever by taking a stand against the mainstream opinion. However they only succeed in proving how limited their ability is at genuine critical thinking. They basically remember the whole #bekind campaign, Carolina Flack, Princess Diana (all female without no criminal records) and think that it's perfectly fine to apply that same idea to actual pedophiles and highly evil privileged wealthy men.

simpsonthecat · 20/02/2026 09:56

PaperTyger · 20/02/2026 09:54

@simpsonthecat and saying one thing but doing another seems to be a family trait.

I just think that they can say anything and there are no checks on whether they follow through with that! It's all just PR all the time

So reports saying Eugenie has distanced herself from her father/mother/both... don't believe it for one minute.

But I basically don't believe much of what the Palace puts out

SemperIdem · 20/02/2026 09:58

No, I can’t say I do feel even slightly sorry for Andrew. I’ve no doubt he is extremely distressed and that is entirely is own fault. He doesn’t lack capacity he is not a victim of anything. He is simply tremendously arrogant and stupid, as one might easily imagine someone of his background to be. Brought up to be well, nothing really.

zurigo · 20/02/2026 10:00

I wouldn't be surprised at all if he commits suicide. His guns were removed from Royal Lodge after he was stripped of all his titles and honours and told he had to leave RL and the natural conclusion to draw from that is that his family were concerned for his state of mind. I think he's a foul individual and would hate to have had to deal with him in any capacity in life, but there were never any consequences for his appalling behaviour, so it's no wonder he's the person he is. I wouldn't say I exactly feel sorry for him, but I do feel that he was allowed to become this person he is and now that the wider world has found out who he is he's been thrown to the wolves by his enablers.

AInightingale · 20/02/2026 10:02

I have been wondering too about a possible suicide. Rather than face the further humiliation and public exposure that will come if he has to answer for himself in the dock, if the CPS directs prosecution.

He lives on a farm, and the RF have access to firearms obviously - I think he hunts.

I do wonder what all of this is doing to Charles mentally, and by extension, physically - he is a 77 year old cancer patient, at the end of the day.

NewspaperTaxis · 20/02/2026 10:06

Middleagemoper · 20/02/2026 09:36

I don’t feel a shred of sympathy, although certainly he’s been enabled all his life and should have been called out many many years ago, as should all the completely immoral people involved in the whole sorry saga. How can people turn a blind eye just because someone is rich and famous? I know it’s easier said than done when there’s a power imbalance but how can those enablers have stood by and watched while all the shady shit went down? I couldn’t live with myself. Where were the whistleblowers?

I know I’m naive. I want to live in a world where people don’t lie and cheat, where people ‘in charge’ (be it the government, the monarchy, the police) can be trusted! It will
never happen. Humans are predictably corruptible.

The whole thing about whistleblowing is very odd. I've tried it myself re nursing homes and adult social care (euthanasia, frankly) and found to my astonishment it goes nowhere. The bigger the scandal, the bigger the cover up.
There seems to be a sort of code, that in state organisations it is a badge of honour, a sign of being an adult, that you get entrusted with certain secrets, and the darker the secrets, the higher up you are. So long, of course, as you are prepared to maintain secrecy, not if you're a whistleblower - why, then you are clearly not part of the team and deserve to be hounded; cast out as a scab.

Of course, one way to ensure this is for a pension to be lined up for you at the end of play, upon retirement, so you are all on the same gravy train and don't want to see it derailed.
Another reason to maintain secrecy is if they have something on you - some skeleton in your closet which they can use against you at any time. For this reason, the person who has screwed up on the job at some point may fear for their future but quite wrongly - it actually. makes them more employable and promotable simply because there is dirt on them. They are then regarded as a safe pair of hands.

This may be a reason why paedophiles get a free pass at a high level - it is such an odious crime, it's a way of getting folk to keep the dirty secrets, if they have a few of their own. And the State does have some really dirty secrets.

Freemasonry is perhaps a form of this - all the nonsense rituals, the secrecy. It's 'secrets for secrets' sake' - a kind of currency.

What scares me about the whole Epstein island thing is, how would you expose it? It would make Jonathan Pine's situation in The Night Manager look like a stroll in the park. Set up a spy camera in that situation - say to expose abuse in a school changing room, and you can easily see how that would backfire, and make you look like the pervert. You simply don't know if the person you are reporting it to is onside or has been bought up (it's said Harvey Weinstein had the police in his pocket; ironically the Israeili spy outfit Black Cube protected him - but it was disgruntled Black Cube staff who whistleblow his misdeeds to Ronan Farrow - his book Catch and Kill is superb). Some people who claim to be on your side are actually carrying out surveillance on complainants and reporting back your moves. It's not a fun world to find yourself in.

If you were high up in your organisation, why would you throw that all away and make yourself unemployable in your sector just to report someone's misdeeds, after all nobody else has reported it, so it can't be that bad, and maybe the women look like they're enjoying themselves and are up for it so why break ranks etc etc so the thinking would go.
If you were a lowly rank in your organisation, why would anyone believe you? And would you have time to gather the necessary information/evidence without in some way making yourself complicit over time, or getting found out?

TheCriticalThinker · 20/02/2026 10:08

Anyone else think this is going to be another Labour scandal? It was Blair who appointed him trade envoy and Brown kept him on. The Tories then got rid of him.

Who were Blair and Brown being advised by..

Peter Mandelson.

scottishgirl69 · 20/02/2026 10:09

busymomtoone · 19/02/2026 21:55

Before I get totally flamed, I despise his attitude, and the things he appears to have done - particularly the subsequent lying and apparent determination to shield/ hide misdemeanours. However, seeing the photo of his release today looking a broken man after such huge public downfall , plus thinking of him going back to an empty house on his birthday with no family support - even though I initially felt he deserves every indignity and consequence - there’s still a teeny part of me that just can’t help feeling just a little bit sorry for him. If it’s true that he was taken to a brothel at age 11 , whilst it would in no way excuse abusing others , it means he has also been a victim of abuse. Additionally it seems the Queen and his entourage have never ever said no to him in his whole life- so to reach his 7th decade before any consequences hit makes me question how resilient he will be able to be. Obviously main sympathies are always rightly with any victims , but even the most hardened and perpetual criminals often retain family support, he seems to have nobody. ( albeit if his own making ) or am I just being too soft?!

No. Not in the slightest

Buggabootwo · 20/02/2026 10:09

My sympathies are less than zero. However I am interested that the police are pursuing the Misconduct in Public Office offence not the sexual offences. If you think about it, there is much clearer evidence like timed and date stamped emails containing confidential government information that he only had because he was Trade Envoy. It’s black and white whereas sexual offences rely on he said / she said evidence and, as we are all depressingly aware, are bloody difficult to secure convictions. And Misconduct in Public Office can carry a massive prison sentence (up to life).

Feels a bit Al Capone and tax evasion.

HollyHoly · 20/02/2026 10:09

In the sense that we are all tricoteuses at the guillotine (I don’t exempt myself), yes I do feel a bit sorry for him. It doesn’t mean that he shouldn’t answer in full for what he has done and pay the same price as any other criminal in the same situation.

TiredCatLady · 20/02/2026 10:11

Not a single shred of sympathy for the pompous twat.
Nor for Fergie and his daughters who appear to be up to their own grubby necks in the dodgy dealings. The whole family is rotten.

TiredCatLady · 20/02/2026 10:12

TheCriticalThinker · 20/02/2026 10:08

Anyone else think this is going to be another Labour scandal? It was Blair who appointed him trade envoy and Brown kept him on. The Tories then got rid of him.

Who were Blair and Brown being advised by..

Peter Mandelson.

Yep. Blair “Middle East Peace Envoy” has gone awfully quiet.

SansGonads · 20/02/2026 10:14

I agree with you, OP- we're so quick to judge and never give a thought for the culture and practice of any given time (which is, in fact, a form of bigotry)
Anyone born into Andrew's life and given all that he was given from a young age would have done the same.
I know you could say that about any and all behaviours, and a line has to be drawn somewhere, but it's the sanctimoniousness that I can't stand.
Plus the continued ignoring of far, far worse crimes and practices because the perpetrators are an awkward demographic.
I actually don't give a fuck about a spoilt prince.
I'm very, very worried about what is happening to Jews in this country- but the fashionable silence is deafening on that front.

DreamingOfGeneHunt · 20/02/2026 10:14

Fuck no.

something2say · 20/02/2026 10:18

I don't feel sorry for him in the slightest.

Having read the recent book on he and SF, I think he is a dreadful individual brought up terribly, and he has done awful, manipulative, selfish things with his privilege. 'Let's try that again shall we? Go out and come back in again, and THIS time, say 'Your Highness'.'

I think he is not very clever because not ONCE has he checked himself; not ONCE have thoughts like, 'Ought I to do this?' entered his thick head. He has just blundered onwards.

He deserves to be in prison. To lose everything.

The monarchy cannot carry on after this - that level of privilege is not appropriate and never was. We don't need a 'monarchy' and we don't believe in it. Is this what it leads to?

I am disappointed in the police for their soft soap arrest - yes he sent the emails, but what about everything else? It is pathetic. But we can't trust the police and the legal people either can we? We know that. They are just tools for whoever had the most money. They invest their intelligence and education into doing whatever they are told to do.

I am disappointed in the professionals who have worked with AMW for years and covered for him.

And I am disappointed in the fact that he was quietly moved sideways so that the monarchy could pretend he is nothing to do with them anymore. Always protecting themselves, when someone from their family has done wrong. It's not a good look.

I don't feel remotely sorry for any of them.

It is the normal people who are going to need to carry this through by not shutting up.