AIBU to have ditched my family on holiday walk

[Mounjaroday]

On holiday and we’d just started our annual coastal walk. We have to navigate over a very squelchy muddy bit, one at a time. DH goes first, then strides off ahead at pace. As usual. Then the kids leap over, and run off to keep up with him. I’m suddenly left trailing behind at the back yet again, and it’s absolutely maddening.

“Wait up” was met with a rather cross “well keep up then” nonsense from DH. He doesn’t wait for me and they keep going - DH striding away, and the kids trotting along - and they don’t even bother looking where I am. They are easily 20m in front at this point.

So this time, I stopped, turned around and ditched the whole lot of them. Went for a mooch around the lovely gift and antique shops in the local town. Then grabbed a coffee and read some of my book. 2 hours all by myself. It was absolutely fabulous.

Was I unreasonable? They’re all salty about how I’d “left them”.

Dh can be like this. I can outrun the whole family, and I'm a fast walker, but on a 'walk' the point is to amble and talk. My solution in the past has been to just stand still, until they notice, then walk incredibly slowly to them while they wait.

Dh can be a bit thick too, so I have to actually spell it out: 'on this walk, we will be....'

Thanks for posting this and for reframing the situation for OP. I’ve been in this situation so much, in fact since DC was born. Trailing way behind husband pushing DC in buggy/around museums/on any kind of walk. Sometimes, like OP, I’ve turned away and done my own thing instead. I’ve always felt like the bad one for doing so. But I appreciate your perspective. They (under H’s guidance), had left me already.

Apologies. My post was directed at the wrong poster. I don’t seem to be able to remove, but I have deleted my original comment

No it isn't
There is nothing ruder than the more experienced/fitter walker striding ahead and leaving the slower one behind. It's a family walk, they are meant to do it together.
I hope you had a great afternoon OP. Teach them to do things properly next time.

My first DH was like this. On walks and out cycling. I always made sure I had a map of the area with me so I could abandon and go a d do my own thing. My second DH was fine, never left me behind.

Yeah because fat people deserve to be treated like shit eh @Aluna? 🙄

Op, you did exactly the right thing. And what great role modelling for your kids that women don’t have to put up with high-handed inconsiderate behaviour from their husbands. It didn’t sound much fun anyway. Fuck ‘em.

I hope you remain unapologetic and strong about this. They are the ones that abandoned you. They should be apologising. Have they?

You are very lucky to have this kindness around you.

It absolutely sucks when you dont.

This may sound dramatic but my Ex’s constant marching off (while I was carrying all the kid related stuff 🙄) is probably one of my top 10 reasons for filing for divorce.

I found it SO selfish and SO unloving.

@Mounjaroday is he otherwise kind to you?

Definitely try to talk to your DC and teach them that it is not nice behaviour to leave people behind.

Hope you enjoyed your reading time.

Me too, although I can’t outrun him. But I’ll just sit and wait, he can come back to me! I don’t catch up with my partner who was supposed to walk with me.

What a weird take.

It doesn’t matter if one person is overweight or not. If you are doing a group activity then you wait for each other and try to stay together as far as is possible.

@Aluna - would you treat your overweight friends like this?

It’s so rude. It’s a family walk.

Slow walkers and fast walkers don’t mix well…both sides think they are in the right.

@Carriemac thanks for this recommendation. I just checked out the audiobook from my library.

Your afternoon sounds much better. Tbh I'd sack off the family walk in future and do your own thing from the off.

I hope you had a lovely day! I hope the coffee was great and the book was interesting. I’m in awe of you.

Sounds like a lot of fuss over a bit of mud

Do you always talk to people like that?

It is a very good book, I recommend it too. Although I personally found the ending a bit flat.

Bet he is horribly competitive in general, and is one of those hideous dads on the sidelines. Be careful your kids don’t grow up like him.

I think it’s clear she was the one abandoned.

Yeah my ending would be different

Ha. Sounds like my dad. Lovely bloke but impatient as hell. He abandoned us in retail parks, on walks, on holidays. We enjoyed our time in the shops and having coffee and cakes too. We laugh about it now so don’t you worry about it at all and enjoy your book!

My DH and DC are all far taller than me, I pretty much have to take two steps for every one of theirs to keep up, and it annoys me when they aren't a little more considerate, I'm definitely not a slow walker, they're just very fast!

I find tbis maddening. Dh stops for me to catch up, then the second i do, he is off again!
Having said that it was very bad example to set your children, to just walk off without a word. Very childish, and potentially teaching them to put themselves in danger

It’s not nice behaviour to carry on at your own pace and assume others can keep
up. It’s also not a good example to the children.
If they ever join a club with other young people or as adults, such as mountain walking or kayaking / canoeing, this behaviour wouldn’t be acceptable. They will have to learn late, about keeping an eye on those at the back- or putting those people at the front.
It will be harder for them to learn about safety, and consideration for others, the later it’s left.

Its also not a great example to the children to abandon the walk completely.