AIBU to have ditched my family on holiday walk

[Mounjaroday]

On holiday and we’d just started our annual coastal walk. We have to navigate over a very squelchy muddy bit, one at a time. DH goes first, then strides off ahead at pace. As usual. Then the kids leap over, and run off to keep up with him. I’m suddenly left trailing behind at the back yet again, and it’s absolutely maddening.

“Wait up” was met with a rather cross “well keep up then” nonsense from DH. He doesn’t wait for me and they keep going - DH striding away, and the kids trotting along - and they don’t even bother looking where I am. They are easily 20m in front at this point.

So this time, I stopped, turned around and ditched the whole lot of them. Went for a mooch around the lovely gift and antique shops in the local town. Then grabbed a coffee and read some of my book. 2 hours all by myself. It was absolutely fabulous.

Was I unreasonable? They’re all salty about how I’d “left them”.

Surely they would have stopped eventually, it is a bit petulant to abandon them

YANBU. Did you let them know where you were though, or were they worried? DH is nearly a foot taller than me and often forgets that I have to trot to keep up with him. This is often a problem in airports, where I'm left behind with my bag and the crap the kids hand me. Very annoying.

If they couldn't he bothered making sure you were OK then yanbu!! Sounds lime you had a lovely time.
We're away at the moment and would love a couple of hours to myself!

The walk sounds more like a route march than a relaxing family coastal walk. It was rude of them to plough ahead and leave you behind.

You haven’t been unreasonable in the slightest and your mooch about, coffee and read sounds excellent.

I think I’d be suggesting another walk tomorrow then deliberately dawdling and doing it again.

Oh this is glorious. Sounds like they left you! No guilt my queen 👑

If anything they left you!

It’s absolutely no fun being left trailing behind on a walk - if they’d wanted your company they should have waited for you!

You asked them to wait up, they didn't, you did your own thing. More power you. 🤗

I'd have done the same. (In fact I have done, twice - on cycle rides.)

If "D" H wants a forced march at his pace he can do it on his own, or take the kids with and monitor them and help them manage the tricky bits.

If he wants a family walk, he should park the rude attitude and adjust his pace to one you can easily manage.

The kids should be apologising to you for leaving you behind, rather than giving you attitude. They need to learn that their dad's treatment of you sucked, and they should have stood up for you when he was yelling at you.

I just crowed “you know what, I’ll just see you back at the car”.

Absolutely not! This is classic behaviour, the alpha man at the front making no effort to support the rest of the group. Inevitably mum pauses to make sure the DC successfully negotiate the hazards, and is then left to catch up.

You think? He wasn't prepared to stop to help them thru the tricky bits.

And even if they did stop eventually. What kind of fun is it to be puffing along all along at the rear, alone and struggling to keep up.

When I was a teenager and did DofE, we were taught that a group out walking must walk at the speed of the slowest person.
You must keep your group together and not lose anyone.

It is a big effort for the faster ones to stick to the speed of the slower ones, but it is good walking discipline.

So if he thinks he is an experienced walker or a 'good' walker, he really should go bakc to basics!

The kids didnt need help

Good grief - I’d be getting frantic phone calls after a few minutes if I wasn’t in sight

and if I turned back , he would turn back too because you stick together and - as PP says - go at the pace of the slowest

Men like this are narcissistic arseholes. It’s the little things like this that give them away.

he has just demonstrated how you and your needs are not important to him.

is he like this with other things? This does not sound like a man who is wonderful in every other way

OP, have you posted about this before?
If I'm thinking of the right person, your husband has form for this and family walks are misery for you.
Anyway, good on you.

Correct. The kids didn’t need help. It was just a bit awkward getting over the muddy bit and they’re a lot quicker than me!

Good for you. No you were not unreasonable at all and apart from that it's your holiday too. Let them stride out in the mud and you enjoy your book and coffee. I don't blame you. You can be equally salty they didn't bother waiting for you

Oh no, I haven’t. Imagine my experience is not very unusual. My dad was always the same too. Striding off. So irritating!!

Good for you!

I guess I don’t quite understand why your kids can keep up with DH but not you. Is your username a clue are you a bit overweight?

I can see it from both sides. It’s annoying having to walk slowly but it’s annoying not being able to keep up with someone marching ahead.

My husband always speeds around museums or galleries, so annoying when I turn to say something about what I'm looking at and he's gone rooms ahead, might as well have gone alone

I think you are really minimising this behaviour because your dad is similarly selfish.

This is not ok and massively rude- could you imagine if you behaved like this with a friend? You just wouldn’t!!

this is why women accept such appalling behaviour from men - we are conditioned to accept it.

It was just that the DH went over the muddy bit first, then the kids, then me at the back. DH strode off very quickly, then the kids ran to catch up. I’d actually lent my walking shoes to one of the kids, so I was a bit slower / more careful over the slippy mud. By the time I was clear, they had all buggered off. The DH got cross that I asked them to wait up.

Overweight or not, I don’t see why I should run after my DH!

So you're left struggling with the bag, the crap and the kids eh? How awful that his extra height makes him so terribly "forgetful".