AIBU to have ditched my family on holiday walk

[Mounjaroday]

On holiday and we’d just started our annual coastal walk. We have to navigate over a very squelchy muddy bit, one at a time. DH goes first, then strides off ahead at pace. As usual. Then the kids leap over, and run off to keep up with him. I’m suddenly left trailing behind at the back yet again, and it’s absolutely maddening.

“Wait up” was met with a rather cross “well keep up then” nonsense from DH. He doesn’t wait for me and they keep going - DH striding away, and the kids trotting along - and they don’t even bother looking where I am. They are easily 20m in front at this point.

So this time, I stopped, turned around and ditched the whole lot of them. Went for a mooch around the lovely gift and antique shops in the local town. Then grabbed a coffee and read some of my book. 2 hours all by myself. It was absolutely fabulous.

Was I unreasonable? They’re all salty about how I’d “left them”.

YANBU.

Anyway, technically, they left you.

I guess I don’t understand why you think saying something like this is even in the realm of appropriate behaviour. I wonder if it causes you problems at work.

I don't see what's "alpha" about outpacing someone shorter & perhaps less fit than himself. Rude and ungentlemanly.

I don't need help on walks getting over stiles or stepping stones or whatever, but my boyfriend always offers an arm if I want one anyway, and wouldn't dream of prancing ahead like some big I am dickhead.

Inconsiderate jerks deserve to be left to lone-wolf it.

My dh would have rung me to see where I was

I think she did the right thing too, likely for a different reason than you do.

Are you feeling confused?

No!

Oh, that’s good. You seem to have made a nonsensical comment about OP’s age based on a word choice and then randomly laughed afterward.

This happens to me. They all SHOT up Arthur’s Seat and I was lagging behind. I see it as on me though for not being as fit as them. It doesn’t occur to me that they should slow down just because I’m slower and less fit. I just feel embarrassed and vow to exercise more.

It’s annoying that he went off ahead through the muddy bit and he shouldn’t have but if I’ve understood correctly you thought you’d be more similarly paced on the rest of the walk.

So rather than wait till then, or telling your husband and kids to stand still and wait for you, on your annual family walk, you’ve sodded off and left them all to it. Seems a bit churlish to me.

Its not a great message for the kids from either parent really

She did ask them to wait for her, but they didn't.

Sorry I made myself laugh at the use of the word crowing! Just imagine my granny saying it!

I saw that, she asked once, he said keep up, she left.

Neither are acting like they actually want to be in a family walk, and neither are modeling great communication to the kids.

"Annual" coastal walk? How come they didn't notice you'd gone before you were out of earshot? Is this walk something you actually enjoy doing together? It really doesn't sound like it. I'd say you're all BVU for putting each other through a 'family' activity that you don't enjoy doing as a family, but your DH is worse than the rest.

Well done you! Maybe do more ‘you’ time at least once a month. Also it’s your holiday and you should get to do want you want too !

How many times does she have to ask to meet your approval?

She'd already given up her walking boots to one of the kids so was hampered and in unsuitable footwear, she asked them to wait, got rudely told to keep up instead of him slowing down or helping her over the difficult bit. I don't think trailing after someone inconsiderate like an obedient dog is a great example for kids either.

I find walking at less than my natural pace unbearable (and I’m far faster than DH), but I make very sure only to go on substantial walks with someone I can walk comfortably with.

You should always go first. The slowest sets the pace...

Good for you, hope you enjoyed some time to yourself. Hopefully this will make them all think about their behaviour towards you.

What constitutes unsuitable footwear?

What’s with all of the speech marks around ‘annual’ and ‘family?’ if you were trying to add an extra level of being patronising, you were reaching the bar without the additional punctuation effort.

Um let me guess / something with less grip and probably less ankle support that make very muddy ground treacherous- fashion trainers rather than walking shoes or boots

It isn't a big effort to walk at the speed of someone slower than you though?

My Mum is disabled and it takes not one jot of effort to walk at her pace. It's wild that people pretend they can't walk a bit slower to keep the rest of their family company and ensure they don't get left behind.

Bullshit she’s meant to run along behind them like some kind of abandoned puppy?? They clearly don’t care if she’s there or not good for her enjoying a nice afternoon.