AIBU to have ditched my family on holiday walk

[Mounjaroday]

On holiday and we’d just started our annual coastal walk. We have to navigate over a very squelchy muddy bit, one at a time. DH goes first, then strides off ahead at pace. As usual. Then the kids leap over, and run off to keep up with him. I’m suddenly left trailing behind at the back yet again, and it’s absolutely maddening.

“Wait up” was met with a rather cross “well keep up then” nonsense from DH. He doesn’t wait for me and they keep going - DH striding away, and the kids trotting along - and they don’t even bother looking where I am. They are easily 20m in front at this point.

So this time, I stopped, turned around and ditched the whole lot of them. Went for a mooch around the lovely gift and antique shops in the local town. Then grabbed a coffee and read some of my book. 2 hours all by myself. It was absolutely fabulous.

Was I unreasonable? They’re all salty about how I’d “left them”.

Your dh sounds so incredibly rude. I couldn’t stay married to someone who would talk to me with such contempt.

I am disabled and walk a lot slower than the rest of my family. I know it’s frustrating for them but they always wait for me, walk with me. It’s just polite.

You're my hero of the day!

Except DC were all waking at Dad's pace! So there was no making sure the kids had navigated obstacles!

Fuck 'em. If they cant be arsed to wait up then why should you run after them?

An activity should be done at the pace of the slowest / least able person in the group imo. People can always go slower but it simply isnt always possible for someone to go faster.

Don’t make up shit about him “forgetting” because he’s taller! He doesn’t give a shit about you or the children! It’s as simple as that! Complete lack of disrespect and consideration

Sounds miles better! Nice. 😁

I think you should go do your own thing more often. Just leave them to it.

Yanbu its a family walk not a race and he needs to understand this

Do it every time until the shit behaviour stops.

You did what most people wish they had done!!! Genius!!!

All these men carry on treating you like crow because you let them get away with it! They give no shits about anyone but themselves and “forget” how fast they are walking and of course it’s always your fault they have left you behind with the kids/luggage etc 🙄 if you looked at your relationship- really looked at it! - you would find this was just the tip of the iceberg and the narcissistic behaviour from this man you put on a pedestal far about yourself and the kids has been going on for years so long you just get used being treated like a second class citizen

My DH used to do this in town - he'd stride off and id lose sight of him. So in just would stop and see how long it took him to notice. Then had a go at him and told him was acting really badly. He stopped.

He also would speed off ahead in bike riders, not knowing the planned route. So once I let him cycle ahead, I'd stopped at the junction, and sit and wait for him to come back about 20 minutes or so later once he's realised he was alone. Jend ask what was going on, I'd say, we turn left here... He said "why didn't you tell me?". Id say I did, but you went steaming ahead without listening., plus ifd planned the route so he should take my lead., it's not always easy being ride leader etc he scoffed and said he'd do the next one, we got lost...

Absolute hero 👏😂

You’re unreasonable for saying “wait up”.

I would have done the same

Took me 20 years to cop that I didn’t have to trot alongside DP in a semi jog to keep up with him.
Few years back when he was doing his usual speed walk through the airport I left him to it, had a mooch around duty free then went to a bar for a glass of wine and sent him a text telling him where I was. He came back 10 mins later with a face like a slapped arse because he had to trek back.
if DP speeds off, I no longer chase him, I give him a see ya later nod and he generally stops and comes back to me like a lost puppy.

You should have gone through the muddy bit first, then the kids, then your H.
And of course you should all walk pretty much together, or what's the point?!
He was an arse to not wait until you'd got through the muddy bit - what if you'd needed some help?

God yes it's so terribly annoying having to wait for fatties to keep up! 🙄

Get a grip. @Aluna

My DS ditched us all once on a country walk, as an early teen.

That was the last country walk we ever took as a family

Fuck 'em. I have done the same. Peri-menopause has caused me to no longer give any shits. I have little fat legs - deal with it.

Well done, OP. You did exactly right.

Try measuring your stride and your DH's stride and see how much longer his is (you say he's a foot taller than you) and, being male, his femurs are at a different and more 'movement-friendly' angle than your female ones. This striding ahead & travelling faster is easier for him and he really doesn't appreciate it because he doesn't know it.

Everybody walks faster than me, when I joined a walking group they'd wait for me to catch up (so they got a bit of a rest at that point) and, as soon as I joined them they'd be off again so no rest for me. I gave up and left the group. It wasn't a problem as I didn't know these people and it wasn't important to me, but this is your family and you're stuck with them (not that I'm suggesting you want otherwise) so best to sort it out now.

You can be an ideal weight but if you are shorter than your DH you can't always match their walking pace. OP shouldn't have to run the whole walk - it's not a walk then. Kids running about is normal and fun. A woman having to trot beside her DH just to keep up is not fun.

Genuine question, why?

Good for you. So pleased you had good alone time. Maybe they will be more considerate next time. Is this really the lesson DH wants to teach his sons?

No they weren't.
Dh went over the muddy bit first, and immediately walked on at a fast pace.
Kids went over it next, and trotted after him to try to catch up.
Mum went through it last, in unsuitable footwear because she'd lent her walking boots to a DC, so was a bit slower.
She asked H to wait up, he told her sharply to "keep up then" - very rude. Did he expect her to run up the hill?!
I'd have done just what OP did.