To tell friend her new partner was a former client of mine?

[Frienddilem]

Name changed for obvious reasons.

I previously worked as an escort, something I started during Uni and continued part time until two years ago when I finally stopped.

One of my friends who I live a couple of hours from these days but still message regularly and meet up at least twice a year, has been seeing a new man. She sent me a photo of him in the early days and I thought nothing of it.

However, on further inspection after my friend shared some specific details, I have realised he is someone who met me on a few occasions in my line of work. 3 or so years ago.

He was perfectly pleasant and polite so no concerns in that respect. However, I feel like morally, I owe it to my friend to tell her? But also feel terrible that she is really happy and I would come along and potentially ruin it.

Thoughts welcome please? If it helps, my friend is fully aware about my former ‘job’.

YABU - not my place to say anything
YANBU - definitely tell her

Surely in that case a strong recommendation to apply Claire’s law could be made without literally breaching GDPR?

Some of these comments are absolutely crazy. I can’t decide if it’s from jealousy??
I have always said that if I hadn’t been married (been with my husband since I was 18) this is definitely a line of work I could do.

What do you think people are jealous of?

Have you ever looked at UK Punting? No woman with an ounce of self respect, would want rapey men like that anywhere near her.

Why wouldn’t you do it whilst married? What’s stopping you? It’s just a ‘line of work’ after all.

Jealous? Of what? Allowing disgusting, smelly men to do whatever the hell they want to because they've paid you? And then discussing it in great detail and marking you out of 10 with other punters. Yes, I'm green with envy.

For anyone who is considering escorting...read Elis: Irish Call Girl.

I'd definitely want to know. I'd also want to know if a partner of mine had ever BEEN a sex worker.

Agree. The poster is also implying that sex workers have no morals in any other area, or is hypocritical to have them simply because they are selling sex.

Being lonely doesn't justify buying sex.

Where is she condemning her clients ? The comment about the money was made in retaliation to a poster who was making stupid and baseless accusations of blackmail.

How do you know this if you’ve never been so lonely snd desperate that you’ve paid someone in OP’s former line of work ?

The term is sex worker, and OP has already answered that.

Why would OP want to ‘get revenge’ on clients with whom she is engaging by choice and who, by her own admission, are paying her a lot of money for her services ? That makes no sense at all.

The term is "sex worker" to try to prettify and normalise prostitution. "Sex worker" also includes pimps and brothel keepers.

Oh fgs. No one needs to buy sex or use prostitutes. No one needs sex.

Maybe use some money gained on therapy to find out why you have so little self respect as to condider your body as a merchandise.

Ffs. The Samaritans have a free hotline.

I messaged my friend last night.

She appreciated me telling her and asked what ‘stage’ it was when I saw him. If it was when I was full service, she says that would be it over. But she thinks she’ll give him the benefit of the doubt for now given it was some time ago and everyone has a past.

Thanks for those who gave suggested messages, really helpful and I used a combination of these.

I suspect that relationship is now over.

all the best

I think she's foolish, but she's making an informed decision. You certainly have nothing to feel guilty about.

Of course they do. And for some that’s not enough. Or is MN now at the stage where it’s frowned on to admit the realities of life.

Which doesn’t apply to OP.

Think you’re in the minority there.