To think my child is difficult

[Letsgoupstairs]

That sounds really horrible and negative but …

I don’t think he has additional needs, although I haven’t entirely ruled it out. But he is not an easy child at all and although I feel like a real failure for admitting this, I just don’t enjoy him.I don’t enjoy spending time with him or his company. And that’s horrible.

DS1 has ADHD and copes brilliantly - because he is medicated! He copes far better than children who are struggling because they’re undiagnosed, because it’s a treatable condition.

This is not to say that there are any SEN at play here, we can’t know either way, and neither can OP.

Has your DS had ear infections before? May be worth speaking to the gp about a referral to ENT to discuss grommets.
My ds (who is nd but that’s by the by) had recurring ear infections. I could always tell one was on its way because his behaviour was awful. He didn’t have the language skills to tell me what was bothering him he just became a complete handful until the infection showed itself. He also had a speech delay because he had hearing loss. He needed speech and language therapy for a while.

My child has a 'label' and is well behaved. I don't assume SEN based on violence or naughtiness.
I suggested SEN on this thread because of the way op outlined her child's speech, and acknowledged that I could be wrong. I also shared a list of things to do with my child's speech and communication for op to read through, to see if she could relate them back to her child or not. Trying to be helpful.
Why that has been taken as an attack I don't know. It's actually very personal information that I chose to share about my little boy.

It is not within the realms of normal for a 5 year old to bite. It is a 'normal' phase between 18 months and 2.5 years old. By 3 years old it is no longer 'normal'. By 5 years old it is definitely not normal.

It's normal for 5 year olds to want to interject during stories. E.g. Story about a rabbit, 'We've got a rabbit! He's black'. It isn't 'normal' to say rambling phrases, as the OP describes.

It's normal for 5 year olds to hover by equipment, slightly closer than is polite, to indicate that they really want a turn soon. It isn't normal for 5 year olds to push and shove and try to force their way onto the equipment.

My son went through a difficult phase at 5. He started school quite young as he is a July baby. He was like a teenager. He defied everything we said. He would have enormous tantrums. I think looking back he was overwhelmed by school and I feel really guilty for not deferring him. But he turned 6 and he was like a new person! So he may turn a corner.

Child development is an oscillation, it is not linear. If a five year old gets frustrated enough, it will bite. It's a communication. A regression perhaps. Totally within the realms of normal. Not 'special needs'. Needs to be told, again, no we don't bite, and possibly removed from the situation etc.

'It's normal for 5 year olds to hover by equipment, slightly closer than is polite, to indicate that they really want a turn soon. It isn't normal for 5 year olds to push and shove and try to force their way onto the equipment.'

This is verging on the absurd. Children are not 'slightly closer than is polite' robots. It's absolutely within the realms of normal for a five year old, perhaps only just not 4, to push and shove and say get off. Again, needs to be told no.

It depends on how often. Pushing into other kids once or twice when over-excited, normal. But not habitually. By five most kids have got the hang of waiting their turn most of the time. Most kids' communication is good enough by then not to have to resort to biting. Yes hopefully the problem will resolve itself espeically once any hearing problems are sorted out but I can see why the OP is worried.

And the strategy of telling kids not to do whatever and removing them from the situation is fine whether it's officially "normal" or not. You just have to do a lot more of it. Though if it's serious you might end up avoiding the triggers more of the time, going to the park only when it's very quiet etc., until you're confident they've got the hang of it.

Yeah we really want the extra money a disabled child would give me. 🤑 My son is definitely autistic and it isn't his or my fault if the schools don't have enough funding. If he needs more attention from a TA than say another child in reception this year that isn't my issue or concern.

Also getting a diagnosis might mean support and extra funding for the school. Probably why my child will hopefully have a EHCP.