To consider rehoming dog

[Celtic1hair]

Looking for advice as to be honest I cant really think straight. We got a dog 4 years ago, small cavapoo after years of wanting one, did not go into it blindly, Ive had dogs all my life and am well aware of all of the needs and sacrifices needed. Unfortunately he is super anxious. Had seperation anxiety to the point I was genuinely worried he would have a heart attack after being left for 10 minutes. This went on and on, ripping doors, paintwork whilst scratching for attention. We have had 5 dog trainers who cant seem to manage him, hes now become ultra wary of strangers and if anyone comes to the door the barking is relentless. I literally cant have workmen into the house because of him, even when put into the kitchen I have to sit and hold him on a lead the entire time. One dog trainer suggested getting a dog for company and nothing has changed at all, just added workload to the whole issue. I have three children, and the dog is amazing with them, but they cant have friends over because of his behaviour, constant barking and if they come close even growling. My husband cant bear it, so Im bearing the brunt of his frustration too and we have had some awful rows. I adore the little thing but I cant carry on like this for another 10 years.

Residential training wouldn’t solve this OP. You are completely right to discount it

I completely understand where you are at

did you phone Lindsay at doodle
trust there was a number - I feel
confident they can help

I spoke to the lady at spaniel aid last night and she needs to discuss the case with the other trustees and hopefully get back to me by tomorrow, I will wait to hear from her before contacting doodle aid so I don't waste her time in case there is something going on behind the scenes x

Ah ok - I try thought read she wasn’t sure she could help

doodle trust would be happy to have a conversation about what you should do with no commitment I’m sure

anyway keeping things crossed for you 🤞

Thank you! Sorry maybe I wasn't clear in my posts! Lady from spaniel aid isn't sure because he will need a special foster so she's not sure of they are in a position to say yes, so she needs to run the decision past the trustees first, so hopefully will have a decision by tomorrow either way.

Oh wow that’s good news

you are doing the best for him. I promise 🥰

I’ve only ever heard genuinely good things about them as a rescue. Fingers crossed you get some luck and they can help 🤞

You are 100% doing the right thing / not just for you and your children, for your dog too

For a really anxious dog to thrive it needs to live with a calm, confident dog or dogs plural.

Any new home would ideally already have a calm confident dog in situ.

Trouble is with the cute pretty dogs it's the little old ladies who want to adopt them. They often want a furry baby and the dog gets isolated with a daily on lead, slow walk around the block. Then, due to being babied, often develop other issues such as resource guarding etc.

I've got to say she was amazing on the phone, very understanding and very very thorough. I'm just keeping everything crossed x

I really don’t think you are a vet assistant from the tripe you keep spouting

andnL you’ve teamed up with other unsympathetic and not grasped the issue poster

so
pleased

lol maybe yes, maybe no.

I’ve met some fantastic vet assistants in my time. Also a large number who can’t tell one end of a dog from another, particularly when it comes to behaviour issues

Guess which band I think this poster comes from??

Thank you, you have been absolutely lovely to me. When I started this thread I can honestly say I was at my wits end and had absolutely no clue what to do. The thing is with something like this, unless you are living through it it's impossible to explain to people who haven't experienced it and the only other person is my husband and we are at loggerheads. I absolutely needed to gain perspective and the more I've really started to speak about it openly without trying to downplay it to avoid adding fuel to the fire, it's become absolutely clear it's not sustainable. This led to me and DH having our first real conversation without putting blame on each other and being resentful for about two years, and to be honest looking at it now I'm gobsmacked that it hasn't broken us because both of us have been feeling so resentful of the other about the whole situation and instead of pulling together we have been pushing each other. Trying to explain it to other people IRL makes it seem so trivial, but each issue is part of a bigger picture isn't it? Half of the issue is I never ever thought I'd ever even consider giving a dog up and maybe there was a bit of ego involved that made me pigheaded, but like I say I've grown up with dogs and they have always been part of the family. Its also so difficult because 90% of the time he's absolutely my dream dog, but talking it through on this thread has made me realise I've become a prisoner in my own home, as have my family and the second dog.

The holding his collar and trying to soothe him would have exacerbated the situation, because if he was free behind the baby gate he could have moved away, as it was he felt restrained and threatened.

There are many rescue groups on Facebook.

I agree it could probably have been handled better but I’m unsure what you are now trying to achieve with all theses random ‘posts of wisdom’
Apart from making yourself feel superior

No I'm sorry this is just absolutely ridiculous and nonsensical. Should I have just let him carry on then? In the hope he would magically just stop? And ask yourself would this be an issue for a dog without problems? Because if I need to hold my other spaniel by the collar for some reason he doesn't then snap at a child. I am my dogs biggest defender but you are trying to excuse the inexcusable here. And I'm saying that as the person who did excuse it and has just not had any visitors in the house since so we don't experience it again, and am just starting to realise how bloody stupid that is.

Oh thank you - I’m glad I helped - so glad 💐

i absolutely do know - because of supporting my best friend through similar and all the trainers etc over three years

I don’t think all the posters that don’t get it dont realise that over 4 years youve tried everything - and I’m sorry but there’s something about this particular cross that isn’t right

wow you and hubby…I think you can safely say nothing can beat you if you've got through this!!!

I’ve been fiercely defensive of posters saying the wrong thing because they are just not getting it - I want to shout FOUR YEARS FOUR YEARS! THEY HAVE NO IDEA

When I helped with my friends cavapoo - he had resource guarding - my husband was like seems ok - he’ll be ok here with us - but I knew and wasn’t naive - within a couple of hours something happened and I turned and the dogs eyes were different and thought here we go - hence a three hour guarding slippers!!! And us all having to give him 4 feet wide birth

another time I was at her house and she had no bits or pieces anywhere - can you imagine that with children (god those children are going to be tidy when they grow up) I remember it was Xmas and I dropped a sweet wrapper on the floor and we all looked at each other - would this be another 4 hours we all had to go out the room…

I really really do get it - my friend got so good at reading the eye change - they tried everything like you

interestingly when she put it to her son about rehoming he was for it in that he said maybe it’s best mummy - so maybe your kids will be glad too - I believe it taught him something really good about doing everything you can and then finding the best solution not just staying stuck and everyone miserable

we’ve had loads of photos of the dog in his new home and he’s doing great - will never go away but so much reduced

I think the trainer coined it - hence need to start afresh in a new environment / he’s just got into too much of a state and being reinforced negatively all the time - you can’t break that

I am a VCA and a qualified behaviourist (University of Hull). I have experience plus level 3, degree level and postgraduate qualifications.
I also have had multiple dogs and love a "reject" like my street dogs from Spain and I just find dogs very easy. It's all about consistency and starting as you mean to go on - whilst building that solid bond of trust.

You have no idea and clearly not very experienced

sometimes qualifications just don’t do it

So are you seriously telling me that every dog can be fixed, in every situation and home setting, no matter what? And the two vets and 4 previous behaviourists are somehow ALL missing a trick that you alone could sort with a couple of bog basic exercises?

Hmm…. That doesn’t sound like an experienced professional to me.

Bless you, OP, what a hard situation. My friend had to pts her little dog a few years ago in similar circumstances, he eventually did bite someone (not a child) despite masses and masses of training and professional help. It absolutely broke her heart to let him go but her life had become so small in trying to live it around around her dog’s needs that (even before the bite) the situation was just awful. She lived alone with the dog so no kids to consider, but he really was her wee chum so saying goodbye was a very hard thing to do.

Exactly…