I’m a teacher; does this mean school holidays are solely my responsibility?

[teacakeandsandwiches]

Or is it reasonable to ask DH to take some annual leave then so I can actually have a life of my own a bit?

You can probably tell which way I’m leaning. This holiday I’ve arranged to see friends tomorrow and Thursday. DH quite put out he has to take time off but honestly is this really so unfair?

Now only have one at home it feels bizarrely easy.

The year I spent with a four year old and a one year old was definitely more work than teaching 😱

I remember the September after 6 weeks at home with a 4 and 1 year old..... Shudder.

School was easier!!

You’re not obliged to answer us but you’re the one posting on a public forum asking for advice and opinions at the end of the day, if you get upset by opinions don’t ask for them.

I stand by everything I’ve said whether it’s upsetting to you or not. Instead of getting sulky and defensive, learn from it.

I don’t think it sounds like either you or your partner are prioritising your children and are being incredibly selfish. They get one childhood. You seem to both be thinking of yourselves and your own lives more than them and tbh from that I don’t understand why you had children together. I stand by that whether you want to hear it or not.

Put your kids first. You are STILL yet to tell me when they get time with their family, as a family, okay they get time with you, but where’s their family time?

And I mean full family days, not evenings. It’s their childhood, for gods sake.

Three days in nursery?

You say you work two days a week?

Cant you get you hair done and lunches on the day you have alone each week

I’m not alone. I do think you’re just trolling now, sorry.

See I disagree with you a bit here, in that I don't think it's a case of not prioritising the kids, but not prioritising the family. It's taking shifts at babysitting rather than time together. For so many families, that time together is a very limited resource, but here is not.

I get that it's hard, and that child free time really helps. I don't begrudge that but one person booking most leave when the kids aren't around (avoiding them) and the other being content that dad isn't around because he'll be annoying, and only wanting him to take time off to take his 'shift' will definitely have an impact on the parents relationship, and on the kids as they grow up.

@LittleBearPad last year I worked three days a week and both children did three days in nursery.

This year, I work two days a week and this DD does two days in nursery. Hopefully that is clear enough for you.

Maybe it is not prioritising the family, perhaps that’s better wording. I’ll take that.

But equally that’s not fair on the kids either, they need family time or they may as well have two single parents (which is never ideal).

It’s their childhood and they can’t even prioritise being a family for this brief period when the kids WANT mum and dad around? That’s what is sounding incredibly selfish and unfair to me and again leads me to why have kids together if you don’t want to be a family?

They have every weekend together!

Family time is overrated. We need down time to recharge and refresh. OP is getting very little at the moment.

Two single parents who have regular holidays together, weekends together and live together. I see.

Anyway, I shouldn’t engage. I don’t think you’re posting with genuine intentions here @Banannanana

Then why are you both wanting time off without the family instead of with the family?

The point stands, you have a choice between having time all four of you or time
alone and you’ve both chosen time alone. How’s that anything OTHER than choosing yourselves over your family and thus your kids?

The OP wanted 6 hours alone since July fgs. Hardly all her holiday alone.

Not sure why I'm arguing with you, head brick wall.

Tbh, she's getting the same amount (not much) as pretty much every other parent. It's a rare luxury as a parent to be able to have child free days off.

It's not a race to the bottom, and by virtue of the OP being a teacher, she has the option of that luxury, if she coordinates on dates with her husband. That's absolutely fine, I just don't get the dads reluctance to spend time with his kids, and the OPs attitude that he's not needed, except for when taking a solo shift.

Yeah the DHs 2 weeks alone aren't a brilliant advert but it's not awful when put in the OPs context. She's clearly trying to avoid a repeat this year by asking him to take some AL early on.

Ime plenty of parents with bookable AL take term time days off to have a day without the kids. It's not unusual.

Of which she only works 2 days so the 3 days would I assume be spent majority of the time he will be spending with his wife & his youngest child.

Exactly this, the dad sounds even worse here!

@Banannanana assuming you are genuine do I really need to explain every single little hour to you, tediously and painfully?

Let’s take this week. We had the weekend together but we weren’t glued together. That’s not because we don’t love one another or spend time together, it’s because sometimes we need to take one child one place while the other takes the other child to a different place. That’s just the nature of family life with more than one child.

We have regular days out together. How can you keep saying such awful things about me and my family with no provocation from me; I haven’t been unpleasant or rude to you. You have literally just laid into me at length because of a tiny, tiny percentage of time without my children across a year. It’s awful, it really is. Please stop it!

I can say things because you asked for opinions. If you don’t want them don’t ask. I shall leave you alone here because clearly youve taken nothing I’ve said into consideration, not sure why you asked on here if you weren’t willing to take the replies tbh but there we are.

If you read through I have said multiple times you CAN have time without your children, but you really aren’t putting family time together as a priority. You and your partner both, but I’ll give it to you that it’s more him.

Opinions are fine. Attacks are not fine; it is not fine to say I do not want my children or that I don’t deserve them; that is not justified, it is a terrible thing to say, absolutely terrible.

It’s an opinion, not an attack, based on what you’ve said that is my opinion on you (and more so your partners) situation.

An attack would be to say you’re a rubbish parent, you’re horrible to your children, etc. I haven’t said that. I’ve not commented on things that haven’t got to do with what you’ve asked.

It’s not an attack every time you’re being called out. It’s not an attack every time someone gives an opinion you don’t agree with.

I stand by what I’ve said. If this upsets you, maybe think about why. If you knew it had no truth to it it would be water off a ducks back surely?

Find me where I’ve said you don’t deserve children. Quote it. Or just don’t put words in my mouth.

Your posts have been very nasty and yes, downright attacks which is why several of them have been deleted.