Discovered DP has knickers. Should I be worried?

[NickyKat]

So today, Valentine's Day of all days, I discovered that DP of 6 years has a collection of knickers in his boxers drawer. He has about 12 pairs - mostly hipsters, boyshorts and briefs. I brought it up with him and he seemed embarrassed and said he likes the feel of the material more than men's cotton boxers.

I had another look later on when he was getting ready for our meal out and they're all 14-16 which seems about his size. But I've also never washed them and still wash multiple boxers every week.

I've never come across this with any of my previous partners and my mind is racing. We had a lovely meal out but it was clear he didn't want to talk about it.

I don't think they're another woman's because why would he have so many if they'd been left after a sneaky visit while I was away?

Am I being unreasonable to think this is not normal? Is it a red flag? I have so many questions but he's not telling me anything other than they're his and he likes wearing them.

How do you know?

I've answered that already👆 - educated guess, life experience etc. I can't prove it, obvs. 🤷

All those who say ‘I use male boxers because they are comfy’ (and therefore there’s no problem if my partner uses my lacy ones), how do you??
I use my husband’s when I don’t have any pj shorts mostly, but my normal clothes would never fit over them!
I could never use them (logistically, with my own clothes) as a way to feel different in public.

Thin end of the wedgie…..

How’s that going for you so far? Since you went to the trouble of quoting my post to highlight the fact you’re ignoring it 🤣🤣

Then you shouldn't have claimed that your comment was accurate.
It's just guesswork, isn't it?

I've said it's guesswork about 4 times! Take it metaphorically rather than literally
Of course it's guesswork, I'm not pretending otherwise, you know I haven't conducted an academic peer reviewed survey. But it's not random, it's based on my experience, and knowledge of male friends. Please read other posts I've made in this thread.
So yes, it's a bloody guess!

A guess based on what you want to be true so you can try to normalise your own behaviour and try to gaslight the women on this forum. Unfortunately for you, we know our men and we aren't stupid.

I have no agenda here, just saying what I believe to be true. 🤷
I'm an openly bisexual single person, very gregarious and experimental, and people tend to tell me their secrets and proclivities. Just the way it is 🙂
In the end, it really doesn't matter, and it's a distraction from the OP, so I'm cutting out at this point.

Are you new here?

An update. We're still together. I'm not as creeped out as I was after having a few messages from some of you that have had similar experiences.

Obviously I'm annoyed about the secrecy but I can understand his reservations about telling me. But it's the secrecy that made my head go into overdrive and stress mode.

Thanks for all the comments and messages.

NK

🤮 Just another bloke who gets off on oversharing on a women’s forum.

Yawn 🥱

To be honest, I find any man on Mumsnet a bit weird

Mumsnet does seem to attract a certain type of bloke. Imagine coming onto a mainly women’s form as a man, to tell us he is very gregarious and experimental, and people tend to tell him their secrets and proclivities, to normalise men shaving their cock mad balls into women’s underwear. 🤢

So many awful men on here.

*shoving their cock and balls

Oh come on! You don’t need statistics to prove human beings are curious creatures. If the 60-70% of women on this thread have said they’ve worn their partner’s boxers at some point, then it’s v. likely 60-70% of male partners have done the same with their partner’s knickers!

I wish the OP the best of luck. But I can hear the OP screaming in two years that she wishes she listened to everyone who's been in the same situation though.

It’s very fdifferent. Your an average bloke wouldn’t fit into your average woman’s knickers. Many men wouldn’t wear feminine clothing in the same way men would wear men’s clothing. You can try to pretend it’s the same but it’s really not.

Yes @CatDogHorse if I found out my husband was posting on Mum's net, I'd look at him in the same way as if I found out he was wearing ladies undergarments. ;)

You'll either become a trans activist or a trans widow.

There is no third pathway.

My DH is 6ft with massive shoulders but still fits into some of my size 8 clothes, and generally looks better in them than I do.
I picked him because, although he's a straight, whiskery, strong and masculine man, he's also quite camp, has long eyelashes that I like to put mascara on, and he looks great in my knickers.
I don't think any of these things are serious, mildly titilating maybe, and tongue in cheek (but he still looks hot). Maybe the OP's other half isn't as confident as mine is in his sense of self.
Humans are pretty multifaceted and nuanced, and one thing doesn't always result in the same conclusion.
If I were the OP, I'd ask to see him in the knickers, I bet she'd like it 😊

Well said. Mines 6ft 4, definitely not gay or a cross dresser. But can be in touch with his feminine side which I manage to indulge in especially after a few 🍷🍷 he is secure, I am secure. I think a few people on here can easily give advice, but If the shoe was on the other foot, I really doubt they would take their own advice.

Surely it depends what kind of clothes you're wearing. And what kind of boxers.

When I was in my late teens I used to wear my then boyfriend's boxers under loose-fitting jeans/combat trousers. They were the traditional, loose boxers. But tight-fitting 'boxer briefs' or 'boxer trunks' can easily be worn in the same way as as women's 'boy shorts' can. I also wore my DP's underwear when my luggage was delayed on holiday once.

Why doesn't he just wear men's briefs? They're for men, but have a similar shape to knickers 😏