My child is being assaulted

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DD 7has been assaulted multiple times by 2 boys in her year. She has been punched, slapped, kicked and pushed over.

Schools advice is for her to "keep away from the boys she knows are known to be volatile" so when they are playing whole year games, for example, the school have suggested she "uses clear language to ensure they are ready for theor turn, so as not to provoke their anger" and "when explained to the girls that their are some boys who are prone to angry outbursts, and the girls should avoid being around them"

AIBU, or is this absolutely ridiculous?!

Absolutely outrageous. Completely unacceptable

Sounds ridiculous to me although my DD was being attacked by girls but the point is they should be safe.

Diabolical but not surprised as have experienced horrible bullying with ds for years, bullies never get dealt with, always excused in some bullshit way.

“not to provoke their anger”

WTF?

did you actually speak to the Head?

My child wouldn't go in before school sort her safety. I would be in the office on Monday to tell HT.

Why are children supposed accept being assaulted at school? Would any adult accept being assaulted at work? No, of course not.

Have you made a formal complaint in writing?
Document everything and follow the formal complaints procedure. Report to the local council safeguarding lead too.

Spoke to the head who said "I have explained to x name (my child), that she should stay away from boys she knows can be prone to angry outbursts, and if she approaches them, we will see that as her provoking them"
So, in other words you're teaching my daughter to walk on eggshells around males, in case she provokes them to attack her?" Surely I'm not being ridiculous here to be absolutely livid?!

This.

Completely outrageous that the school are teaching girls as young as this that it is their responsibility to not provoke male anger.

No you are not!

Oh my.

This is so outrageous that I’m embarrassed to say I can barely believe what you are telling us.

Ask for the schools that bullying policy and complaints policy

Complain in writing and copy in the chair of Governors.

No, you’re not being ridiculous, but the school’s response is.

I’d try to get everything in writing. They have a legal duty to safeguard your child while they are in their care. Tell them that in your view they have been failing on this and ask what they plan to do to rectify the situation. Your child is doing nothing wrong. She shouldn’t have to change her behaviours.

Out of interest, has anyone successfully sued a teacher / head teacher / school / local authority for failing to safeguard their child adequately?

Put that in writing in a complaint to the Head, and cc in the Chair of Governors. Thats a totally unacceptable response and needs to be taken further. I hope your DD is ok though.

This is absolutely disgusting, it's coming from the head teacher that boys can behave how they please, and that girls are responsible for the actions of boys. As others have suggested, I would be taking my daughter out of school and escalating this. I'd go to the papers if need be. Good luck OP.

You are right to be outraged, but if that is the head's attitude I doubt you will be able to change it. As someone who did change primary school due to bullying, I can tell you I'm eternally grateful that my mum made the decision to cut our losses and move me. I know you will fear the upheaval for her, but it teaches your daughter that you value her safety and mental wellbeing more than any school. So its worth thinking about. Good luck, however you decide to approach this.

Is your daughter constantly going up to the 2 boys who she has been told to keep away from?

There are people on here who defend these boys as they’re only little 🙄 (not seen in this thread thankfully but in too many) but this is how violence against women is allowed to flourish. When they’re small and get to bully and hurt girls, when it gets brushed off and the victim asked to police themselves. You’re completely right to challenge the school.

Wtf? How about the two violent boys don’t get to abuse other pupils?!

I find this jaw droppingly appalling! It is NOT up to your child to placate others.

Remembering that I dont know you, the school, or anyone else involved... is there a chance your DD actively seeks to pick fights/bully one of those boys? Are the school trying to say it's "six of one and half a dozen of the other", such that they BOTH need to stay away from each other.

I take it back, the apologists are already here.

What on Earth have I just read?

Of course your daughter should be safe in school. They are victim blaming her!
The violent little shits should be excluded.

This is making my blood boil just reading it. Imagine if a child was being assaulted like this at home by their parents - they'd be removed!