“Why would you have casual sex? Do you want a man to use your body and be done with you?l”

[Plorah]

I was with my family last weekend for a girls night. We were having a few glasses in the kitchen when an aunt said this to my 19 yo niece. I was taken aback and assumed everyone else was.

All the women present AGREED. I was really shocked as no one there is exactly a nun.

I’ve had a couple of ons and they were fun and carefree. I didn’t like the implication that sex is not about a woman’s pleasure.

This is an insane take right? I don’t know if it’s just me but a lot of women I know are aligning a lot more with radical feminism these days ie Viewing and men quite cynically.

Those present were ALL in relationships. Just weird

I was just surprised this take was popular.

Meaning women who have ons are mentally ill and then men aren’t (my question)?

Do people worry about STIs and pregnancy? But shit for a child to not know who their dad is, or possibility of a few, unless everyone having casual sex/ONS would automatically have an abortion if contraception failed

Rather a leap to imply that enjoying casual sex is the same as agreeing with prostitution and treating sex as a need. Also, ‘connection’ is an individual thing.

I don’t think that’s what is being said. Back in the day, and it’s obviously very different now, it was considered to be to men’s advantage to have casual sex. Men used to boast about it to their mates. As some men do.🙄

Obviously, that must have changed, judging by the responses on here snd elsewhere.

We all need to find what’s best for us - whether it’s longer term, or ONS.

Whatever floats your boat. 👍

You're also not speaking for women who enjoy sex and enjoy sex on casual terms. I know it might be hard to believe but some of us do get pleasure from the physical act of sex. We dont experience a unpleasant or neutral physical sensation coupled with emotional intimacy that we crave. We actually feel good things too.

I fele sorry for women who obviously haven't ever had pleasurable sex from a physical perspective and only experience the emotional part. They are missing out on a lot.

Why would you not know who the dad is? Do you know how women conceive? Do you know when they conceive? How much casuak sex do you think the average casual sexer has?

Why does that connection have to be a deeply committed romantic relationship? Why does it have to be the type of connection that you need? Maybe other people are fine with a more superficial connection.

Why cant you do oral or touch fluids?

I have had both FWB and ONS.

A lot of men really pride themselves on being skilled in the bedroom. Especially nowadays..

Did you really tell a grown woman that she doesn't know her own mind because you believe women cant be sane/stable and enjoy casual sex?!

A lot of stupid women (and stupid men) see sex as something men do TO women not HAVE WITH women.

I would have pointed out to them that they are equally using each other then left them to it. No reasoning with stupid people.

Of course there can be situations where one person is being “used”. But it’s not automatic just because two people engage in casual sex with each other.

I do wonder - what people like this think when two women have casual sex with each other. Who is using whom?

I know. This thread is so wild.

As for sex being like a good meal? Exactly. And sometimes I'm hungry. I don't always need the intimate connection.

Of course I understand taking pleasure in sex (I like sex). I am saying, however, that casual sex can be damaging and sex positivity is not an acceptable feminist stance despite intersectional feminists being sex positive.

There are a fair few misogynists on MN.

Who see women as stupid little creatures who cannot possibly know their own minds.

What sort of connection do you want out of sex if not a loving bond?

STD status

No, I said wasn't going to do that. Then I explained reasons why I don't agree with her.

So women having the sex they want isnt a feminist stance? That is what sex positivity is about. It is about everyone having the consensual, ethical sex that they want to have without social or legal repercussions. That includes no sex.

Why would you be against that?

I can understand arguing that we do not have a sex positive society (I mean, read this thread!), but I cannot see why a healthy minded person would not want to strive for one.

This is hilarious.

Some people have sex because they are horny and want to have sex?

Eh?

No, I told her I wasn't going to do that. Then I explained the reasons why I did not agree with how she saw sexuality and casual sex.

A fun one. Someone funny, adventurous, physically hot. A lustful spark.

That suggests sex is a need, not a want. It's a want. Just because you want something doesn't mean it is a good thing.

I think theyve never experienced good sex
They've experienced sex in which they felt emotionally rewarded for tolerating. So they let a man have sex with them regularly so he married her on appreciation and she got the stability she wanted kind of thing.

So do I. I don't think ONS/casual sex is going to give that - never found it to do so.

I need sex to feel a sense of overall positive wellbeing. Of course now I have that in my marriage but there was a time where I didnt want or need a serious relationship but did want sex. Thus the casual relationships/ONS.