Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Trans- gender dysphoria- mental illness?

206 replies

TheBlueKoala · 11/02/2026 21:06

There are so many young people suffering with MH problems. They are trying to find an identity and nowadays when gender is à la carte it seems epidemic.

Looking at the small percentage of transgender people and high prolific crimes something does tell me that there seems to be a correlation between transgender and mental illness. Which makes me believe that it's really a question of gender dysphoria as in identity dysphoria in general. Ofcourse there are exceptions but I think these recent cases should be taken into consideration. What are we doing to our children telling them that they can choose gender as in a restaurant menu? I think it's harmful and noone below 18 should be allowed to change whatsoever- they can call themselves human- as we all are.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/world-news/2026/02/11/canada-school-shooting-tumbler-ridge-british-columbia/

https://abcnews.com/US/teen-sentenced-life-prison-2019-school-shooting/story?id=71949051

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.pbs.org/newshour/amp/nation/as-officials-searched-for-charlie-kirks-shooter-suspect-confessed-to-his-partner-prosecutor-says

https://derechadiario.com.ar/us/argentina/transsexual-schizophrenic-far-left-murderer-young-swedish-woman-after-attempting-to-rape-girl

Teen sentenced to life in prison for May 2019 school shooting

A teen who opened fire in a suburban Denver STEM school last year was sentenced to life in prison.

https://abcnews.com/US/teen-sentenced-life-prison-2019-school-shooting/story?id=71949051

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Seagullstopitnow · 12/02/2026 13:28

Witchcraftandhokum · 12/02/2026 11:18

"Terfs are all about protecting kids from the root"

They really aren't, every single.one I've encountered has been utterly vile.

You've encountered many many more than you will ever know.

TheKeatingFive · 12/02/2026 13:32

Seagullstopitnow · 12/02/2026 13:28

You've encountered many many more than you will ever know.

See I'm not convinced of this. Particularly trans identifying men.

If this is true, where are the examples of men in the public eye that pass as women? Because I genuinely can't think of one.

Helleofabore · 12/02/2026 13:37

TheKeatingFive · 12/02/2026 13:32

See I'm not convinced of this. Particularly trans identifying men.

If this is true, where are the examples of men in the public eye that pass as women? Because I genuinely can't think of one.

ah.. Keating.

Isn't Seagulls telling the poster that they have encountered more 'terfs' than they will ever know?

Which is highly likely. Because the majority of the public hold similar opinions about female single sex provisions as those labelled 'vile terfs.' And the research into whether people feel free to express those opinions has shown that those labelled 'vile terfs' will not give others their full or honest opinion for fear of the repercussions.

Seagullstopitnow · 12/02/2026 13:40

TheKeatingFive · 12/02/2026 13:32

See I'm not convinced of this. Particularly trans identifying men.

If this is true, where are the examples of men in the public eye that pass as women? Because I genuinely can't think of one.

I was referring to terfs 🙂
We are everywhere
I have acquaintances that have no idea at all. I can't mention it around them because they have been personally involved in the "cancellation" of a public figure.

I don't really want to be doxxed for my legally held belief. So I quietly plug way in the background contributing to fundraisers for people like the Darlington nurses etc.

There's a hell of a lot of us.
We've been using your bathrooms for years 😆

Seagullstopitnow · 12/02/2026 13:42

Helleofabore · 12/02/2026 13:37

ah.. Keating.

Isn't Seagulls telling the poster that they have encountered more 'terfs' than they will ever know?

Which is highly likely. Because the majority of the public hold similar opinions about female single sex provisions as those labelled 'vile terfs.' And the research into whether people feel free to express those opinions has shown that those labelled 'vile terfs' will not give others their full or honest opinion for fear of the repercussions.

Cross posted 🙂
That's exactly it 🙂

TheKeatingFive · 12/02/2026 13:42

Seagullstopitnow · 12/02/2026 13:40

I was referring to terfs 🙂
We are everywhere
I have acquaintances that have no idea at all. I can't mention it around them because they have been personally involved in the "cancellation" of a public figure.

I don't really want to be doxxed for my legally held belief. So I quietly plug way in the background contributing to fundraisers for people like the Darlington nurses etc.

There's a hell of a lot of us.
We've been using your bathrooms for years 😆

Oh sorry, I completely misunderstood 😳

Helleofabore · 12/02/2026 13:42

"We've been using your bathrooms for years 😆"

Indeed we have!

WelcometomyUnderworld · 12/02/2026 13:47

Witchcraftandhokum · 12/02/2026 11:20

Unless you are a medical health professional who assessed my nephew before he killed himself then how dare you be so fucking presumptuous.

I don’t mean to cause offence, so this will be my final comment on this - but even considering suicide is a mental health crisis. Mentally well people don’t kill themselves.

I’m almost 100% certain if everyone in my life started referring to me by a male name and he/him, suicide still wouldn’t cross my mind.

Gloriia · 12/02/2026 13:49

WelcometomyUnderworld · 12/02/2026 13:47

I don’t mean to cause offence, so this will be my final comment on this - but even considering suicide is a mental health crisis. Mentally well people don’t kill themselves.

I’m almost 100% certain if everyone in my life started referring to me by a male name and he/him, suicide still wouldn’t cross my mind.

Edited

Yes surely suicide in itself is the result of mental health illness regardless of contributory factors.

Sympathy to anyone who has lost anyone to suicide but it is never as simple as someone wouldn't use their desired pronouns.

BillieWiper · 12/02/2026 13:56

I agree gender dysphoria is a form of MI.
It's similar in some ways to body dysmorphia, anorexia, people who get addicted to steroids and getting more and more 'big'.

You're seeing your body in a way that isn't true. It's in your mind that it is/should be a certain way.

Like those people that think their leg isn't supposed to be there and deliberately have it cut off.

Gloriia · 12/02/2026 13:56

I think it is weird to think we are called 'terfs' for saying men can of course wear dresses and tights but they aren't women, I'd even advise any of them with lipstick shades if they asked for tips .

It is crazy that stating the obvious labels us 'haterz'.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 12/02/2026 14:12

Scramado · 12/02/2026 13:25

I also think it’s unfair to tell gender questioning kids that the public will affirm them. They won’t. That’s how we got ourselves into such a mess over this. Just as Helen Joyce said, once a parent tells their child that they can change sex and everyone will accept the child in their new sex, that parent had committed to the promise and will therefore fight to the end, past anyone questioning their crazy logic to back up their promise to their child.

If they had just said change your name if you want to but you can’t expect people to play along because changing sex is impossible we’d all be in a much more gentle world.

I fully agree.

Underthinker · 12/02/2026 14:40

Underthinker · 11/02/2026 23:03

It depends what you count and how. The vast majority of US shootings in general are gang and drug related.

If you only count school mass (4+ fatalities) shootings in the US and Canada, if I have got this right from Wikipedia, it looks like there have only been 9 in the last 5 years and 2 of those have been trans shooters. So 22%.

But obviously school shootings are rare, and one incident skews the data strongly

I think it's more useful to look widely and see how a mix of aggressive ideology, a sense of persecution, and poor mental health within the trans community may be contributing to a wider pattern of violent crime of all types.

Oh I said there were 2 of 9 mass school shootings perpetrated by trans students over the last 5 years, but it turns out there was another one in 2025 that wasn't on the wikipedia list (perhaps because although classed as a school shooting it took place off site at a church). If you count that one then that's 3/10 so 30%. That is quite high if you believe there is no correlation with trans identity and violence.

FlirtsWithRhinos · 12/02/2026 14:44

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 12/02/2026 07:41

I don’t believe in any trans identity to be honest- I think it’s the wrong solution for the wrong problem.

I think this person’s gender identity is irrelevant to what they have done- not a cause, just a symptom of the disturbed messy world inside their head.

If I were trying to identify potential school shooters then I’d add it to the list of warning signs. I don’t think it’s a key contributing factor.

Sadly I think that's not entirely true.

The messy head may be why they first fell into the belief that their mind is somehow "transgender", but the online communities and extremist culture they then find themselves part of absolutely messes them up further.

Just look at the PPs calling anyone who quite rationally questions the belief in "men who are male on the outside but really women on the inside because of something in their heads" vile and accusing them of being motivated not by the honest observation that what is being claimed is nonsensical, sexist and harmful to everyone include trans people, but by some sort of dumb irrational animal hatred of trans people themselves.

If that is what young trans people are telling each other is happening "out there", no wonder they are becoming embattled, isolated and paranoid.

Basquervill · 12/02/2026 14:49

Gloriia · 12/02/2026 13:56

I think it is weird to think we are called 'terfs' for saying men can of course wear dresses and tights but they aren't women, I'd even advise any of them with lipstick shades if they asked for tips .

It is crazy that stating the obvious labels us 'haterz'.

Calling people terfs or indeed cis.. is more evidence of mental lack of health. Trying to grab shared reality and distort it. Sad.

XelaM · 12/02/2026 14:53

NewGirlInTown · 11/02/2026 21:19

Believing you can change sex IS a mental illness and should be treated as such.
The amount of resources wasted on indulging the illness (or fetish for some) could easily be allocated to supporting these people.
The so-called ‘trans agenda’ is complete and utter bullshit.

Exactly this.

Of course it's a mental illness thinking you're not the sex you're born. It's completely crazy and society has a lot to answer for indulging this insanity.

pixieee · 12/02/2026 14:56

Yes I agree it's a mental illness. If body dysmorphia is a mental illness then so is being transgender.

This from a journal that actually talks about it being declassified as a mental illness and saying it's not about choice or following fads:

'.......recent studies comparing transgender and cisgender persons show differences in the cerebral networks involved in own body perception in the context of self (Manzouri and Savic 2019; Nota et al. 2017), and in the patterns of brain connectivity that might affect one’s sense of body congruence (Moody et al. 2021). If proven, a biological aetiology would destigmatize transgender behaviour.'

I then googled 'do people with body dysmorphia have differences in the cerebral networks involved in own body perception in the context of self' and google said:

'Yes, individuals with Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) exhibit significant differences in brain structure, function, and connectivity within networks responsible for processing visual information, emotions, and self-representation.'

So if body dysmorphia is a mental illness then surely so must be being transgender.

Hoardasurass · 12/02/2026 15:30

pixieee · 12/02/2026 14:56

Yes I agree it's a mental illness. If body dysmorphia is a mental illness then so is being transgender.

This from a journal that actually talks about it being declassified as a mental illness and saying it's not about choice or following fads:

'.......recent studies comparing transgender and cisgender persons show differences in the cerebral networks involved in own body perception in the context of self (Manzouri and Savic 2019; Nota et al. 2017), and in the patterns of brain connectivity that might affect one’s sense of body congruence (Moody et al. 2021). If proven, a biological aetiology would destigmatize transgender behaviour.'

I then googled 'do people with body dysmorphia have differences in the cerebral networks involved in own body perception in the context of self' and google said:

'Yes, individuals with Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) exhibit significant differences in brain structure, function, and connectivity within networks responsible for processing visual information, emotions, and self-representation.'

So if body dysmorphia is a mental illness then surely so must be being transgender.

Until fairly recently gender dysphoria was recognised as a form of body dismorphia and a mental illness, campaigners got it removed and reclassified which was a massive mistake and failure by the authors of the dsm5

Leafstamp · 12/02/2026 20:49

Gloriia · 12/02/2026 13:49

Yes surely suicide in itself is the result of mental health illness regardless of contributory factors.

Sympathy to anyone who has lost anyone to suicide but it is never as simple as someone wouldn't use their desired pronouns.

Indeed. And it is well known that it can be harmful to attribute suicide to any one particular cause.

Professor Appleby has repeatedly warned against not just the inaccuracy but the risks of suggesting that a person is at risk of suicide just because the rest of the world won’t bend to their ideas about pronouns and gender identities.

OVienna · 12/02/2026 20:57

FMLGFastMovingLuxuryGoods · 11/02/2026 22:20

I don’t think it’s entirely mental illness. I think it’s also shit parenting and being in a cult-like environment whereby someone tells a child if they’re not a stereotypical girl or boy they must be the opposite sex.

Poor kids. Imagine being so failed from so young.
It really baffles me why people don’t probe their kids more about why they feel like the opposite sex. And then tell them that liking cars, short hair and action figures doesn’t make them a boy.

We did not have this gender nonsense on the 80’s and 90’s. I wore the same clothes as my brothers, no pink and blue nonsense and I was a huge tomboy. Nobody ever suggested that made me a boy and I feel so sad that, in another time with another set of parents, I’d have been gaslighted into thinking there was something wrong with me

This, totally!!!

Remembertobekind · 13/02/2026 04:24

There are some terrifying yet odd views expressed in this thread! Small skinny boys become girls because they don't fit in with male stereotypes? One of my sons is shortish and very skinny but I have to say he's never suggested he would fit in better as a girl. He wants to go out with them - not become one of them. If this were true most male jockeys would have sought to become women years ago.

My husband and his brother were both sent off as young boys to fattening up camps which failed to have any effect whatsoever on their naturally thin frames but there seems to be no suggestion that they might then have thought they were girls rather than scrawny boys.

I narrowly escaped the same attempts at fattening up as my mother steadfastly refused to agree to the doctor's suggestion send me off to be fattened up given that she came from a naturally lean family herself. I did grow up with cowboy curtains though as my tomboyish mother had dearly wished for a son rather than a daughter and saw no reason to adjust her plans when she produced a daughter instead. I have to say that when I was pregnant people told me I was so feminine that they struggled to imagine me with sons. Obviously the cowboy curtains had no lasting effects. And my tomboyish mother was very very attractive in appearance as well. She collected more wedding proposals from very presentable men that anybody else I ever knew.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 13/02/2026 04:34

What’s your point?

Londonmummy66 · 13/02/2026 11:31

Remembertobekind · 13/02/2026 04:24

There are some terrifying yet odd views expressed in this thread! Small skinny boys become girls because they don't fit in with male stereotypes? One of my sons is shortish and very skinny but I have to say he's never suggested he would fit in better as a girl. He wants to go out with them - not become one of them. If this were true most male jockeys would have sought to become women years ago.

My husband and his brother were both sent off as young boys to fattening up camps which failed to have any effect whatsoever on their naturally thin frames but there seems to be no suggestion that they might then have thought they were girls rather than scrawny boys.

I narrowly escaped the same attempts at fattening up as my mother steadfastly refused to agree to the doctor's suggestion send me off to be fattened up given that she came from a naturally lean family herself. I did grow up with cowboy curtains though as my tomboyish mother had dearly wished for a son rather than a daughter and saw no reason to adjust her plans when she produced a daughter instead. I have to say that when I was pregnant people told me I was so feminine that they struggled to imagine me with sons. Obviously the cowboy curtains had no lasting effects. And my tomboyish mother was very very attractive in appearance as well. She collected more wedding proposals from very presentable men that anybody else I ever knew.

Which is your personal experience - ie anecdata. So was my post - my personal experience of a couple of TiMs in academia who were small skinny boys and then small skinny men and had suffered so badly at school because they were "weedy" that they chose to identify out of it. At no point did I say that all small skinny men would choose a trans identity. Your family do not have the monopoly on small skinny men.

Basquervill · 13/02/2026 11:34

There’s discussion in the epstein files about creating gender confusion to destabilise societal health. Apparently its part of the Frankist agenda.

Whocares63 · 13/02/2026 11:36

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 11/02/2026 22:07

People were saying gay people were mentally ill not that long ago.

Hopefully things change.

My partner is a trans man and I see his struggle to be accepted. It can’t be easy.

So your partner is a woman. You can't change your sex. It's impossible

Swipe left for the next trending thread