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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Trans- gender dysphoria- mental illness?

206 replies

TheBlueKoala · 11/02/2026 21:06

There are so many young people suffering with MH problems. They are trying to find an identity and nowadays when gender is à la carte it seems epidemic.

Looking at the small percentage of transgender people and high prolific crimes something does tell me that there seems to be a correlation between transgender and mental illness. Which makes me believe that it's really a question of gender dysphoria as in identity dysphoria in general. Ofcourse there are exceptions but I think these recent cases should be taken into consideration. What are we doing to our children telling them that they can choose gender as in a restaurant menu? I think it's harmful and noone below 18 should be allowed to change whatsoever- they can call themselves human- as we all are.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/world-news/2026/02/11/canada-school-shooting-tumbler-ridge-british-columbia/

https://abcnews.com/US/teen-sentenced-life-prison-2019-school-shooting/story?id=71949051

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.pbs.org/newshour/amp/nation/as-officials-searched-for-charlie-kirks-shooter-suspect-confessed-to-his-partner-prosecutor-says

https://derechadiario.com.ar/us/argentina/transsexual-schizophrenic-far-left-murderer-young-swedish-woman-after-attempting-to-rape-girl

Teen sentenced to life in prison for May 2019 school shooting

A teen who opened fire in a suburban Denver STEM school last year was sentenced to life in prison.

https://abcnews.com/US/teen-sentenced-life-prison-2019-school-shooting/story?id=71949051

OP posts:
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DuchessofStaffordshire · 12/02/2026 10:42

FMLGFastMovingLuxuryGoods · 11/02/2026 22:20

I don’t think it’s entirely mental illness. I think it’s also shit parenting and being in a cult-like environment whereby someone tells a child if they’re not a stereotypical girl or boy they must be the opposite sex.

Poor kids. Imagine being so failed from so young.
It really baffles me why people don’t probe their kids more about why they feel like the opposite sex. And then tell them that liking cars, short hair and action figures doesn’t make them a boy.

We did not have this gender nonsense on the 80’s and 90’s. I wore the same clothes as my brothers, no pink and blue nonsense and I was a huge tomboy. Nobody ever suggested that made me a boy and I feel so sad that, in another time with another set of parents, I’d have been gaslighted into thinking there was something wrong with me

Same here, I grew up playing with Lego, carving out caves in muddy cliff sides and generally getting filthy, hated Barbie (I cut the hair off my sister's) and stuffed a dress my mum tried to force me to wear into the toilet. Looking back, I didn't really identify as either a boy or a girl and was described as a tomboy. I still have more typically 'male' (if there is such a thing) characteristics bar my physical appearance.

TheKeatingFive · 12/02/2026 10:47

I agree that this study is terribly flawed.

But even if it wasn't, all it would show is that the spectrum of male behaviour/attitudes/psychology is broader than we imagined.

If it was possible to isolate a group of males who have different brain activity than other males - they are still a subset of males.

They are not actually women who found themselves in the 'wrong body' because that is pure science fiction.

Helleofabore · 12/02/2026 10:50

Also, of course, a female brain structure has been proven to be a female brain structure. Shape and brain fibre structure.

And of course, estrogen will impact brains in similar ways physically too.

Helleofabore · 12/02/2026 10:53

More importantly, it has been shown through the taxi driver studies and others that repetition of activities and interests create similar brain patterns when they are tested.

Again, it just means that a male brain is just another male brain even if they believe they are doing stereotypical female activities and interests.

Tadpolesinponds · 12/02/2026 10:57

ChatGPT is transactivist, isn't it? When I asked it about any serious crimes by transmen in the UK, it explained to me that trans people are discriminated against and unfairly accused of crimes. It claimed not to know of any crimes by transmen. When I told it about the conviction for a planned mass school shooting by a transboy in Edinburgh in 2025 (Felix Winter), ChatGPT said that Felix Winter was only stated to be transgender by some of the media, not all of it, so shouldn't necessarily be seen as transgender (not mentioning that one of those media sources was actually the BBC, plus it's obvious from the photos that Felix was a girl). ChatGPT automatically gives its view and does its own filter when I look for something online, and it's biased, with its own agenda. That's a pretty disastrous situation when magnified by everyone who uses the internet.

FlirtsWithRhinos · 12/02/2026 11:07

Underthinker · 12/02/2026 07:18

"If we wanted to take a preventative approach, we would reduce the factors that make a child feel suicidal. Would you be willing to embrace an affirmative approach to trans children if it reduced suicidality?"

Trying to engineer a situation where the while world affirms is coercive and impossible.

What we have now is trans "allies" including large organisations, media and politicians, pushing a self serving narrative where they affirm trans people, but say that others don't because they are transphobic and hateful. And trans kids are not "safe" around such hate.

Imagine telling vulnerable kids they are widely hated, persecuted and in danger, then wondering why their mental health doesn't improve.

Also, affirming trans identies does not exist in a vacuum. It has consequences for other people as well.

If society agrees something in a man's mind means he's really a woman, it is unavoidably also agreeing that it is something in a woman's mind rather than the reality of her body that makes her a woman. And that unavoidably reduces the scope of womanhood to just a subset of our actual mental cabilities and possibilities. Many women do not see ourselves as simply a mental subset of humanity and it is not at all fair to force this identity on to us.

When society agrees that such men should, for their own comfort or mental health, be accomodated with women rather than men in single sex spaces, opportunities and language, it is unavoidably also agreeing that the women in those spaces must accept sharing them with men regardless of their own comfort or mental health, regardless of whether those women do in fact have the same belief that womanhood is a mixed sex mental attribute which they also see in themselves or not.

Many women do not consider a male bodied person to have a body that is somehow metaphysically like ours and therefore actually a female body because of how he feels inside, and it not at all fair to force his touch onto us when we ask for female care.

Distress and mental health issues are so often caused or aggravated by circumstances. There are many things society could do to alleviate this for individuals that we do not do because of the unfair demands or consequences for others.

The incels would be happier if women were forced to date/fuck them. The homeless would be happier if homeowners were forced to give up their spare room to house a stranger. The alcoholic would be happier if someone else fed and housed them then left alone to drink. Millions of abusive men would be happier if their wives just smiled and obeyed them in all things like a Stepford robot.

We don't sacrifice one group to the unreasonable beliefs of another in thise cases and we should not be allowing sexist or disordered ideas about what type of mind is "right" for men and men to sacrifice female identity, autonomy and rights.

Once you look at the whole picture rather than just considering the male half of the picture, you realise it isn't a cost free accommodation at all, but a huge and unreasonable demand on women to accomodate the needs of some men.

Hoardasurass · 12/02/2026 11:18

FlirtsWithRhinos · 12/02/2026 11:07

Also, affirming trans identies does not exist in a vacuum. It has consequences for other people as well.

If society agrees something in a man's mind means he's really a woman, it is unavoidably also agreeing that it is something in a woman's mind rather than the reality of her body that makes her a woman. And that unavoidably reduces the scope of womanhood to just a subset of our actual mental cabilities and possibilities. Many women do not see ourselves as simply a mental subset of humanity and it is not at all fair to force this identity on to us.

When society agrees that such men should, for their own comfort or mental health, be accomodated with women rather than men in single sex spaces, opportunities and language, it is unavoidably also agreeing that the women in those spaces must accept sharing them with men regardless of their own comfort or mental health, regardless of whether those women do in fact have the same belief that womanhood is a mixed sex mental attribute which they also see in themselves or not.

Many women do not consider a male bodied person to have a body that is somehow metaphysically like ours and therefore actually a female body because of how he feels inside, and it not at all fair to force his touch onto us when we ask for female care.

Distress and mental health issues are so often caused or aggravated by circumstances. There are many things society could do to alleviate this for individuals that we do not do because of the unfair demands or consequences for others.

The incels would be happier if women were forced to date/fuck them. The homeless would be happier if homeowners were forced to give up their spare room to house a stranger. The alcoholic would be happier if someone else fed and housed them then left alone to drink. Millions of abusive men would be happier if their wives just smiled and obeyed them in all things like a Stepford robot.

We don't sacrifice one group to the unreasonable beliefs of another in thise cases and we should not be allowing sexist or disordered ideas about what type of mind is "right" for men and men to sacrifice female identity, autonomy and rights.

Once you look at the whole picture rather than just considering the male half of the picture, you realise it isn't a cost free accommodation at all, but a huge and unreasonable demand on women to accomodate the needs of some men.

A perfect example of this is the Scottish government's arguments in crt for housing some men in the women's prison estate and their inability to answer the judges questions about women prisoners rights

Witchcraftandhokum · 12/02/2026 11:18

arethereanyleftatall · 11/02/2026 22:25

I’m so sorry about this.
do you think though if he could go back a few steps, or decades, so not even know trans was a thing, that this tragedy wouldn’t have occurred? I’m sorry as this must be so difficult to talk about, but terfs are all about protecting kids from the root.

"Terfs are all about protecting kids from the root"

They really aren't, every single.one I've encountered has been utterly vile.

Witchcraftandhokum · 12/02/2026 11:20

WelcometomyUnderworld · 11/02/2026 22:16

I’m sorry to hear that, but surely that only strengthens the OP’s point. Your nephew was sadly mentally ill.

Unless you are a medical health professional who assessed my nephew before he killed himself then how dare you be so fucking presumptuous.

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 12/02/2026 11:22

Witchcraftandhokum · 12/02/2026 11:18

"Terfs are all about protecting kids from the root"

They really aren't, every single.one I've encountered has been utterly vile.

Every person you’ve met who knows you can’t change sex and thinking giving harmful life altering drugs to children is a disastrous idea have been ‘utterly vile’? Every single one? Hmm ok.

Witchcraftandhokum · 12/02/2026 11:22

TwattingDog · 11/02/2026 22:13

I'm very sorry to hear that. He was clearly very unwell and vulnerable child.

Knew him personally did you?

lifeturnsonadime · 12/02/2026 11:25

I don't really understand an argument that suggests that a young teenager who killed himself wasn't mentally unwell in the lead up to that tragic event.

People with healthy minds don't tend to kill themselves.

Witchcraftandhokum · 12/02/2026 11:26

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Basquervill · 12/02/2026 11:26

I don’t truly understand how cultural appropriation is discredited but gender appropriation is given a free pass. When men say they feel that they are women…. Well.. hold on… they are assuming they know what women feel like.. which is an inherently patriarchal position… the gaping holes in this are enormous. They simply can’t know what feeling like a woman is! They are in a fiction.

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 12/02/2026 11:28

lifeturnsonadime · 12/02/2026 11:25

I don't really understand an argument that suggests that a young teenager who killed himself wasn't mentally unwell in the lead up to that tragic event.

People with healthy minds don't tend to kill themselves.

Quite. If a young teenager was anorexic you wouldn’t affirm this in any way.

Acommonreader · 12/02/2026 11:30

FMLGFastMovingLuxuryGoods · 11/02/2026 22:20

I don’t think it’s entirely mental illness. I think it’s also shit parenting and being in a cult-like environment whereby someone tells a child if they’re not a stereotypical girl or boy they must be the opposite sex.

Poor kids. Imagine being so failed from so young.
It really baffles me why people don’t probe their kids more about why they feel like the opposite sex. And then tell them that liking cars, short hair and action figures doesn’t make them a boy.

We did not have this gender nonsense on the 80’s and 90’s. I wore the same clothes as my brothers, no pink and blue nonsense and I was a huge tomboy. Nobody ever suggested that made me a boy and I feel so sad that, in another time with another set of parents, I’d have been gaslighted into thinking there was something wrong with me

Completely agree. Boys can wear dresses, long hair and make up and change their name to Sophie- all absolutely fine and should be socially acceptable. But they are not a girl.
We need to stop normalising set in stone gender stereotypes. Appearance and Gender can be free , creative and flexible. Sex is not.

TrainedByDinosaurs · 12/02/2026 11:31

I’ve met many trans identified men, every single one of them has behaved in a sexually creepy manner towards me 🤮even the one that was my sons age 🤮🤮

FlirtsWithRhinos · 12/02/2026 11:32

On the OP's original point, I'd say we have a Venn diagram of two overlapping circles.

One is people whose pre-existing mental health issues find an expression through trans gender identies because that is a dominant narrative in the current cultural climate.

The other is people with disordered ideas about sex, gender and possibly also sexuality that they project onto others then see reflected back as real. Within that group we have the sexual fetishists whose perception of "women" has become entirely sexualised, and the people with deeply internalised false narratives about men and women that lead them to genuinely believe their personality is incompatible with their sex. What links them is their identity relies on a projection of their own ideas about the opposite sex.

Of course the two circles overlap very much and the overlap increases as the trans identity deepens. The disordered sexist's mental health sufers as they become increasingly isolated through their need to impose control over others and their distress at being challenged and rejected causing them to reteat into embattled communities of like minded people which increases the isolation and paranoia, while the mentally distressed person cannot express their identity unless they create/accept mental differences between the sexes to give them something to identify into, which then become fundamental to their ideas about men and women.

Scramado · 12/02/2026 11:36

Hoardasurass · 12/02/2026 11:18

A perfect example of this is the Scottish government's arguments in crt for housing some men in the women's prison estate and their inability to answer the judges questions about women prisoners rights

The Scottish Government just weren’t able to think through the consequences for women. They are that thick! Tits staggering that some thought them suitable to govern.

Scramado · 12/02/2026 11:40

This reply has been deleted

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What do you think society should have done but didn’t to help your nephew live happily?

TheKeatingFive · 12/02/2026 11:40

Acommonreader · 12/02/2026 11:30

Completely agree. Boys can wear dresses, long hair and make up and change their name to Sophie- all absolutely fine and should be socially acceptable. But they are not a girl.
We need to stop normalising set in stone gender stereotypes. Appearance and Gender can be free , creative and flexible. Sex is not.

Very well expressed. Exactly

Hoardasurass · 12/02/2026 11:41

Scramado · 12/02/2026 11:36

The Scottish Government just weren’t able to think through the consequences for women. They are that thick! Tits staggering that some thought them suitable to govern.

I'd say that its not that they cant think of the consequences for women more that they just don't care as they dont see us as fully human in the way men are

Scramado · 12/02/2026 11:44

Hoardasurass · 12/02/2026 11:41

I'd say that its not that they cant think of the consequences for women more that they just don't care as they dont see us as fully human in the way men are

I don’t think anyone can rationalise why the Scottish government are doing what they’re doing. It makes no sense to anyone at all.

FlirtsWithRhinos · 12/02/2026 11:48

Scramado · 12/02/2026 11:36

The Scottish Government just weren’t able to think through the consequences for women. They are that thick! Tits staggering that some thought them suitable to govern.

Oh they see the consequences, they just don't think it matters.

The faith-based logic is, I think, that so called cis women start in a better place than trans women simply by not having to deal with being trans every day of ther lives, so it's ok to take from cis people to give to trans people because it's just evening the scales.

The actual reason, which I'm sure they don't consciously realise, is that women are very boring and everyday so they don't really think have distinct personalities or inner lives, while trans women are rare and precious and must be noticed and accomodated.

Verv · 12/02/2026 11:50

I absolutely think that they are mentally unwell plus exhibit the same patterns of violent and sexual offending as the rest of their male cohorts.

I think that when you take MH issues and paraphilias and combine them with persistent affirmation/validation that they are both "in the wrong body" / "victims" and "oppressed" along with the burgeoning "mess with us and your pronouns will be was/were" entitled TRA mindset - you get a new breed of offender. One that we are seeing in growing numbers.